Tell jokes and laugh to death.

16 jokes make you laugh your teeth off.

1. I've been fidgeting at school. I taught myself for the first time when I was a freshman. I was so depressed sitting in the classroom that I immediately ran to the aisle to smoke. Not long after I lit a cigarette, a girl from PL came over and asked me, "I'm studying by myself now! How did you get out? " I said, I'm bored by smoking, MM Which class are you in? How also ran out. PLMM pointed to our classroom and said, that class! At that time, I was so excited to say, are we in the same class? What, are you depressed? She said: well, a freshman in our class ran out from self-study and I came out to find him. I smiled, it seems that someone still can't sit still. What do you want from him? You're not his mother! MM: I can't help it I'm his head teacher! I was cheated at that time ... A minute later, I choked and said, Teacher, you look so young. ...

I went to KFC yesterday, and the people behind me looked like a couple. Seeing that they ordered a lot of food, they sat next to me. After sitting down, the girls began to eat hard, as if they were hungry for several days, while the boys chewed French fries one by one, as if they had something on their mind. Suddenly, the boy put down the French fries, leaned down and asked seriously, "Qingqing, can I chase you?" Without looking up, the girl said directly, "No!" The boy asked again, "Is it completely impossible?" The girl simply said, "Not at all!" The boy froze, looked at her straight and stayed there ... At that time, the girl was holding a chicken leg in one hand and a hamburger in the other, thinking that the boy was watching her, so she stopped eating, then looked at the boy with a bad eye and whispered, "Hmm ... can I still eat?" Everyone around me, including me, laughed out loud. The boy said helplessly, "Let's eat, let's eat …" This MM is so cute … If I don't let go, I must go after it … desperately! ! ! !

3. A brother went to the toilet and went into the ladies' room by mistake. When you go in, you find that there is no urinal, which is wrong. Fortunately, there is no one in the room. He walked out casually. When I opened the door, I met a mm who came in. Face to face with him, blushed, lowered his head and turned to drill in the men's room. ...

One day there were too many people on the bus, which was very hot and stuffy. I don't know who farted, which made the environment worse. My friend can't stand it, and I don't know who it is. I can't help it It happened that the conductor was asking, "Who didn't buy a ticket?" My friend suddenly had a plan and said loudly, "Fart didn't buy a ticket!" " Suddenly, a particularly fat woman, holding the ticket high in her hand, said loudly, "I have bought the ticket." "

The school bike is badly lost, and the new one disappears in the blink of an eye, but sometimes with luck, the lost bike will appear again every few days. One day, my roommate Xiao Jing bought a new transmission car. She proudly said to everyone, "I locked this car with the latest lock!" " "The next day, Xiao Jing came back from night lessons and looked depressed. He still holds a piece of paper in his hand, which reads: Don't be the owner here, I borrowed the car, and I'll pay you back in a few days! A few days later, the thief really returned the car. Xiao Jing is very happy, but she is worried that the car will be "borrowed" again. I bought ten big locks, locked the car tightly, and put a note on the thief: See how you "borrow"! When Xiao Jing went downstairs the next morning, she found five more locks on the car, and there was a note on the lock: See how you ride!

6. The child is very simple ... In junior high school, a boy wanted to copy a girl's homework. Afraid that others would disagree, he searched her schoolbag after she left the classroom and found a sanitary napkin. He was surprised and said, "Wow! What a big band-aid! "

This happened in my middle school. Today, it is necessary. It was an English class, and the teacher asked us to make sentences with "How …". At that time, there were daily expressions in junior high school and junior high school, such as "hello, hello". But the problem is that when we brainstorm for answers, we only hear a man in the back row say, "What an excellent root ~ ~ ~ ~" (I believe friends who have played street fighter.

8. In middle school, a classmate moved and invited everyone to his house for dinner ... lots and lots of dishes. At the dinner table, his mother stood up and said politely, "You must eat and drink enough. You're welcome. You can't waste it. Now you have moved to a new house. There are no pigs at home anyway. It's a shame to dump them.

9.h Jun and his friends enter an upscale shopping center. I took two steps after I entered the store. My friend was surprised to see him skating on the smooth marble floor. Asked him, H Jun pointed to the sign next to him while continuing to slide, and said very seriously, "Since I am here, I must abide by the rules here." The sign says, "Slide carefully".

10. A leader went to the countryside for a census and asked an old farmer: Do you know why close relatives can't get married? The old farmer replied with a simple and honest smile: Hehehe, Hehehe, the relationship is too familiar, and there is no way to start.

1 1. A sculpture was completed in the new building of a university: a young girl held a book in her left hand and a pigeon in her right hand, symbolizing harmony. Outside the school, students were publicly named, and as a result, many people's slogans coincided-reading is the best use!

12. In a literature exam, there was such a question: noun explanation: Shakespeare (Shakespeare's respectful name) A classmate answered this question: Shakespeare, a strange bird.

13. When I was in primary school, there was a text called Waterfall. In the middle, it is said that the author turned a mountain and saw a waterfall hanging in it. When one of my female classmates was reading aloud, she also said loudly: I was shocked when I climbed over this mountain. There was a rag hanging on the mountain. The whole class was stunned.

14. A brother was constipated and couldn't walk in the toilet for half a day. Just as he was going all out, he watched a buddy rush into the toilet like the wind and enter the next position. There was a real storm as soon as he came in. The brother said enviously to his buddy, I envy you. The buddy said, what are you envious of? You haven't taken off your pants yet ~ ~

15. I brought my youngest son to my friend's birthday. After dinner, everyone went to karaoke, and the younger son volunteered to sing to the protagonist. Applause is everywhere. I sang a birthday song for my uncle. A public outcry. I looked back at the screen: pray.

16. I just bought a house and called a buddy excitedly: "If I buy a house, it will be renovated for only ten cents (I forgot to say the word" blank ")." The buddy said, "Is there only one toilet? So where do you live?