Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Episode 6 (1)
Episode 6 (1)
At night, Nie secretly came to Wei Wuxian's residence with a bag of peanuts, because Wei Wuxian told him that Wei Wuxian quietly brought back a famous wine son of heaven in Gusu on his way back from the waterway.
Eating peanuts and smiling at the emperor is very pleasant.
Nie Huaisang: "Brother Wei, your wine is really good."
Wei proudly said, "Of course, in Gusu, you have to drink this kind of laughter. The smell is light, the entrance is mellow, clear but not strong, alcohol but not evil. " Say that finish, have another drink when you are satisfied.
Jiang Cheng disagreed: "Drink it, just like people."
Nie Huaisang disagreed: "Brother Jiang, I think what Brother Wei said is very good. Since ancient times, wine is better than color. Come on, let's ... "clink glasses with Wei Wuxian, which is very comfortable.
Jiang Cheng curled his lips: "In that case, just smell the wine and find a fairy couple."
Wei Wuxian immediately said, "If there is wine, that's fine."
Jiang Cheng almost spit out a mouthful of wine: "How can people in Gusulan's family stand you?"
Wei Wuxian retorted: "What happened to me? By your standards, no one can stand you! "
Nie Huaisang immediately asked curiously, "Brother Wei, what standard?"
Jiang glared at Wei Wuwei: "Wei Wuwei, don't you dare say it!"
Wei Wuxian suddenly said, "Beauty is born with beauty."
Jiang Chengqi suddenly stood up: "You! Wei Wuwei! "
Wei got up without envy and immediately ran behind Nie Huaisang: "Gentle, virtuous and diligent!"
Jiang listened anxiously, and immediately went to catch Wei Wuxianwa, trying to stop him.
Wei Wuxian said as he ran, "Besides, there is an innocent family background. Don't talk too much and don't speak loudly. There are also repairs that cannot be too high, and spending money cannot be too shameful. "
Several people were pulling, and the door suddenly opened. Lan forgot to keep a straight face and came in. He looked at the three people on the bed and said, "What are you doing?"
The three of them sat on the bed like children who had done something wrong. You look at me, I look at you, and they don't talk.
Blue forget machine at the sight of this, his face slightly cold.
Wei Wuxian came over and said, "It's better to come early. Since you're here, why don't we sit down and have a drink and talk it over? "
Blue coldly forgot the machine and said, "How should I know through such a cloudy day?"? , no alcohol. "
Wei Wuxian: "Oh, Lan Zhan, don't be so old-fashioned. Today, everyone goes to the river to celebrate! " As he spoke, he carefully pulled Lan Zhan's sleeve. "Let's celebrate!"
Blue forget the machine, look at Wei Wuxian's hand. Wei Wuxian can only let go quickly.
Lan forgot the machine and said, "You guys, take the blame for the soup."
Wei Wu paused and pretended not to know this question for a moment: "What hall?" Also look at Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng.
Nie Huaisang looked at Jiang Cheng and said, "What hall? What? " At some point, they got drunk in bed.
Wei Wuxian said helplessly, "Look at Lan Zhan, they are too drunk to walk. Otherwise, you'd better sit down with me and we'll have a drink and have a good talk. "
Blue forget machine deadpan turned and walked out.
Wei Wuxian immediately stepped forward: "Lan Zhan!"
Lan Zhan said coldly, "If you don't go, I'll ask someone to invite you."
Smell speech, Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng instantly got up and pretended to vomit and hurried out, then disappeared instantly. Wei Wuxian also immediately took out a charm and put it on the back of Blue Forgetting Machine when Blue Forgetting Machine was not paying attention.
Wei walked to the front of the blue forget machine without envy, dangling in front of the blue forget machine with his hand, "LanZhan! Blue exhibition! Lan Zhan! "
After a long phone call, Lan forgot the phone number and didn't respond. Wei Wuxian quickly closed the door, went to the table and poured a glass of wine: "Lan Zhan, come here, sit down and drink this wine."
Blue forget machine mechanical turn, walked to the table, landed and sat down, took the Wei Wu county handed me the wine to drink off.
