Jokes are a little embarrassed to say.

I just can't figure out one thing: Why did you bring a rabbit when you were in the Goddess Chang'e flying to the moon?

Later, someone said to me, "Is it too obvious to bring radishes?"

It really hit the nail on the head. ...

invalid

Accompanying the goddess to have an abortion, when I walked to the hospital door, I suddenly heard a voice behind me: "Look at yourself, from head to toe, you will be needed only for one or two days all year round."

The more I listen, the more unhappy I am. I turned around and beat the worker who installed the Christmas tree in front of the hospital.

Hit upon a plan/idea in despair.

The teacher told a true story today: the head teacher of the next class took a taxi this morning and didn't have any money with him. In a hurry, he said to the driver, "Come back to the socialist core values." Then the driver thought he was the leader of the unannounced visit, let him go trembling, confiscated all the money and said, "Please get off."

Father and daughter.

I remember when I was in junior high school, my father was the head teacher of our class. Because we usually keep a low profile at school, no one knows that we are father and daughter, so my father often eats with me, goes home together and helps me with my homework. Everyone thinks I'm having an affair with the head teacher. Once a student came home to chat with my dad, and I opened the door in my pajamas. As a result, the whole school said the next day that I was living with the head teacher!

answer the question

In class, the teacher said, "The boy with glasses in the back, get up and answer this question."

The man silently took off his glasses.

The teacher added, "The tall boy stood up and answered the question."

So the man squatted down silently.

The teacher said, "The one in the down jacket, answer the question."

So the man took off his down jacket.

The teacher said, "Just that man, you answer the question."

So the man silently took out a knife. ...

friendship between/across generations

Xiao Liu and his neighbor uncle Wang forgot to make friends. One day, on a whim, they decided to become sworn brothers, so they found a bowl filled with half a bowl of water, bit their fingers, and dropped blood into it, ready to save their blood as an alliance, but their blood melted together.

girlfriend

I said, "I don't smoke, drink, gamble, take drugs or go clubbing. Go to bed on time every day. People who get up on time. The timetable is very stable. Stop fooling around. How can you not have a girlfriend? "

Roommate: "Everything will change when you leave this prison."

hair

My wife hasn't come back for a long time. When she came back, she found a long hair on the bed and made a scene.

I insist that it's her hair, so I'll identify it. Unexpectedly, these two goods have been identified, and the test results show that the possibility that the hair is hers is 99.99%.

My wife took the test report and looked at me with a guilty face. I said to her angrily, "Please invite me to dinner and apologize!" ! Oh, call your parents and your twin sister. "

The worst thing.

Friends chatted about the worst thing, summed up as: without Ma Yun's money, Ma Yun's face grew; Without Hawking's brain, he has Hawking's disease. ...

part of

Those children who believe in Santa Claus must think that Santa Claus is so eccentric that he always gives good gifts to children of rich families.

sky

Before, when I had no money, I lived a life worse than pigs and dogs. After so many years of hard work, I finally lived a life worse than a pig and a dog! It is also very happy to think about it!

make a touch

A friend is someone who can give 200 yuan when you are in trouble! Those who can come up with two thousand dollars are brothers! Those who can afford 20,000 yuan are relatives! Parents can come up with 200 thousand! But only we can come up with 2 million or even 20 million!

This is the most touching usury advertisement I have ever seen.

Convert to Buddhism

One day, a man came to the temple and said to the old monk, "I have seen through the world of mortals and I want to become a monk!" " "

The old monk said, "Get out! You said the same thing last month. It's interesting to save a few haircuts every month! "