I want a cold joke. The colder it is, the more money I will give.

1. Son: I heard that men in some African countries don't know their wives until they get married. Is it true?/You don't say.

Father: Not only in Africa, but all over the world.

The hostess came back from the outside and asked the new maid, "Did you clean the refrigerator as I told you?"

"Yes, madam." The maid replied, "Everything is delicious! "

3. One day, Youyou asked an Egyptian slave, "What would you do if you were omnipotent?"

"Then I don't have to do anything. I sleep after eating every day and eat when I sleep. " The slave answered without thinking.

4. A writer was drafted into the army, and the monitor asked, "Did you go to primary school?"

He replied, "Yes. I also went to middle school, got three degrees from the university, and ... "

The monitor nodded, held up a rubber stamp and printed the word "literacy" on the paper.

5. Walking on campus today, suddenly a girl came face to face and asked me: Would you like to be my boyfriend? Brother leng, I haven't seen this woman. I don't think I'm handsome enough to be so direct. At this time, the girl asked impatiently: Do you like it or not? Considering the girl's self-esteem, I solemnly replied: I do. This is the girl who picked up the phone and shouted, did you hear that? I'm not redundant! !

6. In a primary school, the teacher asked, "Mardin, can you tell me what people use to identify the age of hens?"

"Use your teeth, teacher!"

"But the hen has no teeth."

"Hens may not have teeth, but I do. If the hen's meat is tender, she is young; You will be old if you can't bite! "

7. One day, a nurse and another nurse in the intensive care unit said: The bed is too tight to arrange outside.

The other said, don't worry, look at this, that and that over there. They are almost the same. There will be a place after tonight. ...

8. It is said that Bian Que and Huan Hou are both hybrids. Bian Que said, "If you are sick, you will be afraid if you don't treat it." Huan Hou deleted Bian Que's post. When Bian Que saw him again, he said, "Your illness lies in your skin. If you don't treat it, you will benefit deeply. " Huan Hou granted Bian Que 90 days of intellectual property rights. When Bian Que saw him again, he said, "Your illness is in your stomach. If you don't treat it, you will benefit deeply. " He invited Bian Que to Houfu for tea. Bian Que looked at Huan Hou and walked away. Huan Hou asked him and wanted to talk, but everything he could say was sensitive, but he couldn't say it. Then I died of illness.

9. A lumberjack went to apply for a job. Foreman: Try the forest ahead and see how many trees you can see in one minute. After a minute, the foreman: Wow! 20 trees a minute, amazing! Where did you work before? Worker: Sahara forest. Foreman: No, I've only heard of the Sahara Desert! Worker: Yes, I changed my name later!

10. Once upon a time, many electrical appliances were in the same boat. The ship is sinking and something must be thrown down. They decided to tell jokes, and whoever's jokes were not funny would be thrown away. The TV first told a funny story, and everyone laughed. Only on the phone, it's so cold! The TV set was thrown down. It will still sink, so the computer says it's funny. Everyone laughed, but the phone said it was so cold! The computer was thrown down. It will still sink, so the microwave oven racked its brains to think of a super funny one. Everyone laughed, but the phone still said, it's so cold! Just when everyone was about to throw the microwave oven, I saw the cell phone turn angrily to the refrigerator and said, could you please stop laughing with your mouth open so wide? !

1 1. A little boy asked his father, "Do you know what has two heads, six legs and 1 tail?"

Dad thought for a moment and said, "I don't know." What is this? My dear child? "

"A man on horseback."

12. A citizen just celebrated his centenary birthday when a reporter came to interview him.

"What do you think kept you alive for so long?" The reporter asked.

The old man thought about it, knocked on the table with his hand and said word for word, "I never smoke or drink, never overeat, and always get up at six in the morning."

"But," the reporter objected, "I have an uncle who did the same thing as you, but only lived to be fifty years old. Why is this? "

"He won't last long." The old man answered calmly.

13. The little tiger blushed and asked the little squirrel: Can I eat you? The little squirrel thinks this is an interesting joke. He said, is this the first time you have eaten animals? Little tiger was even more embarrassed and said, yes, mom is not at home. I used to suck milk.

14. A salesman knocked on the restaurant on the corner and asked for a glass of wine. He just took a sip and suddenly froze: "Why, isn't this a cup of boiled water?" "Oh," said the shopkeeper, "Oh, no, I forgot to mix the wine."

15. On the street of Paris, a moving car splashed mud on a countryman. The countryman shouted at the driver who got off the bus.

"What a pity! If this happens in our country, the driver will immediately get off the bus, apologize to others, take him to his house, wash his clothes, invite him to drink champagne and let him spend the night. The next morning, I will invite him to breakfast, give him money, and then send him on his way. "

The driver said, "This is absolutely impossible!"

"It's true!"

"Is this your personal experience?"

"My wife has experienced it."

16. When the millionaire drove past a village in a luxurious extended Lincoln, he saw two beggars pulling grass by the roadside and stopped immediately. "Why do you eat grass?" "We really have no money." A beggar replied. "Really, get in the car and go to my house." "I still have a wife and two children at home." A beggar muttered. "Call them! The rich man pointed to another beggar. And you, call your family. " "My family has a large population. Besides my wife, there are five children. " Another beggar said it doesn't matter, call and go! In this way, two beggars and their families got on the bus, but fortunately it was an extended bus. On the way to exercise, a beggar's wife said gratefully, "Boss, it's very kind of you to invite even poor people like us to our home." The millionaire replied, "Nothing, I just came back from abroad, and my house has been neglected.". The lawn in the yard may be more than one meter high, so you can eat enough! "

17. A girl met a gangster at night. The gangster asked fiercely, stop! Why are you going? The girl didn't want to be robbed of money, and said piteously, go and borrow money. The gangster still asked fiercely: What do you borrow money for? The girl was afraid of being robbed. She said that she had no money to treat sexually transmitted diseases. The gangster roared: get out!

18. There is a girl in the class who is abnormal. The nickname of QQ is "Rejection". Once, I asked her curiously, "Why do you call it that?" She turned around and said with a shy expression, "Don't you think it would be more subtle to add radicals?"

19. Once I bought beef, I asked my boss, "Have you tested this beef?" The boss said, "Of course!" I said, "Then I'm relieved. Give me five Jin. " Then I asked my boss, "How is your cow tested?" The boss said, "I think it's a cow. I killed it." Me: "..."

20. A university issued a notice on the cat's paw to build a world-class university, but it was labeled as a "world rogue university" because of careless typing. Seven days later, I found the mistake, but no one corrected it. All posts are: like one!

It should be new enough.

Not enough to play app jokes.