Can you tell a few more short jokes?

There is a little girl who walks to school every day. One day, it rained heavily soon after going out. Lightning cuts the sky like a sword. The little girl's mother drove quickly and looked for her daughter on her way to school. When she saw her daughter walking alone in the street, she found that she stopped every lightning and looked up and smiled. After watching it for a long time, the mother finally stopped the child and asked, What are you doing? She said: God just took my picture, so I want to laugh!

Xiaoming knelt down and begged his classmates to borrow electric toys.

Xiao Ming's mother immediately pulled Xiao Ming up and said, how can a man kneel for a toy?

It doesn't matter. Xiao Ming said with a smile, anyway, he would kneel down and beg me to give it back to him.

The Buddhist pavilion in Shaolin Temple caught fire and burned many scriptures. The abbot couldn't help crying. The young monk didn't know why the abbot was crying, so he asked, "Why is the abbot suffering?" The abbot continued to cry and said, "I have dysmenorrhea! ! !

In high school, I shared a table with my classmates who naturally stayed in 1 class.

On the first day when we were assigned to the same table, this guy chatted with me during the evening study.

Look at my palm and say, oh, your hands are not good! Leak money!

Like me, I am also leaking money! At this moment, a sudden evil wind came.

The head teacher suddenly appeared and said, why don't you two study?

Everyone is fined ten dollars! Damn it, you are so accurate!

A classmate's phone rang this morning. He looked at the number, cleared his throat, and then solemnly told us not to make any noise. The goddess called.

Then we all looked at him with rapt attention, only to hear him connect the phone and say, "Hey, Mom, what's wrong!" " "

A person always farts in the office, and his colleagues can't help but say, can you be quiet? Then I saw him sitting there trembling and asked, why? Answer: I set it to vibrate!

A migrant worker went to the hospital for examination because of a blocked stool. After examination, the doctor gave the man a prescription. Migrant workers went to the medicine collection office and saw that it was a roll of toilet paper. He's confused. The doctor said: don't wipe your ass with a cement bag in the future!

When someone saw the sea for the first time, he sighed: "The sea! Mom! " As soon as his voice fell, a wave came and hit him in the face. The man said angrily, "NND! What a stepmother!

The monkey picked up a card and climbed to the branch to see what it was. Unexpectedly, a lightning strike hit it, and the monkey cried and said, "It turned out to be an ‘IP' card."

Director and * * * section chief take the elevator. After farting, the director said to the section chief, You farted! The section chief said: I didn't put it there. Soon, the section chief was dismissed. The director said at the meeting: you can't afford to take care of big things. What's the use of asking you

In a fashion shop, I saw an impatient young man say to a beautiful girl, "Do you mind talking to me?" The girl asked curiously, "Why?" "My wife has been in this store for more than an hour, but if she sees me talking to you, she will come out at once ..." Before he finished, his wife quickly walked out of the boutique and carried him away.

A gentleman urinated in an empty sprite bottle while driving, and ran out of the car in a traffic jam. He tried to put the bottle in the trash can and was stopped by a respectful policeman. What's the sprite left in the bottle? Take a sip and show me!

Think about your feelings: there is no salt in cooking; Apples should not be too sweet; Smoke less; Forgot to bring money when shopping. I will miss you when I have time, and I will miss you when I have no time. If I really can't spare the time, I will-do nothing but miss you!

My son sleeps with his mother every night.

Mom said: When you grow up, marry a daughter-in-law to sleep with your mother?

A: Hmm!

Mom said, what about your wife?

The son said, let her sleep with her father.

Dad said excitedly after listening: this child has been sensible since childhood!

The cannibal father and son hunted, and the son caught a thin man. His father said, let go, there is no meat! His son also caught a fat man, and his father said, let go, it's too tired! His son captured another beautiful woman, and his father said, take it home and eat your mother at night!

A police dog saw an ordinary dog coming on the road and suddenly ran over to ask it: I am a police dog. What are you? The ordinary dog took a disdainful look and said, idiot, look clearly, I am plain clothes!

Men have the symptoms of an affair: the company works overtime every day, never touches the housework, turns off the mobile phone when they get home, deletes text messages when they come back, snores loudly when they sleep, and often wears anti-underwear. By contrast, three cases were suspected and four cases could be diagnosed.

Finance is the father, the bank is the mother, the land is the overlord, and industrial and commercial taxation is the two wolves. Electric tiger water Rebecca, public security law is mother-in-law. Angels in white is "dirty" and the people's teachers are like leeches. Shit, I can't get through!

During the Songkran Festival, everyone splashed water on each other to bless them. Suddenly a man scolded: Shit, who spilled water on me? Others advised that throwing you is a blessing.

Don't do that, the curse said. Who threw boiling water at me?

I went to work this morning to catch the bus. When I got to the platform, the bus had already started. So I chased it and shouted, "Master, wait for me! Master, wait for me! " ......"

Then a passenger leaned out of the window and said to me, "Wukong, stop chasing."

I went to work this morning to catch the bus. When I got to the platform, the bus had already started. So I chased it and shouted, "Master, wait for me! Master, wait for me! " ......"

Then a passenger leaned out of the window and said to me, "Wukong, stop chasing."

A Jia went to the hospital for a health check-up, and the nurse took a needle to draw blood for him. A Jia looked at the shiny needle and couldn't help asking, "Will it hurt?" I'm afraid of pain! The nurse said, "Don't worry, I have been a nurse for more than 20 years." ... "Someone said," Great, I'm relieved! "Then the nurse put the needle down and only heard a scream like killing a pig. The nurse slowly connected:" It doesn't hurt. "

In the bar, George is drinking beer alone. He suddenly felt that he was going to the bathroom. He was afraid that someone would steal his beer after he left, so he wrote a note on the table: "I spit in the cup." When he came back, he found another sentence added to the paper: "I threw up, too." . . .

Zhuge Liang is a master of eight stunts, one of which is ventriloquism. It is said that Zhuge Liang discussed with Liu Bei in his account this day. Zhuge Liang suddenly wanted to fart, but he was afraid of being heard by Liu Bei. I'm really sorry. He had a brainwave and said, "Master, how about I call you a woodpecker to adjust the atmosphere?" Liu Bei nodded. Zhuge Liang imitated the woodpecker and barked twice, then took the opportunity to fart. Then he asked, "What's the matter, master? Do I learn like it? " Liu Bei said, "Learn it again. You farted too loudly just now. I didn't hear it. "

There is an ugly girl who has never been married and hopes to be trafficked. One day, her dream finally came true and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper thought she was ugly and sent her back to her original place. The woman insisted on not getting off the bus. The kidnapper gnashed his teeth and said, go! No car!

During Spring Festival travel rush, the train was very crowded, so a gentleman stuck his ass out of the window when he stopped. The inspector at the bottom of the car found it and shouted: the fat man with the cigar pulled his head back.

One night, a naked man called a taxi and the female driver stared at him intently. The naked man was furious and shouted: You have never seen a naked man! The female driver was also furious: I see where the fuck you lost!

An old friend lost his car. When he put the new car downstairs, he locked three locks and put a piece of paper: let you steal it! The next day, the car was not lost, and two locks and a piece of paper were added, which read: Let you ride!

In junior high school math class, the teacher talked about equation transformation. He rolled his sleeves on the podium and shouted: Attention, students! I'm going to change! ……

On the birthday of the giant panda, after blowing out the birthday candles, friends asked him what he wished for. The giant panda replied, "I have two biggest wishes in my life, one is to cure my dark circles, and the other is to take a color photo!" "

It's not easy, hope to adopt it.