Wei Wuxian: "I didn't lie to you, did I? Is it delicious? "
Blue forget machine deadpan, no response.
Wei Wuxian pouted and shook his hand in front of Lan Forgot: "Lan Zhan, are you so cheeky?" It's so thick that it can't even penetrate red. "
Blue forgot the machine? Suddenly knocked on the table, listening to the sound, Wei Wuxian felt a pain.
Wei Wu was shocked and quickly reached out and pushed his head: "Lan Zhan?"
LanZhan didn't respond, even in wei slightly envy, slanting to one side!
Wei envy, this is obviously drunk, "ah? Lan Zhan, why don't you go back to your bedroom to sleep? Don't sleep with me. " Finally, Wei Wuxian had to help Lan forget the bed.
Wei Wuxian sat on the edge of the bed, watching the drunken Lan Forgot the machine and the hip flask in his hand. "I didn't expect Laner's son, who is usually high above me, to fall into my hands." After drinking a mouthful of wine, a bad idea came out. Wei Wuxian gathered in front of Lan and forgot: "Lan Er, it's Brother Wei!" "
Lan forgot the machine and called out, "Viagra!"
Wei Wuxian smiled happily when he heard this. Then he saw Lan forget the extra machine and reached out to help him straighten up.
Blue forgot the machine and turned away. "What's the matter?"
Wei Wuxian: "You reacted, and your forehead was crooked."
Blue forgot the machine and exclaimed, "What's the matter?" I immediately sat up and began to adjust myself. After adjustment and adjustment, it was still crooked.
Wei Wuxian reached out and said, "Let me help you!"
Lan forgot to clap her hands before she got close: "Go away!" " "
It's been a long time.
Wei Wuxian saw it: "It's crooked, or crooked!" I had to reach out to help him again, and was once again waved away by the blue forgetting machine.
Blue forgot the machine and said impatiently, "Why?"
Wei Wu envy injustice, said: "I just help you adjust your forehead. Why are you so nervous? "
Lan forgot the machine and said slowly, "it is very important to write off the amount." How can non-parents and wives and children touch! "
Wei Wuxian drank the wine in his mouth and sprayed it out: "Wife?"
Lan forgot to look at him coldly: "What are you laughing at?"
Wei Wuxian said, "I laugh at the Youlan family. There are so many rules and affectations. Which woman dares to marry you? Be a bachelor for life! "
Blue forgot the machine and said gloomily, "All right!"
Wei Wuxian was a little surprised to hear this: "I said, are you blue family members so boring?" Your father is as boring as you, so is your mother! "
"I don't have a mother," Lan forgot the machine lightly.
Wei Wuxian retorted: "How can there be no mother? Did you jump out of a crack in the stone? " Say that finish, he seems to think of something. "When I was four years old, my parents died. It's time to remember, but in retrospect, I only remember the scene of being chased by wild dogs, and I don't remember what my parents looked like. I only remember a scene where my mother helped me ride a donkey and my father walked in front. My mother seemed to tell a joke, and then my father laughed. " Wei Wuxian sighed lightly, putting aside those unpleasant past events. "Lanzhan, come, I respect you with this glass of wine! No, no, it should be us! We are both unhappy-forever old, drinking today, getting drunk tomorrow! Come on, do it! "
Good morning, blue room!
Lan Xichen poured a cup of tea and handed it to Lan Qiren: "Uncle has worked hard these days. What will the conversation be like? "
Lan Qiren said: "When I met Nie this time, as expected, something similar happened in Qinghe. These people also have red cracks in their necks. "
Lan Xichen frowned and asked, "Did they find any clues?"
LanQiRen faint way: "Nie Zhu always long in exploration! How can I tell in such a cloudy sky? Ok? "
Lan Xichen replied: "Nowadays, everyone in the Wen family is quiet, but Biling Lake has a sense of alienation."
Lan Qiren: "Be careful what you say!"
Lan Xichen: "I was just about to make it clear to my uncle! A few days ago, I took some disciples to Biling Lake to get rid of it. I found that all the water, plants and monsters in the lake were alienated, forming an abyss like water. This has never happened before. At that time, Wei Gongzi speculated that this might be related to the ecstasy. "
Lan Qiren was surprised: "Wei Gongzi? Wei Wuwei? "
He said, "It is Jiang's great disciple."
