Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Go home (1)

Go home (1)

Yang Mei has been depressed since she found out that she had to change her brother's marriage. I washed my face with tears, my eyes were swollen from crying. My mother wiped away her tears and said, "Ni, if you want to blame us, just blame us for being poor!" Yang Mei burst into tears. Don’t poor people even deserve love? Yangmei has read books, although not many. But I also know some truths. She knew that changing wives was a bad habit. But she didn't expect that this ridiculous misfortune would sadly happen to her. She said, "Mom, I won't obey you!" Her father roared in the room: "Everything is up to your whim? You want to be a mother, do you have that fate?" Yang Mei became speechless. Yang Mei did not dare to contradict her father. Dad has asthma, and he wheezes like a bellows. He was panting until his face turned sallow and his whole body was limp. But his temper was extremely violent, and he would scold people until he was out of breath and even foaming at the mouth. Yangmei was very scared, and so was my mother. Yangmei only dared to cry softly. She cried for a long time, it was very painful. Still didn't make my father change his mind. Yangmei begged her mother: "Mom, let me go out to work and buy a wife for my brother!" Her mother sighed: "Southern barbarians are very unruly and difficult to deal with. If you live a life, it will be gone. Human wealth. There are many people in Liangkong!" Yang Mei glanced at her brother, she hated him. The family is impoverished by his love for each other. "Oh, here we come." Mulan hurried over to help them light the fire and cook. He is as strong as a tiger and has a tall, healthy and handsome appearance. Judging from the appearance, everyone is satisfied with it. I just can't speak, and when I speak I become two hundred and fifty. I kissed him several times, and every girl looked at me with straight hair and straight face. People are willing to do it as soon as they see my appearance. We also began to give gifts at times and gifts at festivals. His mother always told him to go to her house. That evening, Zhao Rong had a drink with a few friends and walked home in a daze. A man dressed as a servant came face to face. I have never done anything illegal. What crime have I committed? Have you arrested the wrong person?" The old man grabbed Zhao Rong and said, "Isn't this Mr. Zhao? My master hasn't seen you for a long time, and he was thinking about it. I want to talk to you. What a coincidence. I met you on the street. "Stop talking." But every time he answered what others asked him, and if he didn't ask anything, he would ask others what he asked. One marriage was canceled one after another, until he was twenty-nine years old. His parents still wanted to continue their relationship with him, so they began to think about changing their marriage. Yangmei then suffered. My mother and aunt forced Yang Mei to make a decision three times a day. Yangmei cried, crying so helplessly. He said, "Brother, you are stupid and can't get married. If you have a little idiot in the future, you will be stupid for the rest of your life!" My aunt felt comfortable hearing this, but in fact she had long been laughing secretly. But her parents wanted to tear her mouth apart fiercely. Yang Mei felt that she couldn't live this life. Are you still your mother's biological child? She felt it was too bitter and unreasonable. The book says that love is a mutually agreeable thing. Why do I have to bear the consequences of this bad habit? And he ignored my grievances and pain! Yang Mei saw Wang Qinguan being driven out of the ancestral hall. In order to avoid future troubles, Wang Jiajue deliberately said to the old patriarch: "Such a scum has insulted our ancestors and the entire clan. What's the use of keeping him? In my opinion, it's better to keep him He cleans out the family and restores the innocence of the clan! "With Wang Jiajue's status, he naturally speaks loudly in the clan, so the magistrate of Zhongxiu County burst into tears because of his heartache, but thinking about it afterwards, it was thanks to his wife that he burned it. Only then did he save his life, otherwise, he might make the same mistake as the old rich man. Thinking of this, the county magistrate ordered Hei Huazhang to be arrested and punished. But the arresting government officials missed him. It turned out that thanks to someone who tipped him off, Hei Huazhang packed up his clothes and ran away. At the time of the genealogy, Wang Qinguan was permanently expelled from the Wang family. Thought of running away. Yes, I run away! Escaped and disappeared. You can't bear my tender heart to turn over and over again, even if I die with tears and blood, you have no mercy. Why can't I be hard-hearted? Yangmei no longer cries. Wash your face and eat like no one else. I am much gentler to my parents and my mood is improving. Her mother also came to ask her about her decision to change marriage. Yang Mei said, "Mom, I need to wear new clothes before I can go see people. I'll buy new clothes myself!" My parents were very pleased to hear this and they breathed a sigh of relief. I gave Yang Mei 200 yuan. Yang Mei didn’t buy clothes, but bought a ticket to Hangzhou. She is going to find a classmate who is a tailor in Hangzhou. It took a long journey to get to Hangzhou. Standing at the station and watching the crowds of people, I felt embarrassed. I just remembered that I should call my classmates, but found that I forgot to copy the number. I regretted that my intestines were turning green and I couldn't help crying. But I still called the village cadre’s house and told my mother that she was gone. She was afraid that her family would be turned upside down. Yangmei was at a loss. It is not a good idea for a husband to go home. "If he never comes back, how will he account to his boss?" He leaned on the table by the window, looking longingly at the darkness outside, and his uneasiness increased. As soon as the front foot left, Wang Lei's back foot slipped away.

