Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Looking for Qian Haiyan's works
Looking for Qian Haiyan's works
1. The top secret of a country is where the taxpayer's money goes.
Nostalgia ~ ~ ~ is not because it was so good at that time, but because you were still young at that time.
3. Things that will eventually sink you in always feel comfortable at first.
People who are willing to show their true colors must have Zen mind and determination. A fake Confucian is not as good as a real prostitute.
Small things are often more difficult to deal with. For example, you can sit on the top of 5000 meters, but it is difficult to sit on the tip of a needle.
5. Living without passion is like smoking inferior cigarettes-every bite is meaningless, but you are addicted to it ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
6. A victory that costs too much is a failure!
7. Nothing can refresh you more than seeing the enemy.
8. Marriage is like a book. Its cover is art, and there is an account book inside.
9. Happiness makes people young, pain makes people mature, and open-mindedness is to become like a child again after seeing through the world of mortals coldly.
10, kindness is a relic of the burning soul-if the fire goes out, the charcoal is still warm, and the flowers fade and the wind returns.
1 1. The similarity between the present family and the family a hundred years ago is that the most automated equipment is the mother.
12, beauty is a recommendation letter, kindness is a credit card.
13, a philosopher said: The loneliness of our time has nothing to do with the loneliness felt by ancient Roman heroes or the sadness expressed in classical poetry.
14, beauty is such a thing-no one can define her, but everyone will recognize her.
15, human beings invented all kinds of tools that can be lazy, and then they became more and more busy.
16, one of the safety rules: stay away from fools.
17, women tend to live longer, because one of the responsibilities of a wife is to stay and pack things.
18, there are three kinds of women that men don't understand: one is a little girl, the other is a mature woman, and the third is an old lady.
19, the most beautiful words in the world are not that I love you, but that your tumor is benign.
20. Opening the door to pay for women is a sign of respect for women, while not opening the door to pay for women is a sign of respect for women's rights.
2 1. Experience is an excellent teacher, but in the short-term training course of life, his academic system is too long and the fees are too expensive.
22. Men in bars are looking for excitement, while women are mostly looking for excitement.
23, women show wisdom, sexier than showing thighs.
Even if there is no reason for the absurd things in the world, there can always be a reason, except love.
25. The farthest distance is the distance between me and others.
No one can share the real pain with you.
-You can only switch from one shoulder to the other.
Experience is an ugly but practical bookmark-
Sandwiched in the pages of life for you to read at any time.
The only thing in the world that will get better and better with time is memory.
Where is the knot of life? I figured it out, but it's just-I'm hungry to eat, and I'm tired to sleep.
Don't try to change your lover-no one is a semi-finished product of God.
There is no such thing as pretending on the stage of life-everyone has something sooner or later.
It will really become the role he plays every day.
Fate means-although there are many people in this world,
But there is always only one person who will accompany you home on a rainy night. ...
Homesickness ... not because of how beautiful that era was,
But at that time, you were young.
All mistakes are made under the absolutely correct belief.
Enemy or confidant, the less, the safer.
The poor eat with their eyes, and the rich think with their wallets.
Women, showing wisdom is sexier than showing thighs.
Before marriage, a man stays up all night thinking about the meaning of your words. After marriage, as soon as you open your mouth, he says he is sleepy.
Being poor has at least one advantage-knowing whether you are really loved.
Animals are hunted for hunger, and people are hunted for greed.
First love is the best, because it dies in time and there is no chance of getting worse.
Beauty is such a thing-no one can define her, but everyone will recognize her.
Tolerance is-it is wrong not to think that you are different from yourself.
Being moved by love is like an analgesic for illness. The remission is only temporary, and the symptoms are not permanent.
Beauty is a recommendation letter, kindness is a credit card.
The sign of a child growing up is-first, don't ask him where he comes from, and second, don't answer him where he is going.
I hope I can have a month's leisure before I die. I want to know the name of every culture in the world.
A woman in secret love is as soft, subtle and calm as a lotus flower in bud. Even in autumn, even in the first frost, she was still lingering and quiet, and she left.
The past was lonely-lonely but not lonely.