Lan Qiren snorted coldly, and then asked, "This Wei Wu County is a Tibetan settlement ..."
Lan Xichen replied: "It is the son of Wei Changze, who has scattered people."
Lan Qiren knows very well: "No wonder this Wei Wuxian has so many ghosts, just like his mother!"
Lan Xichen giggled, but she was afraid that her uncle would find that she could only show her smile by raising her cup and drinking tea.
"Report!"
A disciple came in: "Teacher Lan, Ze Wujun!"
Lan Xichen asked, "What is it?"
Disciple said: "Wei Wuxian was caught drinking secretly with several children who were listening to the class."
Lan Xichen slightly low head, corners of the mouth up with a little smile.
Disciple went on to say, "Second Childe is among them!"
Lan Xichen was surprised: "Forgot that the machine was in it?"
Lan Qiren struck the table: "How presumptuous!"
……
Wei Wuxian was awakened by a knock at the door. Last night, he was in a flurry, and he saw all sorts of things on the table. At this moment, he heard a noise, turned around and saw that Lan had forgotten his landline and rolled over from the bed to the ground, still sleeping soundly.
Wei Wuxian couldn't help laughing secretly when he looked at Lan's embarrassment of forgetting the machine, which was quite different from the usual high cold.
But there has been a knock at the door outside, and Wei Wuxian can only wake Lan to forget the machine.
……
Outside the discipline hall, LanQiRen and Lan Xichen were already waiting there. Lan forgot his machine and ran quickly. He knelt down crisply and said, "Uncle, brother, please be severely punished!" "
Wei Wuxian also rushed over: "Master, Master Lan, it is against the rules of the Lan family to steal wine, but Lan Zhan, he is ..."
Lan Qiren interrupted him and shouted, "Nonsense! Wei is not jealous. You haven't closed the door yet, but you're causing trouble again. What do you want to stir? How do I know through these clouds? Before you give up? You don't think your mother is dark ... "
Wei Wuxian heard him mention his current name: "Sir, do you know my mother?"
LanQiRen didn't speak!
Wei was anxious: "Master!"
Lan Qiren: "Shut up!"
Lan Xichen chimed in at the right time and said, "Forget the machine. Wei Gongzi is not a blue man, but you know it."
Blue forgot the machine and said, "Forgetting the machine makes mistakes!"
Wei Wuxian immediately said, "Zewujun, Zewujun, it's me. I took Lan Zhan to drink. He is not voluntary. "
Lan forgot the machine and still insisted: "If you forget the machine, you will be severely punished."
Wei Wuxian looked at Lan Forgetting Machine kneeling on one side in disbelief: "How can you find your own punishment?"
Lan Qiren said, "Wei Ying, the leader, will be fined 300, Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian will be fined at the same time, and the rest will be fined 50 each as a sign of punishment!"
Wei Wuxian was shocked: "Three or three hundred times? Do I still have a dream with such a long ruler? "
Lan Qiren did not give any chance to refute: "Fight!"
Under the command of Lan Qiren, Lan's disciples raised their rulers and began to fight.
When the ruler came down, Wei Wuxian almost fell to the ground. When he saw that Lan had forgotten the machine and landed on his knees, the ruler fell on him in time. He didn't say a word, and his body never shook. In a rage, he gradually resisted.
After the penalty, Jiang came over to help Wei Wuxian out: "A Cheng, you have always been very strict with Ah Xian. Why did you fool around together last night? "
Jiang Cheng was embarrassed and said, "Sister, don't mention it. Don't tell my parents that I got fifty feet after returning to Yunmeng! "
Wei Wuxian immediately said, "Then I got three hundred rulers, so don't mention it."
Jiang Cheng glared at him: "It's because of you!"
Wei Wuxian refused to accept: "No one forced you to drink that day?"
Jiang left in boredom and said, "Well, are you two going to quarrel?"
Wei Wuxian began to coquetry again; "Sister, I ache all over!"
