All the good students taught by the teacher are joking.

Qi Jinggong said to Yan Zi, "There is a bronzed current in the East China Sea. In this red water, there is a flowering jujube tree.

No result. What's the reason? "

Yan Zi replied, "Once upon a time, Duke Miao of Qin traveled around the world in a dragon boat and wrapped steamed dates in yellow cloth. Dragon Boat Tour to the East China Sea, Qin.

Miao Gong abandoned yellow cloth to wrap dates, which made the yellow cloth red, so the seawater was bronze. Because the dates have been steamed, they are planted.

After that, it only blooms without fruit. "

Gong Jing said discontentedly, "I pretended to ask, why did you make this up for me?"

Yan Zi said: "I heard that people who pretend to ask questions can also give false answers."

This laughed.

Qi Jinggong visited Niu Shan, boarded the capital of Beiqi, and suddenly said:

"How can life be like rushing water, leaving this beautiful mountain and river and heading for death!"

Hearing this, Aiken and Liang Qiu also began to cry. Yan zi is laughing. Qi Jinggong asked him angrily why he was laughing.

Yan Zi replied: "If you let Xian Jun stay in Qi for a long time, then Tai Gong and Huan Gong will be justified for a long time."

Country; If the brave monarch is allowed to occupy Qi for a long time, then Zhuang Gong and Gong Ling will enjoy Qi for a long time! that

Yao, how can you get the position of monarch and stand in the world? And it's not up to you to cry just because of this.

Benevolence and morality. I saw a heartless monarch and two flattering ministers, which is why I laughed in private.

Ah! "

Yan Zi counts crimes.

Qi Jinggong likes catching birds for fun, so he sent Zhu Zou to manage birds, but Zhu Zou accidentally let the birds fly away. Gong Jing was furious.

Fire, ordered to kill him. Yan Zi said, "Zhu Zou has three charges, so let me reprimand him. Then kill him and let him die.

White. "

Qi Jinggong said happily, "Good." So I called candle Zou in.

Solemnly said, "candle Zou! Do you know the crime? You take care of the bird for the king and let it escape. This is the first sin.

Shape; Letting the king kill for birds is the second sin; The news of this incident makes people think that China values birds over people.

People, discredit our king's reputation, this is the third charge. Damn you! "

Say that finish, immediately request Qi Huangong ordered beheading.

But Gong Jing said, "Don't kill him. I took your advice."

- .

There was a man named Huazi in Liyang of Song Dynasty. He was forgetful in middle age. His family asked a historian for divination, but the historian didn't do it for him. towards

Witches pray, but give no hope; See a doctor for treatment, but the doctor won't give treatment.

A Confucian scholar in Lu said: "This disease can be cured not by divination, but by prayer and medicine.

I tried to change his mind, maybe I can recover. "So, let Hanako sleep in the open air, and the patient will ask for clothes; let

Hanako is hungry and the patient wants to eat; Let Hanako live in a dark room, and the patient will ask for sunshine. Confucian scholars are happy to spend money.

His son said, "Your father's illness can be cured. But my prescription is confidential and I can't tell anyone. Please leave me alone.

The patient stayed for seven days. "The son agreed. As a result, Hanako's forgetfulness for many years was cured at once.

However, when Hanako became a wise man, he flew into a rage and said, "I used to be forgetful and didn't know what happened in the world."

To be or not to be. Now I suddenly think of the past, decades of survival, gains and losses, joys and sorrows, good and bad, which has disturbed me, okay?

Be agitated. I am worried about the future survival, gains and losses, sadness and joy, good or bad, disturbing my mind, that precious forgetfulness disease, even if only

Transient amnesia, can you get it again? "

Children's debate day

Confucius traveled to the East and saw two children arguing. Confucius asked what they were arguing about.

A child said, "I think the sun is close to people when it first comes out, and far away from people at noon."

The second child said, "I think the sun is far away from people when it comes out, and noon is near."

A child said, "The sun just came out as big as a parasol on a carriage and as small as a plate at noon. This does not mean that:

Because it is near, it is big, and because it is far, it is small? "

The second child said, "when the sun just came out, people felt cold, and at noon, people felt very hot." Isn't it far and cold, near?

Do you feel hot? "

Confucius was too stunned to answer. The two children smiled and said, "Who said you were a learned man? ! "

See only gold

There was a man in Qi who dreamed of getting gold day and night. One morning, he dressed up and went straight to the gold shop.

When I saw the gold in Huang Chengcheng, I reached for it and left.

The officers arrested him and asked, "There are many people present. Why do you openly rob others of their gold? "

The man replied, "when I took it, I only saw gold, but no one."

