What are the witticisms of the flower band Zhang Wei?

1. What animals live on the wall? A: Poster (stamp)

2. How many people are there in a group? Answer: 20 people (20 English and 20 homophones)

How many brothers does Aladdin have? Answer: three (Allah A, Allah B, Allah C)

4. What color can best imitate? Answer: red (red mill)

5. Why are there only 24 English letters left? Answer: because E.T flew away.

6. Why does Cixi wear so many clothes? Answer: Because Cixi is' too thick'

7. Which leg is the longest in Jin Mu? Answer: Fire is because the legs of fire are long.

8. What kind of insect has the darkest teeth? Answer: Ants have black teeth. . . "(a prelude to a song)

9. Yang Guo and Wang Wenbo went to drink, while Yang Guo lay on the toilet and hit an animal. Answer: Rabbit (vomit)

10. Yang Guo and Wang Wenbo went to drink, while Wang Wenbo lay on the toilet and hit an animal. Answer: rogue rabbit (rogue rabbit "spits")

1 1. Lamidon, that's enough. Make a song title. Answer: Love me and don't go.

12. Sanjin, what's it called? Call Xin. What are the names of the five gold medals? His name is Takeshi Kaneshiro. Because Jin X5

1. Singers on the Chinese song list held a charity sale for tsunami-stricken areas. Among them, the Wall Band donated a watch, and Zhang Wei joked that whoever won the bid would be Wall's "cousin cousin".

2. Zhang Wei: Do you know what flowers we all like? Moderator: I don't know. Zhang Wei: We like spending money.

3. Moderator and Zhang Wei: #? ￥! #-* (…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… .。 . . . Spoil = how did you fall? !

4. Zhang Wei: Do you know what animals are most likely to fall down? Everyone: I don't know Zhang Wei: Fox Everyone: Why? Zhang Wei: The fox got away (sly) ~ ~ (fell down again ~ handsome)

5. Zhang Wei: Which is the hottest, pineapple, pear or pitaya? Moderator: Which one? Zhang Wei: Pears! Because ions are hot!

6. Moderator: Now that many bands are disbanded, will you disband? Walter: Yes! ! ! Moderator: (unexpectedly) Oh, what will you do after dissolution? Zhang Wei: My uncle recently opened a pancake stall. I'll help him then. Moderator: ................................................................................................................................................... Yang Guo: I will be a street manager in the future, specializing in copying Zhang Wei's pancake stall. Moderator: ................................................................................................................................................ Shi Xingyu: I will drive in the future. Compere: Very good job. Shi Xingyu: Riding Zhang Weijia's scooter pulling pancakes. Moderator: ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

7. Bobo: I am weak in writing. . . Zhang Wei: Yes, he read more ancient poems and essays, so he doesn't understand modern literature. (Hahahaha, crazy and funny! )

8. Zhang Wei: Do you know who was the first nearsighted person in China Moderator: ... Zhang Wei: Li Bai Moderator:? Zhang Wei: Because he said, "There is such a bright light at the foot of my bed. Why is the ground frosty? ! "Full court; ..... Zhang Wei: Do you know who is the most melancholy person? Four people in chorus: Fan Zhongyan! (Endorsement) Worry about the world first, and enjoy it later! !

9. Zhang Wei's joke: Xiaoming has a square head. At school, all the teachers and classmates said to Xiaoming, "Your head looks like a kite!" " The old man at the door also said to Xiaoming, "Your head looks like a kite!" " Xiao Ming ran home sadly and asked his mother, Why does my head look like a kite? "Mom said," Of course, your father and grandpa's heads look like kites! ""Xiao Ming ran away heartbroken, running on the road, his head turned into a kite and flew away.

10. Zhang Wei: "When I was a child, our teacher said the word' handsome'. I don't understand what this means. Then I went home and saw it in the mirror. So this is handsome ... "

1 1. Moderator: "How to distinguish flowers? Zhang Wei is the most talkative, Yang Guo is the least talkative, Wang Wenbo is the one with a beard, and Shi Xingyu looks like Shao Jiayi. " Zhang Wei: "No, we don't. Shi Xingyu is particularly young because he looks the best. Needless to say, a macho man with a muscle size of up to 3CM like me. "

12 Shen Ling: Alas, it's getting harder and harder to satisfy reporters now. It's not enough just to watch MV telling jokes. It's really not easy to play the role of Donnie Yen as an agent ... Zhang Wei: Do you know why? Because they are all Han people, not Manchu people. Manchu = satisfaction

15. Moderator: Just now, I also saw some netizens say that when I listened to the strawberry statement, it was 1.5 meters, and now it is 1.8 meters. Wang Wenbo: What's this friend's qq number? I'll consult you another day. Shi Xingyu: Wang Wenbo really dedicated his height to everyone.

