What should you do when you are most confused, helpless and aimless?

Hello, friend. The following is the note of an old friend of the counselor. I'm happy to answer your question.

I majored in computer science at university. I really wanted to work in a game company at that time, so I handed my resume to many game companies in my senior year. I didn't expect many of them to pass (who would have thought that scum could pass so high, probably because he played thousands of games).

So I chose a company in Shanghai for an interview.

I live in a small county, which is quite far from Shanghai. I remember taking the bus for more than 20 hours and arriving in Shanghai after 3 am. This is my first trip.

The interview went well, and the supervisor told me to go home and pack my bags for work.

But maybe I am used to living in a place where I can see the sky when I look up, so I think that so many tall buildings in Shanghai are not only unsightly, but also make me very stressed.

So, at home, I considered rejecting this company again and again.

At ordinary times, I am a person with a clear goal, just as I chose the career of psychological counseling and prepared to make it a lifelong career. This goal has never changed.

Of course, my performance in life tends to be flexible and free, which may not be so similar to this persistence, but questions and answers, consultation, writing and so on. It happens every day and lasts for a long time. The avatar phone has not been changed for more than ten years.

So it can be said that the time I came back from Shanghai should be the most confused and helpless time in my life so far. Because I don't know how to go, how to go next.

There are always two voices fighting in my heart, "You dare not stay in Shanghai", "Gold always shines" and "But am I really gold?" .

"There will always be a way out in life", which is a sentence in the movie to kill monsters with Head & Shoulders. I have always been impressed.

Yes, no matter what predicament we are in, what confusion and helplessness we face, we will do something based on the instinct of survival and the inner appeal of self-realization to prevent ourselves from doing nothing. Even if you choose to join the virtual world.

At that time, because I also had some interest in psychology, I bought books for psychology graduate students, although I didn't plan to take the exam.

Then one morning, I suddenly felt that I should write something, so I let my hair grow crazy and closed the door for a month. I sat in front of the computer and wrote two books about psychology, with nearly 300 thousand words.

Of course, from the present point of view, it may be more appropriate to call it sentiment. And after this writing, it has strengthened my determination to embark on the road of psychological counseling.

However, this is just my own story, and it has no great reference value. But there are some things I still want to share:

1, confusion and helplessness are not terrible. Everyone will experience it in his life. When there is confusion and helplessness, it means that we have reached a bottleneck. Break through a little and gain a lot in the future;

When confusion and helplessness appear, it is actually reminding us to calm down, sort out the past and ourselves, and then get the answer of how to go next. Just like I used hundreds of thousands of words to sort out the follow-up development direction;

3. People should seek internally, not externally. The improvement of cognitive ability is very important. If you always rely on the outside world instead of improving your inner self, you will always be confused and helpless.

4, cognitive ability is important, but at the same time, don't fall into the situation of "thinking without learning", or increase practice and try, just like there are many ideas in my heart, but I don't just think there, but actually knock on the keyboard;

Don't do nothing when you are confused and helpless. Please stick to what you need to do, what you should do and what you can do. Only in this way can you ensure that your life will move on, and life will move on. This is the foundation of a faithful wife;

6. Firm confidence, confusion and helplessness are everyone's experiences. As long as you keep moving forward, you can find your own way even if you don't find the answer.

Thank you for reading. I hope it helps you. Best wishes.

I was most confused, helpless and aimless when 17 years old jumped the queue. I'm not strong enough, and I always lag behind others in my efforts. 18 years old, three boys are soldiers. I am a girl, and I don't know where my hope lies. Two boys went to the commune drilling team and one boy went to the commune factory. A boy went to the brigade to drive a car accident, and a girl went to the brigade to drive a tractor. Two boys joined the league. A girl returned to the city after her illness. In a word, nothing good happened to me. When I am free, I read novels and romance of the Three Kingdoms. I don't know many words. I don't understand. I'm confused. It seems interesting to read math books and do problems. Because I went to the countryside early, my brother was one year older than me and taught himself with his textbook. No, ask dad. Dad is a university teacher. Ask again, forget it after a while, and ask again. It bothers dad. Why do you always ask? I said, you stay in the city for your brother and let me go to the countryside in advance. I haven't learned it, so I can't remember it again. Can't you say it a few times? 19 years old, my spring has come, and I am allowed to enter the university. You don't need the approval of the leader, just register yourself. I'll sign up. Someone laughed at me when I was a child. I got in, and no one laughed at me anymore!

