Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Addendum to the Opium War: The heroic and heartless Cantonese, the British army also fell in their hands.
Addendum to the Opium War: The heroic and heartless Cantonese, the British army also fell in their hands.
Cantonese people have many characteristics, the most famous of which is probably "aggressive". According to historical records, as early as the Qin and Han Dynasties, Cantonese people liked to criticize each other. "And" tattoo ",engraved on the skin, Qinglong White Tiger, looks scary. Later, even Liu Bang, who had never been to South Vietnam, commented on Zhao Tuo, king of South Vietnam, saying that Cantonese used to like to attack each other. After Zhao Tuo went, it was much better to educate them with poetry etiquette. However, aggressive personality traits have penetrated into the bone marrow and embedded the genes of Cantonese people. From the Qin and Han Dynasties to the Qing Dynasty, there were many large-scale clan struggles, with numerous casualties. The book of the Qing Dynasty summed up the seven characteristics of Guangdong folk customs: being fond of fighting, having a good reputation, being an official, being good at wealth and goods, praying for blessings, keeping concubines and having many men. Fighting ranks first. In order to win the duel, Cantonese people studied the duel skills assiduously, thus creating tough features such as Nanquan, Hongquan, Tiexian Boxing, Wing Chun Boxing, Zhou Jia Boxing, Cai Jia Boxing, Lijiaquan, Buddhism Boxing and Cailifo Boxing ... This once made the arrogant British suffer. The Englishman in Bruce Lee stirred up a hornet's nest. In the First Opium War, the British army relied on "building a strong ship and sharpening guns" to fight all the way from Humen in the Pearl River Estuary to Guangzhou. The Qing army fled, and Guan Tianpei, the prefect of Guangdong Navy in Qing Dynasty, died. In this process, the people of South Guangdong became his melon-eating masses, watching the excitement on both sides of the Pearl River and cheering from time to time, which was more lively than the New Year. The British army occupied the Fangbao in the north of Guangzhou, commanding and overlooking Guangzhou. Only when the British leader Yi Law gave the order, would they shell the walls of Guangzhou. The Commander-in-Chief of the British Army was lying in Gu Wu, holding a long knife and standing on a high square battery overlooking the city at the foot, which was meaningful. Everything went well this time, but what about the 5000-year-old empire? Not vulnerable! He seemed to see the picture of himself returning home in triumph with these 5000 soldiers, and the Queen of England promoted herself to a knight! But he forgot one thing! Before sending troops to the expedition, his boss emphasized one point: Your visit is only for the Qing Dynasty, so don't provoke the people in Guangzhou! It's a pity that his soldiers still stirred up a hornet's nest because of lax constraints! A group of Indian black mercenaries ran near Sanyuanli and molested the wife of vegetable farmer Wei Shaoguang. Wei Shaoguang summoned them, killed eight people and threw their bodies into the cesspit. In order to prevent the British from retaliating, the news spread quickly. People from Huadu, Conghua, Zengcheng, Nanhai and Panyu rushed to help with hoes, kitchen knives and forks, and 25,000 people gathered in 12 hours. They agreed that "the flag goes in and the flag goes out, and people return, and there is no complaint about killing." Sanyuanli incident broke out! It is said that many villagers who participated in the Sanyuanli Anti-British Movement were martial arts practitioners of Cai Lifo and Hong Quan. During the battle, Guangdong people killed British troops 103 and wounded 103 with guns. Although the Cantonese also sacrificed 22 people, it was a brilliant achievement compared with the defeated Qing army. 1841May 3 1 day, under the mediation of Yu Chunbao, the Guangzhou magistrate, the Guangdong talents who surrounded the British army reluctantly dispersed, and the British commander Wo Guwu and his exhausted soldiers withdrew from Guangzhou in great chaos. The arrogant British army was completely humiliated. Not long after, I don't know where the news came from, and the British army wanted to retaliate against the villagers. So, at the gate of the thirteen lines where the British came in and out, I don't know who posted a "big-character poster" insulting the British people, "Make an appointment to fight again." The British are afraid. On June 5, they drafted a note, threatening Qing * * *. If they don't stop the villagers from attacking