Running away from home

01

He was about thirty years old and drove a car on the highway.

"Please speak after the beep." It was the familiar female voice again, but this time he did not respond, because this was a long journey without a destination. How far to go, where to go, how far the distance is, how fast to drive... This is a question of a worse nature than what to eat every morning. People always carefully calculate their next step, which is why he ran away from home.

It seems ridiculous for a thirty-year-old man to run away from home. Because it seems like a trick used by children to scare adults. But when adults run away from home, they are often serious.

There was no scream from his wife in the passenger seat, and the sun visor stayed in place quietly. There is no power-on sound from the boss in the back seat, so he can choose his favorite tunes and play them loudly. Why wasn't this decision made one day earlier, one minute earlier, one second earlier? He always complained about himself like this, having to endure until he was in his golden age before making up his mind. It was a little lucky that at least it wasn't too late to start.

His name is Fang Zheng, Fang Zheng is Fang Zheng. Some people say that names are predictions of life, so parents all over the world give their newborns names before giving birth to a new life. Interestingly, the name will be somewhat related to a person's destiny, but it may not be completely reliable. After all, apart from making Fang Zheng's face square, his name doesn't seem to play much role in other aspects.

He spent half his life trying to get closer to his name. He would take a detour when he saw ants, otherwise it would be a harm to his life; even if he was short of money, he would give generously to beggars when he saw him, otherwise he would He is a murderer who refuses to save his life; his clothes and shoes are arranged in an orderly manner. If he does not do this, it seems to go against human nature.

He has always made himself an upright person. No matter what he does, he must be well-founded. His name is his expectation, and his expectation must not be disappointed. Drawing a wall as a prison in a restricted quadrilateral life is the stupidest thing he has ever done. The hardest thing to do.

He turned off the navigation, and the annoying female voice finally fell silent in his ears. In the past, the first thing he did when he got in the car was to turn on the navigation. The navigation could take him to the exact destination with less time and effort, but it always took him to places he was not interested in or even extremely disgusted with, where well-dressed men were driving. Tie, there is a woman wearing a hip-covering short skirt swaying her buttocks, they are chatting and laughing, saying some lines such as "please cooperate", "long time no see", "nice to meet you", like lost relatives recognizing their ancestors. Thinking of this, he immediately turned off his phone. Only if no one could find him could he successfully escape.

This is a magical highway. He has been here many times. Sometimes as a driver, sometimes as a husband, sometimes as a father. Only this time, it's in his own capacity.

This is a coastal highway, with the blue sea on one side of the road. There are no tall buildings, and the sea is usually a reflection of the sky. Every time he passed by, he deliberately slowed down and opened one-tenth of the car window to smell the sea breeze. He is afraid of water, but the smell of sea water always has the flavor of freedom. The last time I came here, I was taking leaders to attend an event. Some citizens were standing on the beach taking photos, and there were groups of riding enthusiasts on the bridge. The leader said that this stretch of sea was purely unnecessary and that developers should plan and build buildings so that they could be sold at a good price. He echoed a few words against his will, and the sea became rough.

He drove into the service area and leaned on the fence to look at it for a long time. He could not imagine what the city would be like without this sea. The city was filled with gunpowder smoke and car exhaust, and the crisscrossing highways stretched. The starting point here is the end point there, and it repeats itself forever, like a maze.

02

He has not always been so disciplined, he has also been as unrestrained as a boy. In middle school, he fell madly in love with rock music. CDs were always thicker than books. Those electronic music and keyboards seemed like clouds floating in the sky. When he put on his headphones, he felt like he was falling into the clouds. His parents called him to eat. He never agreed, and all the MP3 players that were supposed to contain English listening were replaced by his favorite, Xu Wei and Zheng Jun. He is obsessed, he wants to be as free as the wind, he dreams, and what he dreams of is true love and freedom. He grew his hair long to resist the cold eyes of his classmates and teachers, and borrowed money to buy a guitar behind his parents' back. He thought that by doing so, he would be able to rise like the beliefs on the poster.

During the college entrance examination year, he was forced to give up his music dream under the pressure of his family and teachers. His family had no money and he did not accept the concept.

That was the first time he felt powerless without money. A high-spirited young man ruined his ideal life at the age of 18 when he was powerless. He took the most universal and correct path, and he chose to become a normal person in the eyes of others. Studying, working, getting married, having children...

After repeating his studies for a year, he was admitted to university. The family was overjoyed. After three generations of ancestors, a college student was finally born. He was unhappy, but also full of expectations for the unknown life. The first thing I did when I went to college was to form a band. Fortunately, he met a group of like-minded partners, and they all named themselves "Windrunner". He wrote many songs and performed them on the road in various places. He also performed on the streets and was taken away by the police. He smiled and wrote these things into his diary, as if it was something he would be proud of no matter how many years later he looked back at it.

Just three years ago, when he was moving to a new house, his diary disappeared. Paper memories disappear, and those traceless memories lose their evidence. The "windrunner" went their separate ways after graduation and only thought about it when they got married. They became the Windrunners of their respective lives, but the real Windrunners no longer exist.

He remembered that through another tunnel, going down is where the university is. The university he went to was not good, but the university across the street was Tsinghua University and Peking University in the eyes of locals. Teachers there always use this to motivate students in class: "If you don't work hard, you will be just like those guys across from you." This has become the most famous motto for students in the entire area. He was disgusted by this. At that time, he always felt that he was a superhero who could save the world wearing red pants. Later I found out that except for the red pants, everything else was different between him and the superhero.