In short, it is always useful to try to accumulate knowledge when you are most confused, helpless and aimless.

Whose life has never been confused, helpless, and has no goal. No matter who it is, everyone has this experience. In fact, confusion is not terrible. What is terrible is that confusion makes you linger.

1. Confusion exists in lack of cognition.

Too little reading and too much thinking, your knowledge can't solve your confusion and lead to confusion. The most important thing is that your cognition is not enough. For example, if you only have a junior high school education, there is no doubt that you don't know anything if the university asks you to do advanced mathematics, but if you have a college education, it is relatively easy for you to do junior high school mathematics. This is the trouble that you can't solve the problem without a certain knowledge reserve.

Being in trouble has dampened confidence.

One thing you have to understand is that confusion is the normal state of life. You will be confused at every stage of your life. You will be confused if you can't find a job, and you will be confused if you are unhappy when you find a job. This is life. When you encounter a certain dilemma and your confidence is hit, you will become confused.

1. Keep learning and improve your cognition.

In fact, a lot of confusion in life lies in the lack of knowledge. Only when you can't clearly understand the nature of things will you be confused. If you want to reduce your confusion, you must keep learning, improve your cognition and have enough knowledge reserves, so that you can look at things or problems at a higher level. As the saying goes, there is some truth in standing high and looking far.

2. Learn to reply in time.

Liu Chuanzhi once said: "Resumption of trading is very important. Think about what accidental factors make something happen, and don't think it's your own ability. Especially after the failure, we should dissect ourselves bloodily and summarize our shortcomings mercilessly. In this way, your ability will naturally improve. " You should reflect on what caused the confusion, why there is confusion, and find the root cause, so as to better prescribe the right medicine.

3. Seek help from cattle people and experts.

You are confused and can't solve the problem. In the eyes of others, that is not a problem at all. If you want to break through the strange circle surrounded by confusion, you must learn to seek the help of cattle people and experts, listen to their opinions and ask them to give you some advice. Why do you feel that "it is better to study for ten years than to listen to you" is because other people's different solutions can open different directions for you and make you realize.

4. "Read it a hundred times and see for yourself" to get yourself moving.

People often flinch when they are confused. In fact, the more so, the more confused you will be. Only when people move can they break through the confusion. If you don't move, the confusion will never disappear. What should I do when I am confused? First do what you can, then do what you can and ask others for help. Step by step, you will have fewer and fewer difficulties. This is the truth of never getting tired of reading and seeing yourself clearly.

To sum up, what should I do after I am confused? Instead of being confused, it is better to calm down and think about what you should do and what you can do at the moment. Only by constantly surpassing yourself can you become a winner.

The first time I lost my job, when I was most helpless and confused, I chose to take a long-distance bus. I sat and looked at the busy pedestrians outside the window. Until you sit in a place with few people but full of sunshine, get off and stay. Tidy up your mood, pick up the phone, call the closest person, and tell them that they are all fine, what are they busy with now, what great decisions have you made, and what are you going to do for this decision! Pay for your unemployment, give yourself an excuse to start over, and cheer for your dreams with the expectation and encouragement of your loved ones! Hang up the phone, clear your mind, learn a lesson and start over! Come on, stranger, come on, you are the best, believe in yourself!

One's life can't be smooth sailing! Because everyone has their own thoughts, their own pursuits and wishes. Since there is a desire to pursue, there is loss and hesitation!

I was born in the society for so many years and experienced some ups and downs. Although I have made some achievements in my life, I really can't forget the confused period at the bottom of my life.

When I first entered the society, I was full of ideals and strong desire for success! My blood is boiling, the whole world is mine! I really want to do something. Success is simple. Do it! However, as simple as that, this society is not a complex society!

Job-hopping again and again, look down on what you are doing again and again! I wonder how a person like me can do such a job! These are just means of making a living. Work is my ideal, and occasionally there are poems and distant places! So keep looking, keep denying, keep giving up and keep hitting the wall! Even hit the wall! Later, I began to re-examine myself and re-understand the society!

At the worst time, I didn't eat for three days and slept on a bench in the riverside park!

I can't find a hotel as a waiter, which can quickly solve my food and accommodation problems. I put away my ideal and press my wish. Block out all previous relationships, including family. A person hiding in a corner of this strange city!

