400 words of humorous story, urgently needed!

The embarrassing story of a female college student

I am a college boy. One night, everyone in the room felt that they had nothing to do and couldn’t sleep, so they decided to make harassing phone calls. We called a girl's dormitory number at the Polytechnic University. On the phone, I said in a very depressed tone that I was so depressed that I wanted to commit suicide. The following is part of the live recording: Me: Hello, I'm sorry to bother you. I have no other intention. I just want to find someone to accompany me through the last mile of my life. The other person on the phone: No, you said you were going to commit suicide, right? (I snickered, luckily she didn’t know how thick-skinned I was). Me: Yes, I have been betrayed recently. The money I just withdrew from the bank was stolen. After celebrating my birthday, I got drunk and got into a fight with someone. I opened the person’s head with a brick and found out that He is the dean of our department. I finally managed to raise a turtle, but it crawled into the cafeteria. When I found it, the shell was already left... Then the girl kept trying to persuade me, telling me jokes, and saying some My own embarrassment, haha, it amused me to death! The next morning, we answered the call again, but it was my classmate who spoke to her: My classmate: Hello, I am from the Public Security Bureau of XX District. Which of you answered the call after 12 o'clock last night? Over the phone: It’s me, what’s wrong? (What a coincidence, maybe the phone is right next to her!) My classmate: Oh, yesterday someone here committed suicide by jumping off the building. We found out from his mobile phone that his last call was to you. We want to ask, What's your relationship with him? Over the phone: Don’t you know me? My classmate: Don’t you know me? You fight for more than half an hour without knowing each other? On the phone: I really don’t know him. I’ve never met him. He said he wanted to commit suicide. He dialed a random number. I even talked to him for a long time (listening to the voice, I almost cried)! My classmate: Oh, well, I can’t tell you clearly on the phone, so what’s your name and where do you live? Come over at 3pm! Our bureau is here... Just come and find Captain Liu of the Criminal Investigation Section... Around 2:50 in the afternoon, a few of us also entered the Gulou District Public Security Bureau (not to arrest her, but to see if she was coming, and By the way, to see what she looks like), I saw a pretty girl knocking on the door one by one and asking everywhere: Where is Captain Liu of the Criminal Investigation Department? At 11:30 p.m., we called the phone again. My classmate: Hello, I’m looking for ×××. It happened to be that girl: It’s me, what happened so late? My classmate: I'm from the Public Security Bureau who came to see you yesterday. It's like this. Don't be nervous. Listen to me first. The girl: What’s going on? I went to the Public Security Bureau in the afternoon, but I couldn’t find Captain Liu! My classmate: The situation is a bit complicated now. We just received a call from the hospital. The hospital said that the body of the man who jumped from the building yesterday was missing. They searched for a long time but could not find it. They only found your phone number written in blood on the wall. Number. The woman screamed: Ah... My classmate: Don't panic. Please close the doors and windows. We will come to protect you right away...