What do you think of "incompetent parents often vent their grievances on their children"?

Parents are children's teachers. You can't pass on your emotions directly or indirectly to your children. Especially children in the period of intellectual enlightenment. Family should be a harbor. No matter how stormy it is outside, the port should be calm.

Quality parents can basically control their emotions. Try not to bring negative emotions home. What is always given to children is warmth and positive energy. Even if there is more pain in my heart, I will go home with a piece of sunshine. If you are in a bad mood and encounter Xiong Haizi's terrible disaster, you can also control your emotions and respond rationally. Even if you are extremely angry, it is only a matter of moderate corporal punishment. Most of them are still a good policeman and a bad policeman, and finally let the children realize their mistakes and make unhappiness an episode.

Most incompetent parents can't control their emotions effectively. At present, the pressure of work and life is great, and they have not been able to alleviate the unpleasantness they encountered outside. If the child is naughty, it is easy to spread anger and resentment on the child and let the child become a punching bag for his negative emotions. In the long run, children will become extremely irritable and forward their emotions to other weak people. This is why some unfortunate incidents of abusing cats and dogs and even becoming school bullying will happen to children. So sad!

There is no place where it doesn't rain, no windless mountains, and no rivers and lakes without waves. Nine times out of ten, life is not satisfactory. Learn to face and forget, no matter whether you are knowledgeable or illiterate, no matter whether you are above or all the people are soldiers. Keep the wind and rain out of the door and let the sunshine shine at home forever!

It's not that parents don't love their children, nor that children are not sensible. It's just that parents and children lack communication, which leads to children's depression and disobedience, and parents lose their temper.

I often encounter such things, but after all, so do the elderly. As long as you are in your 30 s and 40 s and 50 s and 60 s and 70 s, you can only forgive. After all, I am old and hope my children have a good future. Just say something at ordinary times and listen carefully. Pay more attention and don't worry. I have this kind of thing at home. But I can only forgive them. Do I still hit them? Did I run away from home? Right? You know the same thing yourself.

Indeed, in life, it is often seen that some parents take it out on their children because their children are naughty or have poor grades, or even because their children are in trouble. This kind of parents lack the basic knowledge of educational psychology, which is a typical manifestation of their educational incompetence.

Then, when children have problems, how should parents calm their anger and educate their children correctly?

Understand some "outrageous" actions that tolerate children. Research shows that these actions of Xiong Haizi, who is under three years old, have been scientifically proved to have many benefits: children can learn food-related words faster and more accurately by "playing" with food; Naughty children are observant; Children who can disassemble things will find the structure of things faster and must have strong hands-on ability. Raising children is a kind of practice. You must hold your temper, face these behaviors correctly, and strive to improve your educational ability, instead of doing the opposite.

Face up to the temporary backwardness of children's study. Every child is unique, just as children of the same age have different physical abilities to engage in manual labor and different abilities to engage in mental labor. A child perceives, understands and remembers textbooks quickly, and keeps them in memory for a long time. Another child's mental work is completely different: the perception of teaching materials is slow, and knowledge is not stored in memory for a long time and is not firm. Although in the end (this is a very common thing), the achievements of the latter child in learning and intellectual development are much greater than those of the children who studied well at the beginning. A very extreme example is that some children with ADHD may have dyslexia due to individual development problems or lack of correct reading training since childhood, and they will be gradually edified, infected and corrected through fine means such as music, art, literature and art, and there are also some children with special intelligence types, for example, mathematical genius, and zero score in Chinese exam. It is necessary to adopt a special way to educate such children. If parents ignore their children's characteristics and fail to meet their own wishes, they will yell at their children and stifle their genius buds. Therefore, if the child fails in the exam, parents can't give the child a pair of boys and girls indiscriminately, which can only hurt the child's young mind and not help the child at all.

Avoid simple and rude education methods. Lack of patience with children, often beating and cursing, seems to be sawing children's immature hearts with rough sawtooth, which will leave a psychological shadow on children's life growth. Parents who want to be happy for a while have caused some serious psychological trauma to their children, and may also form family tragedies from generation to generation. CCTV 12 has a psychological talk show, which describes many cases.

Reflect on your own problems, set an example and improve your educational ability. In fact, children's problems are often rooted in their parents. Children have strong imitation ability. What kind of parents will there be? Parents are their first teachers. Parents don't like reading and play mobile phones all day, but they ask their children to love reading and study hard; Parents misbehave, but want their children to take the right path; Parents are lazy, have no strong perseverance in doing things, and have accomplished nothing all their lives, but expect their children to become talents; Isn't it a fable that parents don't honor the elderly, but hope their children will honor themselves in the future? Parents are angry with their children without looking for reasons from themselves. Is this fair to children? Parents who are childish because of their children's troubles are even more disgusting. It's easier said than done. As parents, what kind of person do you want your children to be? What kind of person do you want to be first? You must show it to your children.

Incompetent children often vent their dissatisfaction to their parents.

"Capable" parents will also vent their grievances on their children. Whether to vent your anger or not has nothing to do with being able to do it.

