The world's top jokes

1. Two hunters from New Jersey were hunting in the forest. A man suddenly fell to the ground, rolled his eyes, and stopped breathing. Seeing this situation, the companion picked up his mobile phone and called the emergency center. He shouted to the attendant in panic: "My friend is dead! What should I do?" The attendant said gently: "Don't be nervous, don't worry, I'll help you.

But you have to let him We believe he is indeed dead." There was silence. Then there was a gunshot. The hunter picked up the phone again and said, "Okay, what to do next?"

2. A woman got on the bus with a child in her arms. The driver glanced at the child and suddenly said: "I have never seen such an ugly child in my life!" The angry woman walked to the last row, sat down, and said to a man next to her: "This driver just insulted me. !” The man replied: “Go and settle the account with him quickly, and I will hold this ugly monkey for you!”

3. The Canadian aerospace department began to send astronauts into space for the first time, but they were very disappointed. It was quickly reported that the astronauts could not write with a ballpoint pen in the weightless state.

So, it took them 10 years and 12 billion US dollars, and scientists finally invented a ballpoint pen. This kind of pen is suitable for weightlessness, handstand, water, any flat object, and temperatures of minus 300 degrees Celsius. And the Russians have been using pencils in space.

4. The general noticed that a soldier behaved strangely: he always picked up a piece of used paper, looked at it, and then threw it aside, while muttering: "No, that's not what you want. This!" The general ordered a psychiatrist to treat the soldiers. After examination, the psychiatrist wrote: This person has a mental disorder and is not suitable to be a soldier. ?The soldier picked up the medical certificate and said happily: "By the way, this is what I want!"

5. A woman came to the hospital anxiously. "Doctor, show me quickly! When I woke up this morning, I looked in the mirror and I was so scared. My hair was standing on end, my face was wrinkled, my face was pale, my eyes were red, and I looked like a dead person.

What’s wrong with me, doctor?” The doctor examined the patient carefully and said, “Well, I can tell you with confidence that there is no problem with your vision!”