the British, they will return to China and invite more British troops to destroy the villagers. At that time, the Qing dynasty had reached an armistice agreement with the British in Guangzhou, and any demands on the British could only be passive. This note quickly caught the attention of Cantonese people. They think that the British can't beat themselves, but can only bully the timid Qing * * *, filled with indignation. So, they decided to challenge the British, and asked the scholars to write a long article "The Declaration of the People of Guangdong to Tell British Foreign Soldiers", which was tit for tat. Sanyuanli Ancient Temple: How the Cantonese Teach the British "All Guangdong Rightists' Warfare to Britain" fully shows the brave and ruthless character of the Cantonese, with the following excerpts and comments. ""loyalty to the country, righteousness cantonese, I told the dog sheep, they are against foreigners. Charles learned from the British, and he was born with a wolf nature and strong robbery, that is, the party of the Japanese in the former Ming Dynasty. Our Chinese dynasty once destroyed you, consolidated all the countries in the Atlantic, and asked my emperor to allow you to trade. My emperor embodies the virtue of heaven and earth and allows you to trade for the livestock state. Comments: In the eyes of Cantonese people, Britain is ugly, unlike people, like animals, and it is the same kind of people as the Japanese in the Ming Dynasty. We do foreign trade in China not because we lack food and clothing, but because we sympathize with them, so we allow them to make a living. The Great Qing Dynasty was vast in territory and abundant in natural resources, self-sufficient, and its GDP accounted for 30% of the world at that time. It has long been the largest economy in the world. In fact, it can live well without trade. " "I'm not greedy, what knowledge do you have? The greed for profit is like the greed of animals for food. I don't know the statutes and the truth, but I sincerely look at myself in the mirror. What's the difference between my appearance and an animal? I am just a talking animal. I don't know loyalty and filial piety, and I don't know shame. Comment: Attacking the appearance of the British people is nothing more than the fact that the British people are covered in hair, have not fully evolved, have no proper limit, a sense of justice and a sense of shame. They are just talking animals. In ancient times, it was not only the Qing Dynasty but also the common people who despised "barbarians". Although I have tweed feathers, how can I knit without my silk? Although there is lace ghost silver, how can I cast white lead without me? The rest is all about learning from my Chinese statutes, and all kinds of Chinese herbal medicines, such as tea and rhubarb, are all things that dogs help to save their lives. If I don't give them to China, where will your life be? Instead of repaying China's kindness, they want to retaliate against me, use opium to harm my people and deceive me. Our livestock country won't eat it, so why should we poison China? Comments: The rhubarb here is a kind of medicinal material. At that time, it was generally believed that English people ate beef and mutton pies, which were dry and difficult to digest, and needed tea and rhubarb to relieve constipation. Without these two things, they will die of stagflation. Even Lin Zexu, an imperial envoy who opened his eyes to see the world, thought so. " If tea and rhubarb are indispensable to foreign countries, how can foreigners make a living if China benefits from them regardless of their harm? ""So it was forbidden to trade tea with Britain later, and economic sanctions were imposed, which made a big joke. Our heaven is always kind, and we can't bear to make vicious things. Just like our animal husbandry country specializes in grabbing for a living, so ships are strong, artillery fire is fierce, and rockets are strong. Besides these three things, what can you do? I have always been kind, and I don't have the heart to make such poison to hurt you. If you make it cruelly, why don't you worry about killing all your animals, don't know how to measure yourself, and pretend to be a powerful beam? "Comment: It's not that Qing couldn't build a strong ship and a powerful gun, but that it was too vicious for you. You are the animals that make this stuff. Indeed, this sentence is ridiculous at first glance, but it makes sense when you think about it. The extroversion of westerners' economy has led to the strong aggression of westerners, and most of the killing weapons were first invented by westerners. Although the fortress was occupied