3723 (Wang Laomang's Short Story)

Wanglaomang

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"Well, hunchback, when did you see, come and have a look. Here, the pig's onion mouth is three or two, seven yuan a catty, three, seven, two and three, two triangles. "

He Erwa held the No.2 sling on the scale in her right hand and the counterweight hanging from the balance point on the scale in her left hand. She symbolically waved the weight on the scale in front of Wen hunchback who had just leaned in, then she put the weight rope in the direction of the sling, and then she closed the scale. Then, with his left hand soaked in oil stains, he took out a small piece of slightly curved light brown braised pork on the scale head, pressed it on the thick round chopping board also soaked in oil stains, and asked, "Do you want to cut it?"

In fact, when he asked, he flattened the mouth of the pig onion, and the kitchen knife in his right hand also found the breakthrough point.

"Oh, which door hasn't been cut? Cut it thin for me and mix it with seasoning. " Wen hunchback responded, slowly unbuttoning the second button on his chest with his thumb and forefinger, and reaching into his pocket to pay for it. He was wearing a dark gray khaki tunic suit that was standard for national cadres at that time. Because his hunchback occupies part of the space in his clothes, his chest is cramped. As soon as the button was unbuttoned, a seam was immediately opened between the first button and the third button, similar to the cut chicken belly.

Wen hunchback slowly took out a stack of folded RMB from his inner pocket, and then unfolded the stack of soft banknotes with corner tickets as the main part from the folded position. He counted 2.3 yuan and gave it thoughtfully to Yan Yaomei, the wife of Heerwa, who reached for the money.

Although Yan Yaomei is He Erwa's wife and the proprietress of Erwa Barbecue Shop, she is actually the head of the family. Just at the moment when Yan Yaomei's outstretched hand touched the bill handed over by Wen Tuobei, that is, the moment when the transaction was finally completed, Wen Tuobei suddenly pulled back his hand and the soft bill. He let out a cry like a dream: "Erwa, what's the matter? Are you angry with me?"

? Hearing Wen Tuo's clamor, He Erwa stopped the kitchen knife cutting meat and shouted at Wen Tuobei: "Hey, Wen Tuobei, what did you say?" Do you think I'm angry with you? Lao tze is a joke, a couple of barbecues, now get a hemp wool? Chennai! "As he spoke, he picked up the pork onion and gesticulated and asked," Do you think this meat is three taels? "Each of you saw the scales, didn't you? Yeah, seven yuan a catty? Yes, three, two, three, seven, three, twenty-three, count them separately, isn't it two dollars and three? " -He swiped back and forth with the wrong account package, which is also a public comment.

Yan Yaomei saw that her husband, who had always been honest, was so confident and confident. She put a handful of change in her right hand into her waist pocket around her stomach, spread out her palm, rolled up the sleeve of her left hand on a crutch, and replaced her left hand with her right hand? Hands rolled up, then hands rested on her hips and shouted, "I really met them today." Wen bows his waist and doesn't give money to Japan and Malaysia. " You are gossiping and trying to ruin our reputation, aren't you? You ask Erliang Mian to visit (Xuan). The Wu family has been selling roasted meat in the west gate of Tucheng for hundreds of years. Have they been weighing for a long time? Which secretary county magistrate hasn't weighed He Jia's roasted meat? Director Ma of the cultural center also said that he would give us intangible inheritance tax, "He Erwa corrected:" Alas, what did Japan say those were for? It is an intangible cultural heritage! What inheritance tax? I can't say don't beg. Ignoring her husband's criticism and correction, Yan Yaomei continued to yell at Wen Tuobei: "When did we do something wrong again? "Your hunchback often buys our barbecue to eat. Didn't I weigh you and make you suffer for a long time? What the fuck is going on? Talking is a shame! "