What do you mean by "incompetent parents"? Parents can't take it out on their children. It should be that the children bumped into them when they were in a bad mood, and the parents took it out on their children. If you are an adult, you should try to understand your parents. No matter how incompetent your parents are, they have raised you. Everyone has different abilities, and not everyone can become a capable person.

Incompetent parents are the biggest lies and deception in the world, because parents don't need exams and certificates to work. But it turns out that not everyone is suitable for being a parent. Some parents don't know how to love and respect their children, but they will only bring harm to their children naked, hurt their body and mind, and affect their character development.

Incompetent parents always show their ability by hurting their children's face in these aspects, which will only make outsiders look at jokes. Did you get shot?

Scold children in public.

In life, we often see some parents reprimanding their children loudly in public. The more people eat melons, the more heated the discussion, and the harsher the parents reprimand. I am still proudly thinking about how powerful I am as a parent and how to discipline my children. In fact, people who eat melons just watch the fun, that is, they have a mentality of watching the fun without being too big. But you know what? You step on your child's self-esteem, and the child either accumulates a lot of resentment or is numb and broken.

Feel free to reveal children's privacy

When chatting with others all day, the nanny of her neighbor's teenage son can't let her son's privacy be exposed. Others are ridiculous, she doesn't care, and her son's emotional intelligence is particularly low. Many parents don't regard their children as an independent individual at all, and think that their children have no privacy. So the child wets the bed and is punished by the teacher at school. Parents should treat them as jokes and spread them everywhere, hoping that people all over the world will know. Even trying to pry into children's privacy and secrets.

This behavior of parents is simply stabbing the child, and the child's young mind has been greatly hurt. Although children are young, they need to be respected and recognized. If parents always pry into their children's privacy casually, they will only make their children's hearts more and more closed to you, and you will become more and more alienated from them.

Restrain a child's enthusiasm

The growth and progress of children need the encouragement and support of parents. When children get grades every time, parents' encouragement will make them more motivated and passionate. However, some parents, when their children are successful and happily ask for praise, can't get their parents' sincere praise, but they don't agree, even cynically. The child's heart is soaked in a pot of cold water, which not only loses the enthusiasm for progress, but becomes more and more decadent, and the child's bright future may be ruined by you.

The child is an independent individual. If you want your child to succeed in the future, you can't do without parents' teaching. I hope all parents will strive to be qualified parents and make their children healthy physically and mentally.

No matter how bad the parents are, don't take it out on the children.

1. Parents are children's first teachers, and children will copy their parents' behavior patterns. Children learn from their parents that "my emotions can be vented on others, especially the weak." I need someone else to be responsible for my emotions. "Children who encounter unpleasant things in the future may take it out on others. He didn't learn to understand objectively and rationally, to sort out and channel his emotions. He will become a person with low emotional intelligence.

2. Parents are the closest relatives of children and the psychological support of children. Parents often take it out on their children, so they won't feel worthy of love. He will have a sense of low value. Will be more pessimistic. In order to please his parents, he may often be afraid and compromise. Such children spend too much energy on their parents, so they won't have too much energy to explore the world and grow up healthily. In the long run, this ingratiating behavior will solidify and become his ingratiating personality. Such a character hinders his growth and makes it more difficult for him to become a creative and outstanding person.

3. If parents' emotions come from behavior problems that children really need to solve. For example, children curse, hit people and play with fire. Similarly, "venting" can't solve behavior problems. Here is a reference for you: calmly state the consequences of your behavior and then deal with it coldly. Behavioral problems will gradually disappear. Because children need their parents' attention. If parents get angry and yell, children's problem behavior may be strengthened because of your concern. Praise good behavior, but ignore unsupported behavior. Children will behave more and more frequently.

Children can't tell the subject from the object. As long as there is a problem, they will think that it is caused by their own actions. In other words, as long as parents quarrel, they will think they have done something wrong. What's more, his parents take it out on him, and he will think he is wrong.

Parents have been taking pains to educate their children since they had children at home. But ... after a child makes a mistake, many parents' behaviors always hurt the child invisibly. The speaker is unintentional and the listener is intentional, which has a great psychological impact on children.

Let's take a look at four common wrong educational behaviors of parents.

First, parents quarrel in front of their children and take it out on them.

Living together for a long time, there must be contradictions between husband and wife. But quarreling in front of children is a very wrong way.

This will make the family atmosphere extremely tense. What's more, in the process of parents quarreling, they will take their children's affairs as an example to vent their anger on them, which will increase their psychological burden, produce depression, inferiority and insecurity, and seriously affect their mental health.

Second, parents are biased against their children.

So far, in many areas, there is still a phenomenon of son preference, indifference to elder sister, affection for younger brother, giving priority to eating, drinking and dressing well.

Or have two children at home. My father likes my sister, my mother likes my brother, and my parents prefer the one they like to the other. It is easy to form a misconception in children's minds that parents only care about each other and don't care about themselves.

This makes it easier for children to resent their parents and produce negative personalities such as inferiority, introversion and loneliness. Such a move is very wrong. Parents should treat their children equally. When you are old, the children will treat you like this. what do you think?

The above is my personal opinion! I hope it is useful to everyone! I also hope that children can be parents and set a good example!