the day before yesterday, the rockets and other things used were useless. It can be seen that your animals are also incompetent. Hundreds of villages fought bravely at the same time to destroy your livestock. If you can, you shouldn't turn to Guangfu to persuade our just people to stop fighting. Today, the righteous in every village spare your lives, but you are arrogant. This is not a sign. " Comments: The villagers didn't have enough fun in Sanyuanli. And showed off my ability to intimidate me. I'm sorry, we already know your tactics. We both talk about tactics, whether it's fighting you on land, fighting, riding or hiking. If you fight with heavy artillery, you will get several catties of artillery, and we will also get several catties of artillery. Look who's got heavy gunfire. The remaining spears, swords and other things can also be played twice to see who wins. If there is a water war, we will withdraw the boat from Humen and wait for me for a hundred days, then we will build another boat to fight the sea outside you. I blindly spend money on threats, that is, I can count my livestock. Comments: This cow is boasting. The notice says that everyone in Guangdong is proficient in land warfare, positional warfare, horse warfare and foot warfare. We don't need the help of the Qing army, so let us ordinary people fight against your British army, which fully shows the "aggressive" character of Cantonese people. I don't know how the Qing army led by Daoguang's nephew Yishan will feel when he sees this scene. China was merciful and magnanimous in the Opium War and naval battle, and I didn't have the heart to punish them immediately. Ministers are virtuous gentlemen. All officials are brave and kind, not really incompetent. It's a pity that I'm as ignorant as animals. Why would anyone fight with an animal? So, I am crazy. Comments: "China" refers to Daoguang; "General" refers to the defeated Yishan. He is the nephew of the emperor. "Ministers" refer to officials of all sizes in the Opium War; "All officials are brave" refers to the Qing army. On the surface, it is ironic to defend the incompetence of the Qing dynasty. ""Today we don't need officers and men, but we villagers are heartless. I have to fight my livestock because I hurt my country and my husband and wife. Now I have thousands of businessmen in Guangdong, and the rich in big villages help the soldiers in small villages. There are also volunteers who donate money to prepare equipment, and millions of people who are familiar with water and soil. I long to be the enemy, and I hate it. If you don't destroy all your animals, you will never be born. """if you don't quit Humen early, or there are thousands of wonderful ways to burn ships. Burn out your sails and never come back. Not only the animals on board, but also the whole line was burnt out. And destroy dog state. My righteous men, regardless of sex, each pay ten pence, which is more than enough to build a ship, repair combat equipment and destroy you. We just people, thanks to China's support for 200 years, will not be human unless we wipe out the British and foreigners today. Comments: Since the Qing Dynasty entered the customs, due to foreign status, the inferiority complex was very serious, and * * * did not regard himself as a Qing people. During the Opium War, I was crowded by the Pearl River to watch the excitement, which hurt Qing. Finally, someone said, "I was raised by China for 200 years. "The emperor saw this sentence, afraid he was moved. He also said, "If the British and foreigners are not eliminated today, they will not be human. "Cantonese people seem to regard themselves as the protectors of the Qing Dynasty." "Besides, now also don't have to disturb the gods, is to use our righteous people is enough, destroy all your animals, take it out on the gods, take it out on ghosts and gods, pay your own coins without officers and soldiers and national currency, kill all your pigs and dogs, in order to eliminate the vicious hatred of our villages and towns. "Comment: We don't need to disturb the gods, officers and soldiers, and the state doesn't need to pay for it. We Guangdong people pay for it ourselves, which is more than enough to destroy you. It fully embodies the confidence of Guangdong people in their own strength. Special advance instructions. Er Yifa, Marison, Dong Didan, etc. Traitors know all people who have no father and no king. It should be elegant. Because animals can't read, they all use rude words. A short message. Animals should repent and surrender urgently. Tie your face and get on your knees. Ordinary respectively from the first. Can't bear all the punishment. What