Silence, retreat and rejection-three best ways to attract men.
Having means you can choose-live meaningfully or die with dignity.
No matter what you are doing, beauty will always distract you.
Fate is that although there are many people in this world, there is always someone who will accompany you home on a rainy night.
Youth is as short as a lotus flower for more than half a day.
Some women's work experience is-adultery in the first half and rape in the second half.
Today's children live in high-rise buildings, away from the game of climbing trees to catch loach when they were young, away from the children's natural collectivism. They know which officials are big and which brands are big.
Sports shoes are expensive, but I don't know which is dandelion and which is rhododendron. They see money, TV, cars and big shopping malls every day, but they can't see sunrise and sunset, flowers bloom and fall, meteor showers and the horizon. They play the coolest video games, brutal competition, inflation and so on. They follow adults from one family to another.
Different families never pay attention to the ant family and the deer family.
There is no pretending on the stage of life-sooner or later, everyone will really become the role she plays every day.
If you wear the mask for too long, it will grow on your face and you will want to take it off unless you move your muscles to support your bones.
A woman always wants to change the man she likes, and when he really changes, she doesn't like him anymore.
Beautiful women are exposed to light wherever they go-this is a small loss.
Nothing can refresh you more than seeing the enemy.
There is no such thing as unfairness in the world, it is just the price you pay for what you want.
Success is-being able to last five minutes longer than others.
Money, health, happiness, love and freedom are my lifelong pursuits. If I can only have three, I want the last three. If you can only have one thing, honey, it's you.
Yes, I want the last one.
Do happy things with close friends.
Is Mo Wen Fate or Robbery?
Once a good woman degenerates, she has the rare benefits of ordinary women.
When a bad woman occasionally acts with good thoughts, she will never recover.
So most women in this world still want to be good women.
How do elves live? Don't ask me, I don't know.
But I know they don't get married or have children.
Men often tell beautiful women that beauty is second, and you need wisdom-and if you don't have beauty, who cares if you are smart or not!
Homesickness ... not because of how wonderful that time was, but because you were young.
There are no ifs in life, but there are many buts.
Being ashamed of something you don't need to be ashamed of is called hypocrisy.
Love is like a rash, you can't hide it, you can't get out without fashion.
Mouth was and is a weapon, so it is as difficult for a woman to wear lipstick as it is to wipe a gun.
Gossip hurts people, and it takes at least two people to cooperate-your enemy slanders you and your friend tells you.
Socializing is tiring, because everyone tries to show qualities that they really don't have.
One of the great tragedies of modern life is that there are too many things we live by and too few things we live for.
Truth is like the sweat of labor-valuable, but pungent.
The difference between a friend and an enemy is that the latter will declare war openly.
A man's social status is in direct proportion to the size of his secrets.
Smart people should be happy-people who think they are smart are often worried.
To turn dreams into reality, the first step is to be sober.
The best way to answer an absurd argument is to shut up-let him go on.
Unless you are a peerless genius, you'd better try to be understood.
You can feel the warmth of fire when chopping wood-this is the reward of faith.
All mistakes are made under the absolutely correct belief.
Success is like eating meat with false teeth-others look delicious, but they feel tasteless.
What you want is-what kind of ghost you will encounter if you are afraid.
Smart people don't succeed, but spend their potential on small gains and losses.
Is there such a man?
I'm a little shy, but I once said I love you loudly in the street. ※.
Come to the temple with me and ask for a sign. Hold my hand gently and kneel down together. ※.
Keep your promise. ※.
Never be late-he won't be angry if I am late. ※.
I can't wait to see my new paintings and characters, and say I like them with a smile! ※!
A long and tight hug-every time I get up, I almost have to push him away slowly. ※.
Go to bed later and wake up earlier than me. ※.
Wake up hazy and call my name lightly-I didn't call it wrong. ※.
Remember my date, shoe size, password, and my biggest fear. ※.
I'm afraid of bugs. When they scream loudly, they won't laugh at me. ※.
I went to the garden in the morning after the rain and returned the earthworm that had climbed the road to the grass with twigs-he was helping me. ※.
Laugh like a bad guy-not really. ※.
