Jokes that make people laugh out loud

1)

A patient came to a psychiatrist.

Patient: I always feel like I am a bird.

Doctor: Oh, that’s serious. When did it start?

Patient: Ever since I was a little bird...

(2)

A doctor at a mental hospital asked the patient: If I put What would you do if one of your ears was cut off?

The patient replied: Then I won’t be able to hear it.

The doctor heard: Yes, it’s normal.

The doctor asked again: What would happen to you if I cut off your other ear?

The patient replied: Then I won’t be able to see it.

The doctor became nervous. How could he not see it?

The patient answered: Because the glasses will fall off.

(3)

Two mental patients escaped from the hospital.

The two ran and ran and climbed up a tree.

One of the people jumped down from the tree and rolled.

Then he raised his head and said to the person above: Hey, why don’t you come down?

The man above answered him: No--ok--ah--I'm not familiar with it yet...

(4)

There is a doctor in the mental hospital The old lady, wearing black clothes and holding a black umbrella, squats at the door of the mental hospital every day.

The doctor thought: To cure her, we must start by understanding her.

So the doctor also wore black clothes, held a black umbrella, and squatted there with her.

The two squatted in silence for a month, and the old lady finally spoke to the doctor: Excuse me, are you also a mushroom?

Are you a mushroom?

(5)

A certain mental hospital heard that the leader was coming to the hospital to inspect the situation, so the director convened a meeting with the patients. At the meeting, the dean said:

"This afternoon, very important leaders are coming to visit, and everyone must go to the door to welcome them. During the welcome, all

There are patients standing on both sides of the hospital entrance. When I cough, everyone claps together, the more enthusiastically the better; when I stamp my feet, they all must stop, and no one can make a mistake. Everyone is ready. We can eat meat buns for everyone tonight. If one person messes up, everyone will have no buns to eat. Remember? "

The patients in the audience shouted together: "Remember!"

That afternoon, the leader arrived on time.

When he stepped into the door, the welcoming patients were already standing at the door.

At this time, as the director coughed, all the patients clapped and welcomed him, and the atmosphere was very warm.

The visiting leaders were infected by the warm atmosphere and walked into the hospital with smiles on their faces and applause with everyone.

Seeing that the leader had entered the hospital, the director stamped his foot and all the applause stopped, very neatly.

Only this leader continued to move forward with a smile and applause. The dean was very satisfied.

Suddenly, a patient as strong as Schwarzenegger sprang out from the welcoming crowd, strode up to the leader, swung it round and gave him a big slap in the face

He yelled angrily: "You don't want to eat steamed buns anymore?"

Beijingers, Frenchmen, and Americans were walking in the desert together and were about to die of thirst. Suddenly, the three of them discovered a god. When he touched the lamp, he pulled out a magic lamp and said, "I can grant each of you three wishes.

She said to the driver: "I'll give you an apple to eat. It's delicious..." The driver thought it was great, so he took it and took a bite. The woman asked: "Is it delicious?" The driver said: "It's delicious!" The woman replied again: "I remember I also liked apples when I was alive..." Wow...amp;*$#@... ...When the driver heard this, he was so frightened that he rushed the car and turned pale... The woman slowly tilted her head forward and said to the driver: "But I don't like eating after giving birth!..."

Teacher: Honestly, do you smoke?

Boy a: Don’t smoke.

Teacher: Don’t smoke? Well, let's eat some root fries.

Boy a naturally stretched out his two fingers and took it...

Teacher: Don’t suck? ! Call parents...

[Scenario 2]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy b: Don’t smoke.

Teacher: Don’t smoke? Well, let's eat some root fries.

b Because he heard about a, he carefully took the fries with his palm.

Teacher: Why don’t you dip it in ketchup?

b I accidentally dipped it in too much, so I immediately flicked it with my fingers...

Teacher: You are very skilled in flicking the ash. Call parents...

[Scene 3]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy c: Don’t smoke.

Teacher: If you don’t want to smoke, okay, let’s eat some French fries.

c Because of the previous two examples, I finished eating the French fries very carefully and sweating.

Teacher: Why don’t you take the roots back to your classmates?

c After taking the fries, he easily clamped it on his ears...

Teacher: Don’t want to suck it? Call parents...

[Scene 4]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy d: Don’t smoke.

Teacher: Very good, let’s eat some French fries.

d finished the fries with fear.

Teacher: Why don’t you take the roots back to your classmates?

d carefully put the chips into his coat pocket.

The teacher suddenly shouted: The principal is here!

d hurriedly took out the chips from his pocket and threw them on the ground, stamping them hard with his feet...

Teacher: Don’t suck? ! Call parents...

[Scene 5]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy e: No,

Teacher: Very good, let’s eat French fries.

e Just took the fries, and the teacher said: Won’t you treat me to some?

e quickly handed over the fries with both hands, and then took out the lighter...

Teacher: Don’t smoke? ! Call parents...

[Scene 6]

Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy f: Don’t smoke.

Teacher: Very good, let’s eat some French fries.

f Finished eating with fear.

Teacher: Suddenly shouted: The principal is here!

f His palms were sweating, but he still lowered his head calmly and said: Hello, principal!

Teacher: The principal will smell your mouth.

f took out French fries: No, it’s still here, the fire hasn’t even started yet...

[Scene 7]

Teacher: What the hell are you doing? Do you smoke or not?

Boy g: Promise to God, I will never smoke.

Teacher: You really don’t smoke? OK, let's eat some root fries.

g He took the fries very naturally and ate them all.

Teacher: What a good boy. What brand of French fries do you usually like?

g(getting carried away): Greater China...

[Scene 8]

Teacher: Let’s eat French fries.

Boy n: Thank you, no.

Teacher:……``