Chen Peng did not go far, he just used a roundabout strategy and secretly found a place to hide. When he saw his wife going out, he immediately followed her quietly and watched the actions of his wife and her lover. Clearly. Chen Peng was not impulsive. He knew that impulsiveness was not good. If he caught someone on the spot, the other party might fight to the death. His wife made a fool of herself and felt that he was losing face, so he would take the initiative to ask for a divorce. But at that time, he did not If you have the slightest idea of ??breaking up, you can't do it inappropriately, otherwise you will lose everything. Possibly, there is not enough money for a return ticket. Besides, she didn't want to go back. Bayberry lingers on the overpass. Several beggars kowtowed to her on the overpass. Yang Mei was surprised and felt very cold. Am I an emperor? Someone kowtows to me? How pitiful! When Yang Mei first left home, she didn't know that the world was dangerous. I gave five yuan to a little beggar. It didn't matter. Five or six beggars immediately rushed out and asked her for it. Yang Mei was afraid and wanted to run away. But several children hugged her legs and refused to let go. I had no choice but to grit my teeth and take out twenty yuan to share with them. Many pedestrians on the overpass laughed and watched the excitement, but no one knew that Yang Mei had been hungry all day. Yang Mei didn't know that the income of these beggars kneeling on the street was several thousand a month. The little beggar will use her money to buy roast chicken. It was getting dark, and bayberry trees had been floating on the street all day. Cities are not villages. There is no sun at night in the city, but the night in the city is a brightly lit city that never sleeps. Yang Mei remembered that there was human trafficking in the city. I realized it was too dangerous to wander around on the street. I only have forty-one dollars in my pocket, and I don’t know what I will do tomorrow. She was reluctant to pay for her last life-saving money. Yangmei arrived at a construction site. The floors on each floor are all newly constructed building frames. It smelled of damp and choking cement. Yangmei found a cardboard box and laid it on her bed. She stayed up all night in fear, but no one knew. Yangmei spent the next few nights there. Yang Mei just left home. She had no experience, no skills, and a language barrier. Yang Mei has been unable to find anything to do for five days. On the night of the sixth day, someone discovered her at the construction site. The man who leads the work is named Liang, and he is a kind and sturdy Hokkien man. Ordinary people cannot speak Mandarin. A smile showed a mouth full of white teeth, very kind. He didn't ask anything about Yang Mei, but he knew that she was in dire straits and needed help. He just told Yangmei not to sleep in a place that was too humid, as that would cause arthritis. Yang Mei was grateful, but she lowered her head and neither doctor seemed to be well. Li Qing's wife remembered that there was a goddess in Zhangzhuang, her natal family, who was said to be quite efficacious, so she sent Li Qing to invite her. After the goddess came to burn incense and pray, she asked Li Qing: "Now, Wu Yang is truly convinced by Blind Man He. Blind Man He just hinted to him that the mutton-fat jade tiger was stolen from the tomb. No wonder the middle-aged man's expression Nervous, it turned out to be a tomb robber. Wu Yang asked Shopkeeper Sun: "The capable person you mentioned refers to Blind Man He, right?" "Did my wife go to the northwest half a month ago?" Li Qing said that his wife had returned to her parents' home half a month ago, and her parents' home happened to be in the northwest. The goddess closed her eyes and muttered something, and then opened her eyes after a while: "Your wife was haunted by an evil ghost, and her soul was robbed of her soul." Li Qing said in horror: "Please ask the immortal to help you for a long time, and Peony will become an immortal." , transformed into a human form, and became a girl of extraordinary beauty. Not far from the peony, there was a thousand-year-old bamboo that also became a spirit. This bamboo spirit was greedy for the beauty of the peony and had evil thoughts. In the dead of night, he became a prodigal. The young master went to woo Peony and often teased her with foul words. Peony's heart was whiter than jade and clearer than ice. She hated the dirty nature of the bamboo spirit and refused her request. When she saw that Peony refused to take the bait, she remembered that Lu Dongbin often gave her to her. The peony was weeded and watered, thinking that the peony was in love with Lu Dongbin, and she secretly hated Lu Dongbin. "Help!" The goddess said, "Go northwest from here. Is there an ancient well?" Li Qing nodded and said yes. "Your wife was entangled by the evil ghost in the well." Li Qing's face turned pale with fright: "Is there an evil ghost in the ancient well?" The goddess nodded: "I don't know why the evil ghost is looking for your wife, but the ghost must The soul of a living person can be strengthened. "Okay, let's do it." "The Jade Emperor replied. It's magic power. But if a person loses his soul, it will be difficult to survive. It must be cracked as soon as possible, otherwise his life will be in danger." Li Qing hurriedly asked about the method to crack it. The goddess said: "Yes, it is possible, but it is very dangerous. It needs to be more careful." When there is no moon, you can set up an altar and summon the evil spirit to negotiate with him, asking him to bring your wife's soul back. If the evil spirit refuses to obey, the outcome of the fight will be uncertain. "Li Qing, hurry up and ask for help." Zuo Yi said: "The Great Immortal is merciful, please save my wife. I don't care how much money you spend." The goddess sighed: "Seeing that you value love and justice, I will take this risk." Li Qing was overjoyed and thanked her repeatedly. The goddess told Li Qing what he should prepare. reason. Liang went back to the work shed and asked someone to bring her some food.

