Live broadcast funny copywriting

1. They say you can’t have your cake and eat it too, but God is so kind to me. I can be poor and ugly at the same time, and fat and short can go hand in hand.

2. After taking pictures, don’t endlessly retouch them. Otherwise, if you look ugly in reality, everyone will know.

3. The boy took his girlfriend for a walk and passed by a restaurant. The girlfriend praised: "It smells so good!" The rich boy said very gentlemanly: "If you like it, let's walk in front of the restaurant again."

4. Look at your facial features, each No one will obey anyone who has different abilities.

5. I don’t have any outstanding advantages, but I have a very good eye for girls. All the girls I chased eventually married into good families without exception.

6. I have a colleague who is allergic to mutton. His face swells when he eats mutton, so everyone takes him with him every time he eats kebabs. The more swollen his face is, the more authentic the mutton from that restaurant is.

7. Others say that we fat people are lazy, but I am not convinced. We are just lazy when we are losing weight. Who of you can be more diligent than us when it comes to eating?

8. "What does it feel like to be short?" "Everyone can't lift their head when they see me!"

9. I worked overtime late last night, and I was already feeling a little irritable. Later, I got into a fight with a female colleague over a trivial matter, and even cursed each other! Early the next morning, while I was lovingly eating a warm breakfast with my wife, my female colleague Ding Ding sent me three sentences: We are all adults, so forget about what happened last night! Just pretend it never happened... That's too cruel. Now my wife still doesn't care about me?

10. You have to work very hard to believe that you are really powerless. come on! You are the worst.

11. In the summer, it’s too hot, and in winter, it’s too cold. When I look in the mirror, I’m ugly. If I’m not in love, I’m single. I blew out a puff of smoke: I really want to experience what it’s like to be a human being.

12. After an 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl, his friend said: "I really wronged my girl, you can be her grandfather." The old man was very dissatisfied: "I'm more It’s a grievance that her grandfather is two years younger than me, but I still have to pretend to be a grandson!”

13. Time is like a butcher’s knife, this is true for those who are beautiful, but not for those who are ugly! Yes, time has nothing to do with them.

14. I really want to sell my house and travel around the world, but my landlord doesn’t agree.

15. My daughter-in-law finally made up her mind and told me: Just shop on Taobao. I nodded approvingly. After a while, I saw her browsing Taobao again, and I said: Wife, you? The daughter-in-law said calmly: I will go to Taobao to look at the prosthetic limbs.

16. Only those who are lazy will complain about being unable to get up every morning. People who are truly motivated will call and ask for leave immediately.

17. As the saying goes, people are iron, food is steel, and beds are magnets.

18. When I was a child, my family was poor. I remember when I was in the third grade, my deskmate was a tomboy. He was so mean! Once, after she finished eating the bubble gum, it all stuck to my head. I was so angry that I started to fight with her... After the fight, she ran to a deserted place and grinned and put the bubble gum on my head. Pick it off, put it in your mouth, cry, laugh and chew...

19. When you are lonely, just open your wallet and take a look, and your heart will instantly feel balanced. At least I had a wallet, and the wallet had nothing!

20. You have to believe that there must be someone in this world who doesn’t mind all your shortcomings, including freckles and acne, flat chest and fat legs, brutal, rude and unreasonable, delicious, lazy and sloppy. This person is your love rival.

21. My grades were very poor. My teachers and classmates laughed at me, saying that I would definitely not be able to get into college and would have to move bricks in the future. I was not convinced, so I secretly made up my mind, worked hard from dawn to dusk, and studied hard. My grades improved by leaps and bounds, and I was finally admitted to college. I studied civil engineering and went to move bricks after graduation. I just want to prove to them: Moving bricks is destined, and it has nothing to do with whether you can pass the exam or not!

22. My friend cried to me and said that he often fell out of love because he was too poor.

I immediately despaired of this society: He is also poor, why can he have a girlfriend?

23. Other people’s twenties: face-slimming needles, canthus opening, nose padding, fat filling, apple muscles; my own twenties: this one is delicious, that one is delicious, hahaha, boss , have another one!

24. There are two things that others cannot take away. One is the food you eat, and the other is the dream you hide in your heart. So, as a foodie with dreams, you are invincible!