A fresh joke

1. When your enemy goes to the toilet, he can't get out without paper. What do you do? Give him a roll of transparent plastic.

Your ex is married. Would you like to attend her wedding? I just want to attend your funeral!

Seriously, have you had plastic surgery? -My stomach is bulging. . .

What would you do if your opponent fell into the water? Pee. . .

5. Do you think you look good in person or in photos? -Turn off the lights. . .

6. Freckles, high myopia, pie face, elephant legs, thick waist, let you choose one as your wife, which one would you choose? -I'll choose a man. . .

7. My father suddenly told me that I have more money than Li Ka-shing. What would you say? -It's time to take medicine

8. Do men who smoke smell, or do men who drink smell? -Some people don't take a shower. . .

9. What makes you struggle every day? Constipation. . .

10. You fell asleep on the bus. What were you thinking when you woke up? -Ah. . . Am I still alive? (Because I am a driver)

1 1. If you see Meng Po at Naiheqiao after your death and give you Meng Po Tang, what do you say-grandma has breasts! It's fucking watered again ! !

12. What do you do if you want to cry and don't want to be seen by others? -Cover people's eyes with your hands.

13. What's your favorite pet? -Altman

14. What is the most effective way to give up someone and forget? -Study Altman.

15. Someone spilled oil all over you and told you, don't worry, it's all automatic. What do you do? -Beat him for kidney deficiency and tell him, "Don't worry, there are six kinds of Dihuang pills to treat kidney deficiency and contain no sugar." (This is also very powerful)

16. A person is walking on the road, and a member of the opposite sex comes to ask you: Is this the earth? What's your answer? If it is a beauty, I will say, "I love you, Martian." If it was a dinosaur, I would say, "Go back where you came from."

17. What do you think of going to Starbucks and sitting with a notebook all afternoon? It's better than sitting in Yonghe soybean milk with a notebook.

18. Someone told you that I use mineral water to flush the toilet. How do you respond? -Lao tze urine is a royal military salute!

19. Twins, brother's name is Tianlong, what's brother's name? -Eight departments

20. What was the most valuable thing you stole while playing in Xin Kai? -Rats in Internet cafes ...

2 1. The monitor screen has been shaking slightly. what can I do? -You've been shaking. When your frequency and amplitude are consistent with the display, you won't feel anything.

22. Why do wizards ride brooms instead of benches? -Because riding a broom is much more handsome than sitting on a bench, you can pretend to be a sweeper when you meet the enemy (too powerful to beat yourself).

23. Are there any fattening drugs on the market? What can I eat to get fat? The simpler the better! -Yes, it only takes a while to get fat. The way is to find a hornet's nest and put your hand in it and stir it twice. Oh, just for a moment. I promise to be so fat that I don't even know your mother.

The baby will be born in February 2007. Father's surname is Zhang and mother's surname is Wang. Please give us a name, preferably a two-character name, and it is a verb-object structure. Octopus king