There was a football field at the university opposite, and he had been tempted countless times compared to the lime ground under his feet. He and several of his accomplices sneaked out of the dormitory in the middle of the night and climbed over the fence to play football in other schools. The first few times were fine, and they were careful and were not discovered. Later, they became bolder, let down their guard, and were caught by the security guards. They became a point of contention between the two schools. laughing stock. From then on, the sentence became: "If you don't work hard, you will be just like Fang Zheng across from you." After so many years, he never played football again. The taste of running on that green field had disappeared, and he couldn't even miss it. None of the qualifications.

After getting married and starting a business, his ideals were completely locked up in daily necessities. By all accounts he had become a man, but his wife thought otherwise. When he was young, he often thought about irrelevant issues and had no time to take into account the love of his children. Therefore, when he was 26 years old, he met his current wife through the introduction of his parents, and they had a flash marriage within a year. At that time, he didn't understand what love was at all, so he married his wife in a daze with the help of many relatives.

My wife is from the county. She graduated from junior high school and runs a small store by herself. The business is not bad. The celery at Wang Datou's house went up by 6 cents, and the shameless woman who visited the store gave him another 5 yuan on credit... The punctual announcement of vegetable prices and the same family feud were the only topics between his wife and him. These were sometimes interesting, sometimes boring, and he responded politely, but was not allowed to refute or offer constructive suggestions. This is what bothers him the most.

Before the age of 25, his body and brain are ready to move at any time, but after the age of 25, it is like crossing from grassland to desert, the dryness of life is projected into the psychology, and music and football can no longer be mentioned. his interest. He likes to read quietly after get off work. He bought many beloved novels, but his wife laughed at him and said that he was just pretending and spending money indiscriminately, which was all waste paper and pornographic books. His books can only be hidden in the underground garage, which is considered his study. There is also a notebook hidden there, which records secrets that cannot be known by his wife. Any word can make her furious.

03

After exiting the second tunnel, the sky suddenly darkened. I don’t have a cell phone and I don’t know the time. The sun was setting over the mountains, and I guessed that it would have been meal time at this point in the past. He should be sitting in the company cafeteria, ordering a cold cabbage for two yuan, a stir-fried pork with garlic sprouts for three and a half yuan, and a steamed bun for one and a half yuan. His wife often tells him to eat less for dinner, which is good for his health. At this time, the wife should still be guarding the store, and the child was crying and fussing beside her. After returning home, he would sit in the garage for a while, read "The Moon and Sixpence", write a diary, and then tiptoe back home to listen to his wife's vegetable price report and family gossip.

Thinking of this, he felt a little panicked after not contacting his family for a day, but something strong suppressed the panic firmly. He has further to go.

He had been planning this escape for a long time, but when he actually implemented it, he did not act according to the plan. It was on a very calm morning, when he was supposed to be on his way to work, that he turned around and drove onto the highway.

The sky has completely darkened, the afterglow is mottled, navy blue clouds are stacked in the vast distance, and the mountains have disappeared. A few hundred meters further on is the toll station.

Where are you now?

The woman in the toll booth put her hair in a bun and stretched out her white-gloved hand from the window, gesturing for him to stop and pay. He was dumbfounded, touched his pockets, touched his trouser pockets, and finally picked up the turned off mobile phone, as if he had received a signal to connect with the world. The ground shook in the palm of his hand, seeming to announce the failure of his escape. Countless messages and missed calls overflowed the screen, and various pop-ups fought with each other.

"Where have you been all day? Come back quickly. My son has a high fever of 39.8°C. He is now receiving intravenous drip in the hospital!"

How could my son have a high fever? His pupils trembled, and he suddenly remembered that he had forgotten to turn on the heater while giving his son, who had just turned two years old, a bath last night. He was heartbroken, as such a young child could not withstand a high fever.

"Come to the Expo at three o'clock in the afternoon. Bring the materials you have compiled and prepare your car."

The plan really cannot keep up with the changes. The Expo is clearly on the leader's schedule. Why did you suddenly change your schedule the day after tomorrow? All sectors of society attach great importance to this expo. Everyone in the company has worked hard for four months, and the most critical information is all in their own USB flash drives. It's over now, he hasn't been seen for a whole day, and he can't explain it no matter what.

"You have a stranded express reminder, please check it."

"Telephone bill: Your *** consumption this month is 52.60 yuan, leaving 2.40 yuan. To ensure your normal Communication, you can directly log in to the China Mobile APP to recharge."

...

"Hello?" The woman poked her head in confusion.

He came to his senses and opened WeChat Pay.

When his wife called, he hesitated for a moment and picked up. There was a cry on the other end of the phone. Surprisingly, his wife didn't blame him. She just kept saying that her son's face was red, his body was hot, and he was still unconscious. He was extra anxious, spinning the wheel as decisively as he had this morning.

His colleagues' calls came one after another. His brows were furrowed and his scalp was numb. He knew that he had made irreparable mistakes in the dozen or so hours he disappeared.

He stepped on the accelerator, wanting to see his son as soon as possible and how to explain it to the company. He didn't know where he was now, he only knew that he had traveled far, far away. He opened the navigation in a panic.

"Please speak after the beep."

Hearing this familiar female voice, he was so excited that he almost shed tears and said his home address. He sighed from the bottom of his heart: Navigation is really a good thing.

"Now we will start navigating for you. The whole journey will take about 13 hours and 20 minutes."

He gritted his teeth, held the steering wheel tightly, and the car swung left and right in the middle of the road. Down. Tears welled up in his eyes and fell on his clothes and trouser legs. He wanted to tear himself to pieces.

He understood that it was not that the world could not live without him, but that he could not live without the world.

He vowed that he would never run away from home again and that he would live a good life.