Taxi joke

The company recruits senior accountants, and there are many job seekers. There is only one interview topic: when you take a taxi through the rugged mountain road, the tire suddenly breaks down and the taxi slides to the hanging rock. What would you do? Faced with the answers from many job seekers, the examiner shook his head again and again. Just when the examiner was depressed, I saw a man in his thirties, sweating profusely, trotting in and saying he was a job seeker. The examiner showed displeasure and asked him why he was in such a hurry. The man said that he ran behind the bus to save the fare. As soon as the examiner's eyes lit up, let him answer the question at once.

The man replied without thinking: "Tell the driver to turn off the meter immediately!"

"Congratulations, you are hired, welcome to join our company!" The examiner hugged the man excitedly and talked enthusiastically.

Many people were surrounded by the millionaire's funeral. One of the young men cried her eyes out.

"Take it easy!" People who don't know the truth comfort him: "Is it your father who died?"

"No," the young man cried even harder. "Why isn't he my father ..."

Serina Liu Jr. is very lucky. She recently found a girlfriend who is not only gentle and beautiful, but also ingenious. No, I personally knitted a beautiful cardigan for Xiao Liu the other day.

Xiao Liu is so beautiful that she wears it all the time in the office, and her arrogance is very arrogant. But it didn't last long. Within a week, I saw Xiao Liu put on his original sweater again. Everyone is puzzled, wondering if he has an emotional crisis.

At lunch, the kind elder sister asked Xiao Liu what was going on. Little Liu Xiaoxiao said, "Nothing, but my girlfriend knitted another one for her dog with the leftover wool, so when I went out to walk the dog, someone always pointed and said,' Look, that couple's shirt!'" " "

A pair of fashionable young men and women walked into a newspaper office arm in arm. The young man pointed to a popular flower and said to the clerk, "buy a popular flower." The clerk smiled at him and handed it to him. Next to the young woman took off the frog mirror, took a look at the title of the magazine and asked; "Why is there more verticality in this opening?" The young man replied, "Is this the art of calligraphy?" "Oh." The young woman nodded.

One day, a man walked into a bar and shouted, "Two glasses of wine!" " "

The waiter said, "why do you want two cups, sir?"

The man said, "One is mine and the other is my friend's. He is very ill and has been admitted to the hospital. I will drink for him. "

The next day, he walked into the bar again and said, "Have a drink!" " "

The waiter said with concern, "Is your friend dead?"

The man was furious: "Nonsense!"

The waiter said, "Why is there only one cup?"

The man said, "Because I quit drinking ..."

A clerk wrote on the blackboard the words "It's on sale now". A customer next to him said, "Comrade, you wrote' zero' in retail." The salesman glared at the customer and said, "Come on, there is a vertical knife next to the word' no'!"

Teacher: "Smoking is forbidden in school. Why do you smoke? "

Student: "Hey, it's really depressing that the motherland is not unified."

Son: "Dad, what is the law?"

Father: "The law is the lawyer of France."

Son: "So what is legal blindness?"

Father: "That's the blind man in France, of course."

Katja went to Rita's house as a guest. She felt very strange when she saw Rita cooking in the kitchen in an apron.

"What's the matter, did you cook by yourself?"

"Now I have to cook by myself."

"Why? Where is your maid? "

"She is married and now she is the hostess."

"Really? Who did you marry? "

"Come with me."

"I got a raise, but I don't know what to do. If I don't tell my wife about it, she will definitely say that I won't get a raise because I am an idiot. "

"Then tell her!"

"No, I'm not that stupid!"

Jane Doe, a dissolute by nature, had an affair with several men in his early twenties. I soon found myself pregnant and gave birth to a son. But what's the name? She doesn't know which man she was born with. I had to go to the learned old monk on the opposite mountain. She told the old monk that the three best men with her at ordinary times are Gao * *, Sun * * and Chen * *. The old monk thought for a while and said, "Guo Chunhai". All right! How's it going? Mary wants to know. Why is it called this name? The old monk said, "Gao Tou, grandson, Chen Bian. Isn't it (Guo)? Three days, isn't it (spring)? One drop per person, isn't it (sea)? "

Classmate A: "Why are you running so fast at school?"

Classmate B: "Because I have a bad memory."

Classmate A: "What does this memory have to do?"

Classmate B: "I just recited a text at home, and I am worried that I will forget the text after a long delay on the road."

In order to cultivate the baby's artistic accomplishment, his father took him to the concert hall to enjoy the violin concert.

One hour, two hours passed, and the performers on the stage were still performing. ...

Finally, the baby really had enough. He asked loudly, "Dad! When can he saw that wooden box? "

Dad fainted.

On a summer night of thunder and lightning and heavy rain, a young mother put her little boy to bed. Just as she was about to turn off the light, the child asked in a trembling voice, "Mom, can you sleep here with me tonight?"

The mother smiled and hugged her son, comforted him for a while, and replied, "No, dear, mom is going to sleep in dad's room."

The child fell silent. After a while, he trembled and scolded, "That bold boy."

One day, Xiao Wang was watching TV with his wife. There is a report on TV: "... According to the survey, 70% of men want to have an extramarital affair ..."

Xiao Wang quickly explained to his wife, "I am there 30%!" "

As soon as the voice fell, the TV continued to report: "... and the other 30% want to have multiple extramarital affairs ..."

In the Soviet Union, a man came to a bar. ...

Man: A bottle of Volga!

Attendant: 10 ruble.

Man: Last time I was here, it was 5 rubles. Why ...?

Attendant: Volga is 5 rubles, and the other 5 rubles are the Party's revolutionary fund.

The man reluctantly took out 10 rubles and handed it to the waiter. Strangely, the waiter gave him another 5 rubles.

Man: How did you find 5 roubles again?

Attendant: All the wine is sold out.

Lao Shen was forced by his wife to go to a photo studio and took a photo of the couple.

After aiming at the camera, the photographer said to Lao Shen, "Sir! You must have a smile on your face. "

Lao Shen looked at his wife and said, "Would you please go away for two minutes?"

A boy asked his favorite girl to go up the mountain to see the night scene. There are thousands of lights, which are very beautiful. At this time, a cool breeze blew. The man bowed his head and asked, "Are you cold?"

Girls think he is so considerate! And replied: "Not cold! Thank you! "

The boy said, "then can you take off your coat and give it to me?" I am so cold! " "

One bureau chief especially likes the number "8" and wants to do everything possible to get the number "8" at the end of the phone number and car license plate.

Who knows, one day the bureau moved to a high-rise office building. The secretary specially won the Chaoyang room on the eighth floor for the director, but the director said that he would move to Room 7 anyway. So it was a good throw.

The director is puzzled by this. Later, I came to the director's house to deliver something, and the director's wife just pointed out the maze: "There is a saying in the idiom' seven ups and eight downs', and the office on the eighth floor is too unlucky!"

A male college student went to the school's boiling water room to turn on the water, only to find that it was full of girls. He went in high spirits and stood smartly in a row. It's the boy's turn to fetch water. Unexpectedly, boiling water suddenly spilled out, and his hands were soaked with water. That hurts. In order to keep his manners, he gritted his teeth and pretended nothing. A beautiful girl beside him asked with concern, "Are you all right?"

The boy was moved and said, "Nothing!"

Hearing this, the girl turned to the girl behind her and said, "What a nuisance, the water didn't boil again today!" " "