will you regret if you delay any longer? Special instructions. Comment: This article is full of abuse, which is explained here. It should have been written in a gentle way, but gentle language should not be used when dealing with animals. The mood of Cantonese people can be seen. It is said that Bao of the Qing Dynasty read the gauntlet at that time, praised it as easy to understand and scolded it happily. Daoguang was not angry with the cynicism in his election campaign, but felt that the people's hearts could be won, and rewarded He Yucheng, the organizer of the Sanyuanli Anti-British War, with "six military achievements". Opium War Oil Painting British people want to go to town, no way! After the Sanyuanli incident, although the Guangdong people won a partial victory, they could not reverse the overall situation. 1842, China and Britain signed the treaty of nanking, and the Qing Dynasty was forced to "trade with five ports", namely "Guangzhou, Xiamen, Fuzhou, Ningbo and Shanghai". The other four ports can all live in the city according to the requirements of the treaty, and the British people can freely enter and leave the city. However, in Guangzhou, because Cantonese people are worried that the British will disturb the social order after entering the city and rise up to resist, the British are also afraid of provoking public anger again. As before the Opium War, they only lived in the vicinity of Shisanhang and could not freely enter and leave Guangzhou according to the treaty. After Davis became Hong Kong Governor and Minister to China, he asked Jian Ying, Governor of Guangdong and Guangxi, to be stationed in Guangzhou. Senior citizens are in a dilemma, disagree, and obviously violate the contract, and the British can't explain it clearly; Agreed. You can't explain it to the people of Guangdong. Later, Jane simply threatened the British with Cantonese. During the period from 1844 to 10/0, he repeatedly replied to the letter of asylum, saying that "it's not that I have different opinions on entering the city", "there is no such thing as strong will, unbreakable" and "if the situation forces me, I'm afraid of making trouble". The Governor of Guangdong and Guangxi begged Britain to give him time. He persuaded the Cantonese and went to town. Of course, this is a delay, and it is impossible for him to persuade Cantonese people to agree to enter the city. 1845 10, Davis invited a senior citizen to Hong Kong and threatened him face to face: if he was not allowed to enter the city again, Britain would "have no choice but to use military force". Senior citizens caught in the middle, can't, so we have to let out the wind that * * * may let the British army into the city, and use the prestige of Cantonese people in Sanyuanli to put pressure on the British army again. Sure enough, when China and Britain signed the treaty of nanking, Guangdong people posted notices everywhere after hearing the news, calling on the villagers to prepare for another war: "The ugly ones will kill at home, and the nest will burn outside, and we will work together to eradicate the grass to show justice and appeal to the public." Davis was frightened by the toughness of Cantonese and retreated to Hong Kong. The attempt to enter the city still failed. 1April 3, 847, Davis didn't give up. He once again asked to enter the city and broke the warship into the Pearl River. Jianying quickly mediated and made a secret appointment with the British side to open Guangzhou two years later, and the British warships withdrew. Senior citizen is playing his own wishful thinking: both sides of Britain's entry into the city are not pleasing, and he has made a big fuss about it. Anyway, I quit after two years. 1April 849, when the secret agreement expired, the British minister requested to enter the city according to the contract. At that time, the veteran minister had been transferred from Guangzhou, and Xu, who succeeded the governor of Guangdong and Guangxi, still didn't have the courage to carry out the secret agreement. The British threatened to use force to sail the warship into the Pearl River again. As a result, a spectacular scene appeared in Guangdong. 65438+ ten thousand people gathered on both sides of the Pearl River. Facing the British warships in the Pearl River, they raised their hands and shouted * * *, and their voice was Megatron. Wen Han, the British minister, was frightened by the wave of * * *, so he had to give up his request to enter the city again, and the matter of entering the city finally went away. "Aggressive" Cantonese finally won a sigh of relief for us China people.
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