Jiang tired from the side: "This is a lesson for you, please bear it first!" " After class, I'll cook some angelica soup for you. "
Wei Wuxian said, "Sister, I need to eat more meat for this injury."
Jiang Cheng went on to say, "It would be better if there were stewed mutton with angelica."
Jiang was spoiled and said, "You two ..."
From a distance, I saw Lan Xichen coming towards them. After several people saluted, Wei Wuxian whispered, "Ze Wu Jun, did I violate the house rules again?"
Lan Xichen said with a smile, "Yesterday, you went a little too far, but your uncle was angry, and your punishment was a little heavier. That ruler is extremely heavy, and the injury on your back may not be cured in ten days and a half. "
Wei Wuxian was surprised: "Ah? It will take me ten days and a half to recover from this injury? "
Lan Xichen said: "I will take you to the healing place, and you will recover faster, so as not to affect your studies!"
Jiang reluctantly left: "Thank you for your concern."
Lan Xichen nodded, ready to leave.
Wei Wuxian stopped him: "Ze Wujun, my mother?"
Lan Xichen said, "Oh, the scattered people in Tibet were classmates with my uncle. My uncle behaved solemnly and prudently, but he was kind to her. I can only say that he was exactly like Wei Gongzi. So don't blame Uncle Wei for being hard on you. It's really ... It's really not easy for Uncle Wei to keep a beard! "
There is a cold spring in the back hill. How can I know through these clouds? This is a holy place for treatment, behind a bamboo forest.
Wei envy far see blue forget machine is healing in the water, "LanZhan! Lan Zhan! "
Lan Forgot Machine quickly put on his clothes when he heard the voice of Wei Wuxian and when he ran very fast.
Wei Wuxian ran over and leaned against a bamboo with his sword in his hands: "Lan Zhan, why didn't you tell me there was such a good place?" Is it too boring? "
Lan forgot the machine and looked at him doubtfully: "How did you get in?"
Wei Wuxian chuckled: "Ze Wujun let me in!" Say that finish, take off your boots several times and jump into the water.
"Oh, it's cold! It is really cold! It's so cold, so cold! " As he spoke, he approached Lan and forgot the plane. Wei Wuxian kept poking his arm: "It's so cold!"
Lan forgot the machine and looked at him: "Don't jump!" "
Wei Wuxian: "I know, but the water is too cold." If I don't toss, I will die of blood coagulation and stiff limbs. " Blue exhibition! "He said, while approaching the blue forgetting machine, blue forgetting machine? Took a step back.
Wei Wuxian was unhappy: "Hey, Lan Zhan, you are really a man. Ok, ok, although you are usually a little old-fashioned, pedantic and boring, in fact, I was particularly dissatisfied with you at first, but after playing twice, we are even again. I'm not jealous. I really want to make friends with people I agree with. "
Blue forgot the machine as always: "No."
Wei Wuxian said, "For you, it's not fun at all. I tell you, making friends with me has many advantages! " He began to undress.
Blue forgot to watch his movements in surprise: "What are you doing?"
Wei Wuxian took it for granted: "Take off your clothes to heal!"
Blue forgot the machine and was about to leave.
Wei Wuxian: "Don't go, don't go! Can't I take it off? Lan Zhan, have you ever been to Yunmeng? Yunmeng is very interesting. Yunmeng has a lot of delicious food. How's this? You go to Lianhuawu, I'll pick it for you, and I'll pick lotus flowers and water chestnuts for you, okay? "
Blue forgot the plane and refused: "No!"
Wei Wuxian: "OK, OK, then I have to tell you a shocking secret. There are many beautiful women in Yunmeng. "
Lan forgot her cell phone and said nothing.
Wei Wuxian seemed to hear something, turned his head, slept quietly and didn't see anything unusual.
"Lan Zhan, do you feel anything strange?" Say that finish, he followed the voice turned his head. Wei Wuxian saw the water bubbling behind him. "Lan Zhan!"
With this exclamation, Wei Wuxian was dragged into the water by a powerful force.
Blue forget machine only heard a scream of Wei Wuxian, then turned around and Wei Wuxian disappeared. Blue forgot the machine and quickly picked up the dust in her hand. Just one step forward, he was dragged into the water by a strange force.
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