16. Reporter: Your creative inspiration is so good now. Can you tell us how you feel? Zhang Wei: Feeling? Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. Its realization is that many people say that we sing without music, which I don't understand. It's ducks with music.

18. Zhang Wei's English explanation of whether we can't break up is that we can't break up.

19. Zhang Wei: Do you know when it will become a descendant of the dragon? Zhang Wei: When waiting in line.

20. In the Taiwanese music special, Zhang Wei revealed the bottom of the fruit: one day when I was a child, the fruit pulled my father and said, "Dad, Dad, the teacher said you would give me 50 yuan, and tomorrow the teacher will take us to the big park to see the boa constrictor." Then, his father slapped him and said, "Take 50 yuan.

2 1. Moderator: What happened to Uncle's waist? Are you tired of playing drums? Zhang Wei: I'll tell you this ... the specific reason ... is that his mother told him ... Wang Wenbo went home that day ... there was sand in his shoes ... so he took off his shoes and shook the handrail of the stairs several times. A man came up from behind ... thinking that Wang Wenbo had been electrocuted ... he handed it to a stick and hit Wang Wenbo ... haha. And that's it. ! !

22. Moderator: A fan said that there is a group called F4 in Taiwan Province Province, which is a nymphomaniac. What does your name mean? Zhang Wei: Let me tell you! I am a flower, and then I don't want to spill it in my hand, you know, and then, this (Yang Guo), what is this, this is (omit n) ... Yang Guo: Don't tell me that you want to say that I planted your flower ... Zhang Wei: No, no, no ... This is cauliflower, cauliflower, just to catch you. Then, Shi Xingyu is a spark, needs to rub occasionally, and often stays with him; (pointing to Wang Wenbo) Shi Xingyu, no, Shi Xingyu, no, what's his name again? (I know it's Wang Wenbo at everyone's prompt) Zhang Wei: Wang Wenbo is a twist (Wang Wenbo ⊙o⊙, everyone laughs). You can't remember him if you're not hungry!

23. Zhang Wei: No matter how dirty the world is, we can't dirty the world; Moderator: The studio is in chaos again. I will stick to it. I can imagine what the flowers did to the photo studio market at that time, hehe.

24. A hilarious press conference of the Travel Channel ~ On the stage are Zhang Wei and Guo Guo, and on the stage are two other flowers, one of which I remember. Speaking of being wanted in the United States a while ago, Zhang Wei said: Here's the thing. I think I'm going to America. I returned to my alma mater. I graduated from California Beef Noodle University ..... a lot. . . Xiaoyu pretended to be entertaining and said, I'm just teasing you with the newspaper. Zhang Wei said, I'm kidding. You shoot first, and then Xiaoyu is wronged. . Everyone also said that we should be kind to journalists. Then Xiaoyu said: Another one is that it is said that you took a small white card at the airport. What happened? Zhang Wei said: Do you know what [it is said] is? It is said that you heard it but didn't see it! Don't you see what you're talking about here? It almost killed me. Later, someone talked about our fishing. Zhang Wei said, I am from abroad. He (referring to Guo Guo), he wandered back, (laughing to himself), so. Seeing the food, he is hungry ... (then patting Guo Guo on the shoulder. . Let Guo Guo speak for himself) Guo Guo said: This wanderer. I saw such a big fish in it, and I thought to myself, I still don't want to eat it. I think I just haven't had enough to eat these days. . That's true. .

25. There was also a time when the Hua Dynasty was introduced later. Sell CDs as medicine. Say buy 10 package and send a basic smile-then laugh with the fruit. . That's interesting.

26. I think one of our fans is particularly unhappy and the other is particularly cheerful. Only those prudes and sanctimonious people don't like us, and they all vote for others, so I think people who vote for us are especially sincere people, so I am proud of those who can vote for us ~ In fact, we are all polite, and we all say that I am introverted, but no one believes me ~ In fact, I am shy, and then I feel a little depressed ~ That's me ~ Later I changed, or because of Wang Wenbo. . . Who listens ~ Only later did we know that we were the kind of people who saved others, but only when we landed did we know that we were heroes ~ Money was real ~ Fame was just fame ~ At that time, we thought it was quite fun ~ Later, when we were able to earn what we thought was a good income, we felt that life was quite good ~

27. A proud fox and tiger ~ A lonely chicken is not as good as a chicken ~ From a historical perspective, what is the result of a three-legged horse? Is depravity! So what happens when a horse has four legs? Run fast! So everyone will understand this truth, three people can only stand the tripod ~ four people can stand the sky! (Xiaoyu joins) I wish I were forever 12 years old. I hate growing up.

