Zhihu Zan: Those funny jokes that happened in life.

Nobita's personal story: the adventures of the toilet

An incident happened in our class in high school. A male classmate is squatting in the pit, and there is no paper. It is said that he saw a paper delivery service on the toilet wall, and his contact number was left behind five yuan at a time. The classmate called, and it was the voice of a middle-aged man, feeling that he was asking questions without knowing it.

? Students also scold him, thinking that his business is not good. After asking about the detailed location of the toilet, the man immediately said

Sent the newspaper over. Not only did he collect five yuan, but he also confiscated his mobile phone by the way. That middle-aged man is the headmaster of our school.

Open your eyes and put on headphones to listen! Those things in the newspaper 00:00 04:32

Zhu Li personally said: I overestimated my tolerance.

Last Saturday, on my way back from class at the end of the corridor, I happened to see a female teacher holding a book in her hands. I was very enthusiastic and offered to help her share the heavier pile. She didn't let go. "Why don't we carry it together?" I thought I was stronger, so I refused the heroic result of "nothing, nothing, give it to me". . . The moment she let go. . My heart: "Why is the trough so heavy?" ! ! "

? But at that time, because of my face, I pretended to be calm and didn't say anything, but accelerated the speed? I quickly helped her to the classroom. The moment I put down the book, I suddenly felt numb and unconscious. I thought it was caused by a blood vessel that had just been strangled and the blood was not circulating. Until. . . Two hours later, the class was over and the ring finger was still unconscious. . The night passed. . . . . . . . I began to feel sad (╯д) ╯

"

Until Thursday, the fifth day after that, I sat in the corridor of the hospital. . Holding this list of minor finger nerve injuries in my hand is very complicated.

Remember what the old doctor said just now, "You hurt your nerves at a young age." . "Give it to me with a smile

I've been injecting for 30 days! ! Ass needle! ! ! My ass hurts when I think about it. Д? `)

I called my mother just now and was scolded again. "Look at you, walking the dog and breaking a bone. What else can you do? " Call my dad. "Your uncle uncle suggested that you buy two walnuts and hold them in your hand every day. They all used their own methods. " Me. . . . .

Don't want to talk

A wonderful life

Miss Xiqin's personal statement: I am embarrassed to be given up.

Alas, this is a sad story.

A few months ago, it snowed heavily in Beijing. I was wearing a big down jacket to get on the subway, and suddenly I felt the button of my bra open.

I'm going to buckle it without anyone knowing it. So I took my hand back from my sleeve and put it behind my back.

Button up, I stepped onto the subway, so the people on the subway looked at a little girl with empty cuffs.

I stood in awe when I walked up with a bag around my neck, so an uncle immediately forced me to play dumb.

I walked to my seat and offered my seat. I endured five stops without taking my hand out of my cuff. I really want to play with my hands.

Machine. God TM embarrassed

The victim student Wang said.

College student king. One day, everyone got up and went to class. This student may turn over and press his left arm at night, and then turn over after we wake him up in the morning. At this time, the unconscious arm that had been crushed was brought over and hit him in the face. He was shocked: "Whose fucking hand is this?" Accompanied by screaming, he repeatedly stepped back to get rid of his hand, and finally fell from the upper bunk and broke his right arm.

How can I have a sense of humor?

If you want to have a sense of humor, people like it.

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