Wen hunchback was bombed by He Erwa and his wife in turn, and has returned to a state of poor reasoning ability. He looked embarrassed, and now he is completely awake: 3723 is just a joke phrase, and He Erwa happened to meet this mantra when she was settling accounts, resulting in an extra twenty cents. He certainly didn't mean to charge him twenty cents. Of course, his camel won't be serious for this extra twenty cents. He was simply confused by this mantra algorithm and wanted to make things clear. He only felt that the account was miscalculated, but he couldn't say where it was wrong, which caused him to feel uncomfortable from unbuttoning the second button on his chest to being scolded by He Erwa and Yan Yaomei, just like sometimes he felt itchy, but he couldn't scratch it. Alas, Wen hunchback suddenly realized a truth: there is really no need to make every detail clear in life, as long as there is no big problem, just muddle along. Such as 372 1 or 3723, there is absolutely no need to theorize. He is very upset now. Why can't he be a fool for once? Now, things can't develop in the direction he expected with his enlightenment. There is no point in explaining, so as not to hit someone when he is down, which is counterproductive. As soon as his heart is crossed, he pretends to be confused and shows it.

? "Mamaomao" is a Chengkou dialect. If it is not a joke between close friends, it is synonymous with cheating. Businessmen are more taboo. Although Wen Tuobei said this in a half-joking and half-serious tone, he wanted to remind He Erwa in this half-joking and half-serious way: your mouth has calculated a deviation, which is similar to rounding, and it is necessary to let the buyer suffer. Wen hunchback didn't expect this joke to make him so embarrassed, because he didn't find the problem that puzzled him after all.

"Fuck 3723 yo"-this mantra misled He Erwa to settle accounts, which he thought was the crux. He regretted his ignorance and said, "Forget it, the weather is not good today. Sorry, my education is low, my education is low. Three, seven, two, three, yes, yes! " Yan Yaomei grabbed the manuscript fee handed over by Wen hunchback and stuffed it into the bib pocket located in the abdomen. She didn't lift her eyelids, and it was obvious that her anger had not completely disappeared.

"He Erwa, Yan Yaomei, you two have miscalculated this account." Looking at Ma Guangcheng, who had been making trouble for a long time, he spoke with a gesture of "the road is rough and others shovel": "You and your wife not only messed up the ball, but also ate shit and tampered with another pee, so the cat got off the dog."

This Ma Guangcheng is famous for intervening in the local urban management. He is almost the first person to appear at the scene when a noisy thing happens in any family. Call it "ten gongs and nine gongs follow him" It happened to him again today. Ma Guangcheng said unreasonably, "You obviously miscalculated this account and bullied others, even though your second daughter also bought me a few drinks and ate some barbecue." Speaking of which, Ma Guangcheng's tone seems a bit chewy. "Although it is a trivial matter to barbecue three or two times, it is still necessary to be honest and sincere in doing business. Have a conscience and don't bully the young and the old. How can it be 3723 It is understandable that you miscalculated Erwa's account. After all, you only drank that little ink. " Speaking of culture, his self-confidence doubled.

"You can see a few drops of ink from Ma Guangcheng. Don't go to school at the age of six or seven. You won't sprout until your horse is 1 1 year old. Don't mention the second brother, there are as many pockmarked points. " Yan Yaomei said.

"What kind of cute did I send at the age of eleven? But I graduated from a decent primary school and got a hard diploma. " Ma Guangcheng gave a wonderful answer and deeply felt that he not only had culture, but also had courage. He cleared his throat and said, "As the saying goes, it's no big deal. The problem is that you should not bully others, let alone bully a disabled person together. Your Yan Yaomei is an asshole. Your male account is miscalculated. You should have set things right, but you are trying to help others. " Ma Guang described a young man who made a generous speech during the May 4th Movement, which attracted passers-by to stop and listen.

