What kind of experience is bad handwriting?

There is a question on Zhihu called "What kind of experience is it to be ugly?"

One of them took a bite of brown bread and replied:

Because he is ugly, when he looks in the mirror, a boy will say behind his back in disgust: Look in the mirror even if he is that ugly.

Because of her ugliness, she accidentally bumped into other boys when she crowded the bus, and she would also scold her to get out of here.

Because of her ugliness, the boys always play dirty jokes on her.

Because of ugliness, when boys scold each other, they always end up with who will marry her.

Because of his ugliness, friends never take selfies, don't like dinner very much, and don't dare to take photos with others.

Because he is ugly, even if he is really kind, he never dares to speak loudly.

……

The ugly face seems to be the original sin, and it goes hand in hand from the moment of birth.

You feel inferior, sensitive, suspicious and miserable, because you are imprisoned by others every day, even if it is only the strange eyes of others.

2

A reader once said to me: I take selfies, and it's really ugly to tease myself without waiting for my friends to reply.

When shopping with friends, don't try anything but loose clothes, even if the salesman tells me with a smile that you can try. I told you I was fat and turned around.

When boys say they like me, I always laugh twice, and then I look back: I am not good-looking, don't joke with me, we are good brothers.

……

I deeply understand my ugly appearance, so I don't seem to care about anything. I don't need you to laugh at me. I have criticized myself for a long time.

I use self-mockery, ridicule, pride and smile from my package, pretending to be calm and generous. In fact, in my bones, I care and feel inferior.

No one can know how brave I am before I can face my ugly self in the mirror and say: I am so ugly in front of others, but I am afraid that others will say: You are so ugly.

No one can know how hard it took me to accept the established fact that I was ugly.

No one can know. I don't know how many times I checked the plastic surgery website and wanted to change myself, even if it was just a little better.

However, all this crying in the middle of the night, tossing and turning, turned into a light cloud during the day.

Because I know that once I show the slightest concern about my appearance, I will be attacked.

And this smell, I have tasted it.

2

A reader once said to me: I take selfies, and it's really ugly to tease myself without waiting for my friends to reply.

When shopping with friends, don't try anything but loose clothes, even if the salesman tells me with a smile that you can try. I told you I was fat and turned around.

When boys say they like me, I always laugh twice, and then I look back: I am not good-looking, don't joke with me, we are good brothers.

……

I deeply understand my ugly appearance, so I don't seem to care about anything. I don't need you to laugh at me. I have criticized myself for a long time.

I use self-mockery, ridicule, pride and smile from my package, pretending to be calm and generous. In fact, in my bones, I care and feel inferior.

No one can know how brave I am before I can face my ugly self in the mirror and say: I am so ugly in front of others, but I am afraid that others will say: You are so ugly.

No one can know how hard it took me to accept the established fact that I was ugly.

No one can know. I don't know how many times I checked the plastic surgery website and wanted to change myself, even if it was just a little better.

However, all this crying in the middle of the night, tossing and turning, turned into a light cloud during the day.

Because I know that once I show the slightest concern about my appearance, I will be attacked.

And this smell, I have tasted it.

three

I will never forget their verbal insults to me. Even if I do, they are just children.

However, who says children are not vicious?

In fact, my friend Yiyi is very beautiful now and has big eyes. When she smiles, her eyes are bent, which has a delicate beauty of a girl.

However, even though I tell her over and over again, you are beautiful.

She always shakes her head and always says no.

This sentence does not come from the modesty of a beautiful woman, but from the lack of confidence in her bones.

Even if it is really beautiful as an adult, it is just beautiful.

Yiyi was very fat when she was young, and her five senses were intertwined. This is a natural physiological problem, because Yiyi's parents are very fat.

Yi Yi said to me: When I was a child, when I first went to school, my classmates didn't remember my name, and they all gave me a nickname, Fat Man.

I hate these three words, but the word "fat" has never been taken off from primary school to high school.

I really fought, lost weight and even went on a hunger strike. Once I almost fainted from hunger, but I never lost weight. Do you know what despair is? This is despair. When I was a child, I suffered insults that I could only swallow over and over again. Over and over again, you want to fight, but you really can't resist.

Because of your fat body, prove them right.

And every day, they are destroying your psychological defense, again and again, and then one day, you begin to doubt yourself and criticize yourself. Why am I so fat? Why am I so ugly?

In the end, you denied yourself, even though you were really good-looking, but you didn't believe it.

Some injuries look good, but they will still hurt for life.

four

I don't know when it started, and it became a human nature and a matter of course to discriminate against others' ugliness.

I have always been ugly. I'm not kidding.

My face is covered with acne and my face is rotten. I went to many hospitals and used various remedies and methods, but I still didn't get better.

It's just that that's not what breaks me down the most.

What's more, other people's eyes, other people's laughter, and other people's light responsibilities always hit me.

"God, what happened to her face? As ugly as a toad. "

"She's not sick, is she? She looks terrible. "

"Why so ugly? Let's not play with her. "

During that time, I was under great psychological pressure. I dare not look in the mirror every day, dare not play with others, or even want to talk to others. Even people look at me more, which makes me particularly uncomfortable.

I used to be cheerful. From then on, I became silent and introverted.

Even if I have grown up now, I look much better now.

However, the damage has been done, and I can't easily let go of this past and say thank you.

A few days ago, my friend told me that someone committed suicide in her brother's high school. That child is very young, only 17 years old, and his grades are also very good, one of the best in his grade, and he may even be admitted to Tsinghua Peking University.

But in the end, everyone left.

Although I admit that children are psychologically fragile, I admit that children are so ignorant.

However, when I heard my friend say to me: Do you know? The child who committed suicide is really ugly, so he has been studying hard, but it seems really useless. Many people look at his face, think he is not good without authorization, laugh at him intentionally or unintentionally, and finally crush him.

I am really heartbroken. You still have a bright future. Why punish yourself for the perpetrators?

However, I am more angry. Every time you joke without a bottom line, every time you insult his appearance, you stab him and finally force him to death.

Do you feel uneasy when you dream back at midnight?

five

Even in the end, I still dare not say to you: these pains will eventually pass.

Pain is called pain precisely because it is persistent.

It hurts more than just scars.

Some injuries last a lifetime. Some shadows, in this life, may not be able to get rid of.

However, I still want to say something to these girls and boys who are deeply troubled by their looks:

You are just a little different from others.

You look good. You look good in your heart

It's really not your fault.

So don't say sorry.

As for the perpetrators, Voltaire once said: No snowflake is innocent under an avalanche.

In this world, in fact, the most important thing is karma.

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