28. Who do you want to be popular in Japan? 12 girl band didn't sing ~ so I hope everyone must rejuvenate the nation ~ Let's turn Chinese into the most widely used language in the world ~ So everyone can listen to what we sing ~ The rabbit plays drums ~ The little rabbit plays drums there. Whose battery is it? Fans are batteries ~ We play drums on them ~ So as long as you support us and have enough electricity, we will keep playing drums on them ~ If you forget the word fun, what's the point ~

29. I want to mention environmental awareness here, that is to say, everyone should love small animals because they are delicious (take a new album). This product is very good. As long as it's 20 yuan, there are two packs in it, which are eaten twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening. After a course of treatment,/kloc-you will get better in 0/5 days. Buy 10 package at a time and get a vcr as beautiful as our new album. You can find it in every major video store. Oh, no, you can buy it. My father's name is Zhangkou and my name is Zhang Wei and Shi Xingyu. On the surface, I am motionless and restless. In fact, my heart is blue. Any girl throws a small stone into his heart, and he can set off a lot of tsunamis ~ Shi Xingyu is difficult to integrate into this entertainment circle. Because he never knew what he was talking about, there were two beggars, Wang Wenbo and Shi Xingyu. Before the album was released, both of them were poor and met in the street. Then they say to each other that you are poor and you are poor. Then Shi Xingyu said, "I saw your mother in the street the other day and took a can." I asked your mother why, and your mother asked me to move out. " Then Wang Wenbo said, "I am poor and your family is poor." Last time I walked in the street, I saw another board dragging next to your mother's board. I asked your mother what happened. Your mother said that business has been good recently. Open up a little! "

30. In fact, many people say that I look like Tony Leung Chiu Wai, but I don't want to admit it, you know, because I think a person should have characteristics, and I also think I look like Kimura Takuya ~

3 1. I am alone, in fact, what I hate most is being serious. Seriously, sometimes it should exist, but I think you should live a cheerful and optimistic life. I think if you have a lot of pain and sorrow, you should digest it yourself and face life with a particularly optimistic mood, so that you can live happily. Needless to say, you don't have to struggle, but you have achieved results.

32. It's good to hurt others. I think it is the crystallization of wisdom ~ the average person can't hurt so much ~ he dare not hit us. He knows that he can't make money if he hits us. For example, Shi Xingyu, ordinary people and superficial people think fighting is very hard ~ actually it is not. This palm can break your spirit every ten meters, so many friends don't like us.

In fact, many people think Wang Wenbo is short, but they don't think Wang Wenbo is short. In fact, it is not difficult to find that Wang Wenbo is actually standing when playing drums ~ mentally a big brother ~

34. Yang Guo is very interesting. Yang Guo used to go to Changchun. When he got off the plane, he said, "Mom, I'm in Shenyang! Let someone pick me up! " He kept telling others that he had gone to Shenyang. Actually, we went to Changchun. He often does such things. Sometimes he goes there and asks his friends to pick him up. His friend has gone, but in fact he didn't go to that place. I never understood what it was like to be a fan before. Today I finally realized that I was at a loss. My head is blank, and I want to cry when I see him. With this feeling, if I care too much about feathers, I will lose my whole wing. Thanks for your support. I hope you can buy an album and give us an extra royalty ~ I never tease them, so you should be careful not to be too familiar with me, or I won't tease you ~ the moon is leaving me. Wash your hands before and after meals. Bad students become better students after listening to our songs, and good students can be better. There is also that unhappy people can become happier, and happy people can be happier ~ Our music is icing on the cake, which can make young people who run counter to it on the right track ~ Welcome to watch the law go on ~ The mountain is not high, the scenery is not deep, and the quality of life of people is six words: Anyway. Since nothing can be done, here we are. What can we do?

If you have to do it, the rivers and lakes are sinister, and if it is not good, you will withdraw.

35. My name is Zhang Wei, not Zhang Dawei. If you want to call me Zhang Dawei, my mother will be anxious with you ~ We actually feel very noble. I think our temperament will be ruined if it is not well displayed. There are few artists with aristocratic temperament in China, only the four of us ~ there is gold under men's buttocks ~ there is no gold under knees ~ let me analyze, our band, that is, under 25 years old, comes from. So, I think people will like us more in the middle of the year. Actually, I think so. 14 years old, 5 years old rebellious, 25 years old to truly embark on the right track of life. They will think about what life is like, then what I should like and what I shouldn't like, and then they will live in a system made by themselves. I think it's pathetic. Humans should be indifferent to fear. If a person is indifferent, it is equivalent to his own death. So it's 25 points short.