Sow quietly in this city, waiting for germination, waiting for flowering!

1, go out for a walk, don't shut yourself in the house. At this time, I like to go to crowded places and see the people coming and going outside and the bustling world, which can dilute my inner troubles. My favorite place is the vegetable market, where people bargain and choose between the east and the west, especially with the fireworks of life. Looking at these, you can see many unpleasant things.

Look at the sky and bask in the sun. When I am confused and helpless, I will spend more time to see the scenery, especially the blue sky and warm sunshine. I like to walk slowly in the sun and say to myself, even if I have nothing, it doesn't matter, at least I still have such a beautiful sun. My body is warm and my heart is warmer.

3. Talk to your heart. When I am most confused and helpless, although it will be very painful, I will keep talking to myself and say something to cheer myself up. For example, "it doesn't matter, I'm not afraid of heavy snow." I will really tell myself over and over again that it is really effective.

4. write something. When I am most confused and helpless, I will turn to my pen. I will resort to writing those feelings that I can't pour out. I write the most poems. Write it out, and bad emotions will have an outlet to vent. Sadness will become lighter and less. Then I sealed up my own poems and sealed up my bad emotions together.

5. Focus on learning and reading. For me, when I am confused and helpless, the most effective treatment is to get into the book and concentrate on studying. This will make me feel at ease and practical. I was a very good student. Others say it's because I'm smart and studious. In fact, I just think that studying is a good way to let me not think about other things and let me spend my time with peace of mind. There is nothing else to do anyway, so just study. Very quiet and full. Although I am still confused and have no direction, I can't go wrong in reading and I won't waste too much time in confusion.

These are the things I will do when I am most confused, helpless and aimless. I hope I can help you.

People's life emotions are like waves in the sea, with high tides and low tides.

When you are in high spirits, you are full of energy, high morale, and hold your head high, so it is difficult to step on it.

When you are at a low tide, you will be sad, depressed, helpless, alarmist and embarrassed everywhere.

What should I do when I am confused, helpless and have no goal? I think:

L Establish self-confidence, overcome inferiority, and don't underestimate yourself and overestimate others.

Be good at hands-on and do your ordinary, dribs and drabs and trivial things well.

Read more books and newspapers, increase your knowledge and broaden your horizons.

Take more outdoor activities, take more walks, participate in various recreational activities, get close to people and talk to relatives to get a good mood.

Be hard on yourself, be organized in what you do every day, set small goals and make up your mind to accomplish them, and don't muddle along. ...

External cause is the condition of change, and internal cause is the basis of change. Everything depends on your own subjective efforts!

It's not terrible to be confused. Stopping first can be regarded as a short rest in life, so as to settle down and think about life, realize life, make a summary of your past and see what you want.

In your spare time, you can read more and exercise more, walk in the sun, use reading to wisdom your brain, and use exercise to keep healthy. When you are confused, you will inevitably be surrounded by social voices, making noise and making trouble. Only wisdom can calm yourself down and see your heart clearly. And health is the greatest wealth. Without health, there is nothing else. Eat well, sleep well and read more books when you have time. Set a small goal of your own, work hard for it, and always have confidence in life. Self-confidence is our courage to live and get out of confusion. People should have at least one goal, whether it is a short-term small goal or a grand goal. As long as you have confidence and goals in your heart, it will push you forward. Slowly get out of confusion.

"When you are confused, there are always people working hard.

When you hesitate, someone will always go forward.

When you give up, someone always insists,

Life is not so melodramatic, nor can it be willful. "

Get out of the confusion from now on, come on.

The most confused and helpless time is often when you want to get better. You may be frustrated and desperate in your previous environment and work, but at the same time you are unwilling to leave because of the price of silence, and get deeper and deeper. If you feel confused and desperate to the extreme, then you are likely to change, change when you become poor, jump out of the original environment and change yourself.

However, many people will be hit by this despair and confusion and sink down. The biggest problem is that there is no goal. To tell the truth, you must have a goal, but don't be specific, because the world is uncertain, and anything you experience may succeed, fail, happen or not. Therefore, with a vague goal, it is practice, which is constantly revised in the process of doing, and constantly deepens its own goals.

When you are most confused and desperate, think more about how wonderful it is to be alive. Think about how much happier you are than many people in the world. Think about your parents and relatives. They want you to be happy, not to lose the meaning of life because of external factors.