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Humor in expressing myopia

Here are some humorous words to express myopia:

1 My eyesight is not very good. Sometimes I hold my mobile phone far away and read subtitles like a bee.

When I saw the blurred world, I realized that I was nearsighted. But when I saw myself in the mirror, I realized that I might be farsighted.

If you ask me why I am nearsighted, I can only tell you that when I was looking for beautiful women in the crowd, I accidentally aimed at all the people.