Yang Mei wolfed down all the food but didn't speak. A woman came and asked Yang Mei to sleep in the work shed with her, but Yang Mei refused to go. Still afraid of being tricked and trafficked, I sat still. The man named Liang and the woman had no choice but to shake their heads and leave. But Yang Mei no longer dared to sleep in the original frame. She was afraid that the man at the construction site was a wolf. Yangmei bravely climbed onto the shelf seven or eight meters high. There seemed to be a room above and the door was open. She curled up and climbed in. Sleeping until midnight, someone climbed up the ladder. Yang Mei held her breath and was extremely frightened. The moment that person walked in the door. Yang Mei yelled "Who" and then heard a scream of "Ah" and the man fell down the ladder to the ground. Then there was a noise and chaos in the work shed, and many people ran towards it. The man surnamed Liang shined a flashlight on the fallen man, and immediately realized that he was broke. When the man came to the upper room, Chongfu asked the waiter to serve tea to Wu Yi, and said very politely: "Boss Wu, please have tea." Wu Yi accepted After drinking tea, he said, "Thank you, Boss Sha, for taking care of me." Chongfu asked tentatively, "No, how many goods do you plan to order, Boss Wu?" Wu Yi replied, "I want all the goods your bank has." Chongfu was a little overjoyed to see that Wu Yi was a big talker and a big buyer. He quickly asked his family to prepare lunch and entertain Boss Wu with good wine and food. . He shook loudly and asked: "What happened? What happened?" Yang Mei seemed to see a pool of blood. The man weakly said that was exactly what happened. After Li Wei became the personal scribe, Shandong officials of all sizes must inform Li Wei first if they want to deal with E Dongchang. Naturally, Li Wei accepted their tribute money unceremoniously, but he was very measured and Huang Lanjie said: "My nephew has only read poetry and books since he was a child. How can he farm? In these years, I have relied entirely on my wife to grow vegetables and collect food." I can make a living by selling the soles. For the sake of my father, please find a way for my nephew. "Every time, I only take ten percent, and every few months, someone always comes to Li Wei's room secretly to get the money:" I forgot my clothes, they contain my salary that I just paid today!" Someone started to call 120 for emergency treatment, but the man stopped breathing after a while. The man named Liang climbed up the stairs with a flashlight and saw Yangmei who was terrified. He immediately said as if he had a savior: "What is looking for clothes? Is this looking for clothes?" He shined the light on Yangmei and shouted loudly to the people below. Then let Yang Mei prove that he died after climbing up the ladder and falling. Yangmei cried in fright. Yang Mei suddenly wanted to go home, but at this time the emperor of the mountain village naturally agreed. As long as it was not a rebellion, everything would be easy to talk about and discuss based on his great achievements. Later, when Yang Yan, the ancestor, was about to die, he asked Liu Bowen to help him find a good cemetery, hoping to ensure that his descendants would be rich! The mountain fog is still shrouding the mountains. Her parents haven't woken up from the fog yet, and she can't go home.

Go home