Author: Ling Lingba, King of Life County, 2006-5-28 17:57 reply to this speech.

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2 Humorous stories of ancient people ...

Yang bu hits the dog

Yang Bu went out in a white jacket. It was raining, so he took off his coat and went home dressed only in black. His dog thinks it's strange.

People are barking. Yang Bu hit the dog when he got angry. Brother Yang Zhu came out, grabbed his brother and said, "Stop fighting, stop fighting, what are you doing?"

Can you blame the dog? If you let the dog's white hair go out and the black hair come back, I'm afraid you won't recognize it at once. "

Guang Ri Wang Xian

There was a farmer in Song State. He had little knowledge and lived in rags all his life. One spring, he went to work alone in the East Village.

I feel warm in the sun. After returning home, he said to his wife, "The sun is so warm on his back, and so are others."

I don't know yet. If you give it to the monarch, you will definitely get a generous reward. "

The spell doesn't work.

A man said that he had mastered the magic of immortality. The prince heard the news and sent messengers to learn from him. I haven't learned yet.

Well, that man will die. The prince was very angry with the messenger and planned to kill him. One of my minions advised me, "Everyone is afraid of dying for love.

Healthy. The man who claimed to master the immortal spell died first. How can he guarantee that your king will not die? "Yan did not.

Kill the messenger sent to learn magic.

Learn to steal and rob.

A poor man in Song asked a rich man in Qi how to get rich. The rich man said, "I was poor before. now

Life is rich, because I try to steal it every day. Life can be maintained in the first year, and food and clothing are not enough in the second year.

Sorrow, in the third year, my family was full of millet and Man Cang. "

Hearing this, the poor people went back to their hometown to work without asking how they stole it. Every night, he climbs over the wall and digs a hole.

After wanton theft, the family actually became rich. Unexpectedly, the government caught the stolen goods and convicted him, even the original shabby things at home were gone.

Take it. After the thief got out of prison, he went to Qi State and really blamed the rich man.

The rich man smiled and said, "Alas! You misunderstood my meaning. I am in the season of grabbing the sky and land resources. Grow crops and build houses.

The house, catching wild animals and shrimps, I stole and robbed from nature, aboveboard! Those private wealth

Things are obtained by people's labor, and only belong to themselves. Of course you are guilty of theft and robbery. Who do you blame? "

- .

Confucius was trapped between Chen and Cai, and had no food for 10 days. Sometimes he can't even eat wild vegetable soup. He is really hungry.

That's great.

Student Luz stole a cooked pig, and Confucius picked it up and ate it, without asking where the meat came from. Lutz robbed someone else's again

Clothes for wine, Confucius didn't ask where the wine came from, but he drank it as soon as he came up. However, when Lu Aigong greeted him, Confucius showed

Be a gentleman, don't sit on the mat and don't eat uncut meat.

He asked, "What is the difference between the present king and Chen and Cai when they were trapped?"

Confucius replied: "I used to do this to drag out an ignoble existence, but today I do it for charity!" " "

- .

The enemy and I confronted each other, and as soon as the drums rang, they began to fight. Soon, one side abandoned its helmet and armor and turned around and fled. Some soldiers

Escaped 100 step stop, some escaped 50 steps stop. The soldier who escaped 50 steps laughed loudly at the soldier who escaped 100 step:

"Hey, you are afraid of death and run faster than a rabbit!"

Steal a chicken on the moon.

A man steals a chicken from his neighbor every day. Others advised: "This is not what a gentleman should do."

He said, "Let me steal less first, then steal one every month, and I won't steal next year."

Qi people boast

There was a man from the State of Qi who always came back with wine and meat when he went out. His first and second wives asked strangely, "Who are you having dinner with?"

Dinner? "What he said is rich and powerful dignitaries. The first and second wives are very suspicious.

Early the next morning, the first wife secretly followed her husband to observe. I saw him go to the cemetery outside the east gate to beg from mourners.

Eat and drink after the sacrifice. If you are not full, go outside and ask for it. I see!

When she got home, she told her little wife angrily. Two men were cursing their husbands in the yard. The husband waddled home,

And brag to them.

Trade sheep for cattle.

Liang Huiwang was sitting in the hall when someone was passing by with a cow. King Hui asked, "Where are you taking the cow?"

Petunia replied, "Kill it and draw a clock with its blood."

Hui Wangdao: "Let it go! I can't bear to see it scared and shivering, so it was beaten to death without sin.

Poor thing! "

Penny asked, "So there is no need to paint the clock?"

King Hui quickly said, "How can you not draw a clock? Kill another sheep! "