? Yan Yaomei was completely angered by Ma Guangcheng's reprimand: "Hey, Ma Guangcheng, you nosy. Which is the dog? Which is the dog? I think you are the nosy dog that bites mice. I sell my barbecue, I pay the bill, it's none of your business. I think you are bloated after eating dry food, and there is no place to digest it. " Yao Yan's sister's face is black and blue. "Ma Guangcheng, you said two Eva culture is low, your culture is high. When you read a book, you write a book review. What kind of nap is written as a cow sleep? " What made your old man's political outlook become a beard, and the relationship between you and your mother became a relationship between men and women? You have culture and ball culture! It's not just toads who pretend to be gentle with glasses. You said Erwa 3723 was miscalculated, so you said a lot? 3723, 3723, right or wrong is related to your ball! Yan Yaomei hit back like a barrage, seeking justice in the gathering of more and more angry and wronged people.

"Come on, come on, it's not worth hurting everyone's kindness for this little thing. It's all my fault. I shouldn't be in charge of this small account and ask for an audit. Ma Guangcheng, don't worry about this. " Wen hunchback was originally a peacemaker who was afraid of making trouble. He thought he was just joking, but he made a big joke.

"You are a hunchbacked turtle, and I will help you uphold justice. You are a coward. " Ma Guangcheng, who was badly beaten by Yan Yaomei, scolded Wen for hunchback.

"Be, be my turtle, you help me, help me. Ma Lao, you are a cultural person who graduated from primary school and got a bachelor's degree. I care as much as Mo. Forget it, let's call it a day. " Wen hunchback hopes to stop here and let things pass.

"Joke. You said forget it? " Ma Guangcheng thought that since he had entered the thorn forest, he was not afraid of thorns and got up. "Today, we need to clarify the problem and know the truth. As for how much to charge, that's your business. I don't care if you killed a horse or a horse. But this account must be correct. " It seems that Ma Guangcheng's account is not clear either.

"Calculate calculate, what a big cock. I don't believe what's wrong with my account today. " He Erwa, who has been annoyed there, finally spoke. He stretched out the five fingers of his left hand and then recited them one by one with his right hand: "Wen bent down to weigh the pork skull. My pig skull is seven yuan a catty, which is not expensive. Li Lianggang's pig skull is already seven pieces and five pounds. "

Ma Guangcheng was impatient: "He Erwa, don't be here. You just said you settled accounts." Ma Guang's achievement interrupted Horva.

"You son of a bitch always wants to hear Lao Tzu finish." He Erwa held back her resentment, and then said, "He bent down to buy barbecue, reached this section with chopsticks, and asked me to cut the knife at the position he said, just arching my mouth. I weighed the scales, and when I saw it, it was seven dollars a catty, seven cents a liang, three seven two three ... "

"Ha ha ha ha ha." Before He Erwa finished speaking, Ma Guangcheng was already tearful with laughter: "Ha ha, oh, that's funny, three seven two three, three seven two three ... ha ha ha." Ma Guangcheng wiped the tears from his eyes with his palm.

He Erwa was completely stunned by Ma Guangcheng's surging laughter. At this time, Yan Yaomei seemed to think of something and began to scratch her head. But HeErWa is a very stubborn person. He insisted that there was nothing wrong with him, so he roared loudly: "Three seven two three, that is, three seven two three. Smile at the ball! "

"Ha ha ha, ha ha ha. You have all heard about you, and he still insists on three, seven and twenty-three. " Ma Guangcheng wants to firmly grasp the handle and pile up the evidence. He smiled faintly: "He Erwa, He Erwa, what business do you do at this level?" You just want to laugh me to death Haven't you recited the multiplication formula? "

"I'm your ancestor. You said Lao Tzu was wrong. Then you said there were three, seven and twenty sulfur?" He Erwa is really anxious.

"Call you study hard, you want to climb that acacia tree! Bah, I'm ashamed of your living immortal. It is 3724 thiophene, hahaha, hahaha ... "

"Ah?" He Erwa and Yan Yaomei looked at each other.

"Ha ha ..." The crowd was in an uproar.

Wen hunched over and slapped him on the forehead, and dreamily cried, "Right, right, right, right, right, right, right. He Erwa, Yan Yaomei, my hunchback owes you a dime! "