There are many living dead among these people. Then these people, if you want to live like this, should not like us. If you still feel that your heart is still beating and your blood is still exploding, if you still feel lonely, you should like us. Thank you. I don't like people ~

36. You can lose everything in your life, but you can't lose your ideals, can you? It is ideal that you like the waltz band. This ideal is very good ~ even if many people block it, don't give up. People are great because of their ideals ~ Many people can't understand Shi Xingyu's humor, but in fact, Shi Xingyu's humor is indispensable in our band, just like I knew a particularly fat girl before, and then she said that she wanted to go to the sea, and I said that you wanted to go to the sea, so let's all go ashore ~ Then she said that you are like this, you are like this, and I am like this.

37. I have a friend who wants to chase a girl and ask her what she likes. The girl said that I like to hit it off, and then my friends were unhappy. The girl said what's wrong with you? What is wrong with me? My friend said, can I have a crew cut?

38. Sometimes, for example, I support Shi Xingyu, but I will choose Wang Wenbo ~ I just shaved my head yesterday, but it may not be very good. I just hope my friends will not be too nervous when they see me ~ I am your bowlegged ~ (Laughter) As you can see ~ Four green turtles with handsome covers ~ They are flower bands ~ I think many people in Beijing call us flower bands. It's so unlike us in Beijing. We Beijingers should be called Huaer Band ~ Only those who can't speak our Beijing dialect will be called Huaer Band ~ Like many bands can be called Huaer Band, that is, you have already called Huaer, and one more thing, are you sick ~ Yes, yes, don't take off your pants and fart, hmm.

39. Understanding others is the beginning for others to agree with you. Being an artist is actually the best career, because it benefits the people ~ It is estimated that no one can surpass him (Jay Chou) in five years except us. Anyway, when we go there are basically cats flying and dogs flashing ~ It's just a sign before the earthquake ~ We hope to travel all over the country ~ Leave the footprints of our flowers in every corner of the motherland, and there are no bitches left within a hundred miles ~

40. There are singers and comedians ~ We are going to be oblique stars ~ I just feel a little biased ~ I think those who can bring joy to the crowd are really great people ~ Smiling is the best cosmetic ~

4 1. Yang Guo is a man, that is, why is he our big brother? I often feel dizzy at ordinary times, such as sticking out my tongue and saying I'm overdrawn. Let's not talk about this. The key point is that Yang Guo really showed concern for us at some moments. It was a feather-like concern that made us feel very warm in our den.

42. When others cry, we laugh. This is the real success. Take a breath inside and practice fart outside.

43. My parents are the best people in the world ~ Of course, anyone's parents are the best people in the world, but my parents are a little better than them ~

44. Zhang Wei can read! Have a foundation! You can't just say so much! Everyone must clarify this point! The so-called Jing ke stabbed the king of Qin ... encouragement can turn an idiot into a hero ~ I kicked you in the face with 39 feet ~ God knows how grateful you are ~ kowtow didn't you see it ~

45. If you can get 1 1 yuan for a business, you should get 10 yuan, but in the end you only need to get 9 yuan. This is a probability of success, always remember to leave a way out for others. Because we, if we don't host now, we are afraid that there will be no way out if we host others. You see, once we host it, the ratings will be very high. What do you think of others? I'm not interested in idol dramas, but I'm still interested in sitcoms ~

46. Where do I think Jay Chou's good songs are? He is nothing, he is everything! This is his best place! For example, if you are our fan, you can promote one of your classes. For example, your class is our fans, so this is our greatest encouragement. For example, going to work can be promoted by colleagues at work. The so-called spread of ten, spread of a hundred, has become a well-known secret throughout the country. So soft ~ so supple ~ so confident ~ I believe that not only singing, but also many things will develop in the future, so we will wait and see ~ but don't become a flounder ~

47. It was my sister when I came in just now. Later, because I spoke too fast and typed too quickly, I became an aunt ~ Sorry, sorry ~ When people want to thank you, we will thank the sky ~ Flower is your last choice ~ What I said is actually a wheel-turning around ~ In fact, I am very modest, I am the second in the band, and I am very modest. Because of my bad legs, I am in a wheelchair ~

48. In the end, there will be a road. If there is a road, it will be paved at ordinary times ~

49. I have a good opinion of China TV. I think China TV is boring. Why not broadcast us live? How beautiful would it be if we broadcast our TV? So I hope China TV will multicast some good TV programs ~