Funny and homophonic jokes accompany you on Singles Day.

Funny and homophonic jokes accompany you on Singles Day.

1、? Mr. Xu Xian, what's the secret of keeping your love fresh with your wife all these years?

? Every day when I come home from work, she greets me and gives me a snake kiss. ?

2. The little white rabbit knocked at the door and asked. Mother Goose, is your gosling there?

Mother goose replied:? What do you want from him?

? I'm a little short of money for business recently? The little white rabbit is a little embarrassed to say: I heard that the interest rate of goose loan is low, so I came to ask ...?

3. A murder case happened in the 3.ktv private room! The deceased was from Gao Fushuai! There were seven or eight hot beauties at the murder scene! There is also a girl with a flat figure!

The police took the case! But the case is complicated! It was difficult to solve the case, so the police found the master and asked him who was the real murderer!

The master looked at several sides! I said it without thinking? Flat chest is the real killer? .

4、? Why are you writing to grandma so slowly?

? What's strange about this! My grandmother reads letters very slowly. ?

5. A monster wants to eat me. It doesn't matter if you die, but the monster stops when it bites.

I endured the pain and asked what happened to it. It grinned and said, Your life is too bitter!

6. judges:? You said robbing a bank was just a joke. what proof do you have ？

Suspect:? I used a toy pistol. ?

7、? I have good news and bad news for you. Which one do you want to listen to?

? Good news, right? ?

? Good news. ?

8. When the Tang Priest saw Wukong put on his hat,

I read basketball silently.

Wukong shouted: Headache! Headache! ?

Tang Priest was overjoyed and read it several times.

The pain rolled Wukong around, and the flower hat was broken!

The Tang Priest paused, and Wukong asked. What scripture is this?

Tang priest faint way: dysmenorrhea.

9. Someone asked the master why he knocked on wooden fish instead of chickens, sheep or anything else when he was chanting Buddha.

The master replied: The most diligent creature in the world is the fish. It never meets its eyes and swims around all day. You have to fight so hard, let alone people.

Originally called knocking fish, it is actually knocking people.

Mermaids have their own ways, and live each day diligently, leaving no regrets in the world? Have you noticed that this is not a joke! ! !

10, the head of Emei Sect challenged, pointing to the four dharma masters of Shaolin Temple and shouting:? Who's coming? Say your name! ?

Four dharma monks said: poor monk prodigy, poor monk Tong Yuan, poor monk middle child, poor monk wise boy! ?

The manager is angry:? Is your abbot downwind?

Suddenly the abbot flashed out from behind and said, Amitabha, the poor monk's dharma name is overall! ?

1 1. Once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved chickens. The tenant rented his field, but he had to be given a chicken first.

A tenant named Zhang San went to pay the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and rented it out the next year. When he went, he put a chicken in a bag, and after paying the rent, he told the landlord about renting the land for the next year. He insisted that he was empty-handed, so he said, "There are no three kinds of land." Zhang Sanming understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag.

As soon as the landlord saw the chicken, he immediately changed his tune and said, "If you don't give it to Zhang San, who will you give it to?"

Zhang San said, "Your words have changed so quickly!"

The landlord replied: "That sentence was' nonsense' just now, and now it is said by accident."

12, the new magistrate is from Shandong. Because he wanted to hang up, he said to the master, "buy me two bamboo poles."

Inquired that the "bamboo pole" in Shandong dialect was "pig liver", and quickly agreed, ran to the butcher's shop and said, "Master Xinxian wants to buy two pieces of pig liver. You are a clever man.

You should know it! "

The shopkeeper, a clever man, immediately cut off two pieces of pig liver and presented a pair of pig ears.

After leaving the butcher's shop, the owner thought, "The owner told me to buy pork liver. Of course this pig ear is mine? " So he wrapped the hunting ear and stuffed it into his pocket. Go back to the county government and report to the magistrate: "Report back to Grandpa, I bought pig liver!" "

The magistrate was very angry when he saw that the master had bought pig liver, and said, "Where are your ears!" " Hearing this, the master turned pale with fear and quickly replied, "Ears? Ears? Here? On me? It's in my pocket! "

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