Laugh at a joke

1, my wife is going to take the car test and the road test. As soon as she and the invigilator got on the bus, I gave the examiner 2000 yuan. The examiner said seriously, sorry, we don't accept bribes here! I replied helplessly, brother, this is not a bribe. Maybe this car will be dragged for overhaul in the future. This is just an advance payment!

2. Go to sweep the graves of the dead old people and buy paper money during the Chinese New Year. At this time, the denominations are 65438+10 million, 65438+10 million, 65438+10 million and 65438+10 million. I just took a large denomination, and I took 65438+10 million. At this time, the seller spoke, and you took the big one. Aren't you afraid that he has no change when playing mahjong?

I was really drunk last night. Someone asked me at the dinner table. Your opinion is so good, why don't you take the formal exam? I was angry at that time:? Your daughter-in-law is so beautiful that she won't sit on the stage ? And then there was a fight?

I once said a word, let my goddess take off her underwear! Bear: Lying in the trough is awesome. What did you say? I said to her: Are you there? She said, yes, I went to take a shower.

On the train home for the Spring Festival, a beautiful woman I just met has been chatting with me. Just then, the information that our company will pay half a month's salary arrived. Your salary in January is 1 150. I clearly saw the beautiful woman next to me, and then stopped talking to me. . . Bad woman. .

6. I went to dinner last night, and my mobile phone was dying. I asked the waiter, do you have a power supply here? The little girl said, I'm a shop assistant and I'm sweating. I explained, I mean, is there a power supply that can be plugged in? The little girl scolded, rogue, ran away, leaving me a mess. What did I say wrong?

7. On New Year's Day, I celebrated my birthday in ktv with a large group of friends. Lz was drunk before cutting the cake. I don't know who gave a piece of gum to eat. As a result, the candles were blown too hard during the cake cutting, and the chewing gum was blown out and directly submerged in the cake. I didn't say anything because I was afraid of being scolded by everyone. When everyone was eating the cake, a friend asked, where did you buy this cake and put qq candy? Lz suddenly woke up.

8. After work, I went to the food stall downstairs to buy rice noodles. It's cold, and few people are waiting for the boss's wife to change. I only heard a buddy shouting:? What is this, J8? There is no smell of b at all. ? The boss empress leisurely way:? Young man, it's said to be J8, and you still want B flavor. Think about good things! ? Instantly kill the audience. (the requirements are not high.

All right! )

9. We are classmates in primary school. In junior high school, she was the best in her class. Later, she was admitted to a key high school, and I dragged a bag of clothes out to work. Later, she was admitted to a famous university. Everyone is proud of her. As soon as she graduated from college, she found a job easily. What about me? Instead, I sat in a chair and looked at her resume and casually said: Shit, don't look at you. You are my primary school classmate. Can I have you?

10, Wukong: Master, I want to know why we learned from the West. At that time, we traveled 108,000 Li, and the earth only traveled 84,000 Li in one week. It's time for a detour, not a detour. Why didn't we go east then? The Tang Priest suddenly realized: I am grass, and the Tathagata Yin me! ?

1 1. He went up and asked, classmate, what time is it? Mm looked at her watch: 8: 30. The male classmate said with a surprised face: Ah! My watch also says 8: 30. Do you think we are predestined friends?

12, Zhen Xuan buys pancakes Zhen Xuan:? Aunt, this touch of broken green seems to have fallen into the girl's eyes and spread out in the sun, which is very refreshing. Refreshing your mind is excellent! Wouldn't it be disappointing if you had a burning, withered and anxious heart? Aunt:? Speak human words! ? Zhen Xuan:? Don't put onions in pancakes! ?

13, senior three, I have to study by myself late at night, and there is no teacher to watch. When I study by myself in the evening, my parents always call my classmates. When a male classmate answered the phone, we shouted at the stationmaster. As a result, he was scolded. A female classmate's parents called, and a boy shouted, put on pants, put on pants. At that time, the girl was a mess, and my friends and I were shocked.

A Qiang opened a bookstore near the school. One day, a boy walked into the bookstore and said, "Boss, how many copies of Jin Yong's Eight Dragons are there in your shop? A Qiang said, "You can have as many as you want. The boy said without thinking-I want seven copies, the cheapest. Ok, just a moment, please. The waiter said. Give me another brush and a bottle of ink. A month after I gave it to you, A Qiang saw the big client coming again. Last time you bought seven copies of Dragon Eight Branches at once, did someone else ask you to buy them? That's not true. My mother found a copy of Dragon Eight in my room and confiscated it. A Qiang is even weirder. There is no need to buy seven copies at once. The boy said helplessly, my mother was very angry and insisted that I hand over the other seven books. Why? She thinks "Dragon" should have eight books forever. I have to buy seven books and brush them with a brush? Eight? Change it to one to seven at a time. I want to see Xiao Eleven Lang by Gu Long last month.

15, my daughter is four years old. She doesn't love kindergarten and has no sense of time. She always asked if she would go to kindergarten tomorrow, so I taught her to look at the calendar and told her that she didn't have to go to kindergarten as long as she saw the red one. An hour later, there are basically only holidays left in my calendar this year, and all the green ones have been torn.

16, an intern named ed in a hospital was called by the doctor to be an assistant during an operation. The doctor said, "Ed gives oxygen." Ed put his hands together. "Hold you in both hands and burn incense devoutly."

17, it snows. I wear down jacket, leggings and snow boots to go out. My mother saw it and blamed me. You're wearing too little. Go and put on a pair of pants. ? I said:? I wear a lot of clothes, so I won't be cold. ? Mom got angry when she heard it: compared with the upper body, the lower body can't help but freeze, so it's better to wear more clothes. When it's cold, everyone stamps their feet. Have you ever seen a chest blow?

18, my brother said: I really can't stand our aunt playing songs every morning? I am a girl, and the most important thing for lovely girls is that a large group of old men in our dormitory can't help singing along every morning? I'm a girl, a lovely girl?

19, today several people discussed how lazy and dirty boys can be. A buddy said:? I have to wear underwear backwards. ? Another buddy said:? I've worn it back and forth. ? While enjoying it, another buddy spoke slowly: Do you know that underwear can actually be regarded as an equilateral triangle with three mouths? So, you can take turns wearing it!

20, the stomach is not good to buy stomach medicine, the name of the stomach medicine is not easy to remember, I forgot the name of the medicine when I entered the pharmacy, scratched my head and said: I need an inner sleeve, what is inside, and then the pharmacy MM brought me a box of condoms.

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