When I feel sick, I ask for leave to take me to the doctor and buy ice cream as a reward on my way back. ※.
Never drink while driving. Let me fasten my seat belt. ※.
Help me do housework every day. Do and talk. ※.
Always helping others-why not? ※.
Promise me: never. ※.
Never.
Whistle and fix the toilet. ※.
I hope you are my daughter! ※!
You can give him the yellow color of boiled eggs. ※.
Take a walk on a rainy day, carry me through the stagnant water and say, you can be fatter. ※.
You don't just walk away when you quarrel. ※.
If you make a mistake, you have to admit it. ※.
Read the instructions of the lady's depilator and teach me. ※.
He laughed when I told a joke. ※.
I used to be a soldier-tell me about the war. ※.
When I go shopping, I like skirts of the same style and three colors. He said, try them all on. ※.
When trying on shoes, he folded my cartoon socks and put them in his coat pocket. ※.
Often say-I'm coming! ※!
Tell me when it's over. It's an understatement. ※.
His nails are neat and clean, and he likes me to cut them for him. ※.
He likes everything I do and asks to do it tomorrow. ※.
The children all like him and often come back downstairs to play with a handful of mud. ※.
Gently unscrew the soda bottle that I can't unscrew. ※.
Book me a plane ticket when you are busy and let me take my parents out to play. ※
Tell me.-Call me in 24 hours. ※.
Tell me-don't save money. ※.
Go to donate blood, come back and smile and take out a "welfare biscuit" for me to taste. ※.
I secretly bought a raincoat for two people and put it in the car. ※.
I like barefoot. He spread a small cashmere blanket under the passenger seat. ※.
Draw a tiger's head as your signature when you leave a message. ※.
Call me mom once in a while! ※!
Stuttering when lying. ※.
When arguing with people, it sounds like an explanation. ※.
Teach me roller skating and help me run 1000 kilometers. ※.
Never chat online. ※.
His secretary said to help him sew up the lost button, but he said thank you, no need. ※.
The flowers sent to me are potted flowers. Help me water them. ※.
Play Go with me and allow me to regret it. ※.
He actually mentioned me to his parents a long time ago. ※
Like sports, take me to the club for female guests. ※.
The jeans I wore ten years ago still fit me well. ※.
Make a copy box of my own paintings. ※.
He has a big dog, and his dog likes me. ※.
I asked him to return the Winnie the Pooh I gave him when we quarreled, but he never returned it! ※!
I can't tell the direction. He had a compass inside him, and he said-stay with me. ※.
Eat my leftovers. ※.
He chats with me when I have insomnia. ※.
Her ex-girlfriend will come to him when she is in trouble. It be not without difficulty. ※.
I have a cut on my hand-I was holding each other's knife when I was fighting with some hooligans. I warned him not to do it again, and he nodded and smiled. ※.
When I was taking a shower, he came in and sat on the toilet reading a magazine. ※.
Higher than me, let him take what I can't. ※.
Discuss important things with me, such as the investment plan for next year, whether to have a barbecue at the weekend, and whether to eat Chinese cabbage or Chinese cabbage for dinner. ※.
Stand outside the bathroom in the shop and wait for me. ※.
I caught a cold, but he still drank from my cup. ※.
Call and shout: the tropical fish in my office gave birth to small fish! ※!
Like adults to adults, like children to children, like dogs to dogs. ※.
There won't be so much money for other women to spend for him. ※.
Like me, I never hesitate and never compare with other women. ※.
You have to buy something that suits your heart-buy it without asking the price, and then use it for a long time. ※.
Pick me up at the train station, arrive ten minutes early and bring a box of blueberry yogurt. ※.
I am often asked to sing a song. ※.
Everything I bought for him is his favorite and I won't give it away. ※.
He smells good, but he doesn't know it. ※.
When I go shopping, I watch TV games and try on my new clothes. ※.
Be gracious to women and keep a distance. ※.
With him, you don't have to cry all night on the computer strike. ※.
Rarely sigh. ※.
Don't want to be an official ※.
You can really find him at any time! ※!
I'm not afraid to die-I'm not afraid to live with him until I'm old. ※ ......
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