Parents' "verbal violence" is the biggest harm to children.

In the matter of destroying children, parents are absolutely gifted with language.

Li Meijin, an expert in education, made a survey on 1000 minors. The results show that children who are often scolded by their parents at home are most likely to have personality defects, among which 25.7% children feel inferior and depressed, 22. 1% children are cold-hearted and 56.5% children are grumpy.

Jimmy said, "A child would rather be stabbed by a cactus than hear the cynicism of an adult."

Because the superficial wounds are visible, but the inner injuries are invisible.

The killer who destroys a child's life is not a game, not fun, but the "language violence" of parents.

1

Language violence is a lifelong pain for children.

Foucault once said in Madness and Civilization: Under the constraints of various social norms, most people have given up physical violence, thus choosing a more civilized violence-verbal violence, and continue to infringe on others in this way.

Compared with physical violence, verbal violence is more harmful! According to an expert study, 68% of parents in China have hurt their children verbally.

And verbal violence will become a lifelong pain for children. Safekids, a global child safety organization, has released such a poster.

The first child is holding a 30-point test paper. The whole person was timid and nervous, and what his parents said to him was engraved on him:

Did the pig eat your brain? How dare you go home after such an exam?

The second child has just finished playing a good football match with his friends, and his mud stains are still there, which makes his parents very angry: they have never seen such a dirty child. Did you pick it up from the garbage?

The third child looks at you helplessly with a broken vase in his hand, and his eyes are empty, as if waiting for his parents' scolding at any time.

The inscription on his body is: "Hands and feet are everywhere every day. Were you a troublemaker in your last life?" It's really bad to have you at home! "

These words on the poster are not only engraved on the children, but also deeply engraved in their hearts. Children who have been hurt by verbal violence have a very high probability of excessive behavior.

Recently, a video was circulated on the Internet:

In foreign supermarkets, my son is playing games, and my father is very angry that his son is doing nothing.

He immediately said to his son, "Don't live if you dare" and put a loaded pistol on the counter.

The father never imagined that his son would pull the trigger on his head at the moment he turned to commit suicide.

No one knows what the young man went through before he died. Probably despised by my father countless times. Maybe he's desperate for himself. It happened at that node that my father's sentence "Don't live if you dare" broke through all the defense lines in his heart, next to the most deadly weapon.

So a fresh life ended. ......

Cold words are a kind of violence, an invisible weapon to kill people. No blood, no trace, but enough to destroy a person.

2

How do we destroy children with verbal violence?

When children are young, parents are the gods in their hearts, and children believe everything their parents say.

As a professor said in the book Poisoned Parents, "Children don't distinguish between facts and jokes. They will believe what their parents say to themselves and turn it into their own ideas. "

If parents always say some vicious words to their children, there is a high probability that their children will commit crimes when they grow up.

The 57th Cannes International Creative Festival silver prize work "Language Violence" is a proof.

Director Xie Yong made an investigation on six juvenile delinquents in Shenyang Juvenile Correctional Institution, and found that they all suffered verbal violence from their parents in their childhood!

Make a fool of yourself, pig brain, garbage, why don't you die ......

These bitter words pushed these children into endless darkness and eventually led to a big mistake.

There is a boy 12 years old in the video. His parents separated when he was very young. Obviously it's not his fault, but his mother often scolds him: let him die and call himself a waste.

Perhaps their parents never thought that these words would push their children to the road of crime.

In particular, parents should know that all verbal violence has no educational component. Because in essence, parents just vent their anger and resentment from above.

A search on the Internet shows that there are many cases in which children commit suicide because of verbal violence by their parents.

On the afternoon of April 17, 2065438 10, a child of 17 years old had an argument with his parents when crossing Lupu Bridge. The child immediately got off the bridge and jumped, and within 5 seconds, the fresh life was gone.

2065438+200765438+271October 27th, which happened to be New Year's Eve, a child aged 15 in Zhenxiong, Yunnan, committed suicide by taking pesticides because he could not bear his father's aggressiveness.

The suicide note is full of hatred for his father and disappointment with the world.

20 16, Xiao Si, a senior three student in quxian county, Dazhou, Sichuan province, disappeared on the third day after the college entrance examination because he was abused by his father. His body was found in Qujiang three days later.

The night before he committed suicide, he posted more than a dozen comments on qq space, writing: "He wants to get the love of his parents, but he will never get it."

There is also Xiaoying, a 14-year-old Chengdu girl, who was madly criticized by her parents for coming home too late. Later, the girl jumped from the sixth floor and died after being rescued.

Many times, we think that our children can beat and scold at will, but in fact, their hearts are not so strong that they can't digest their parents' unfriendly humiliation and trampling on their personality.

Long-term unequal treatment will lead children to two paths: one is to vent their hatred inward, self-harm or suicide, and the other is to vent their hatred outward, beating or killing people.

If you love children, please stop verbal violence, because it is the number one killer who destroys their relationship.

three

The most perfect education is to accept the imperfections of children.

Every parent has a perfect child in his heart. We try our best to educate children according to this standard and let them live and grow according to their own ideas.

As we all know, every child is different, just as there are no two identical leaves in the world, they will all be imperfect, and it is even more impossible to fully grow into what their parents want.

Educator Hull Maintenance said:

"People are all the same at birth. Just because of the differences in environment and education, some people may become geniuses, while others may become ordinary people or even fools.

Even ordinary children will become extraordinary people as long as they are properly educated. "

We should carefully protect children's innocent hearts like dewdrops on lotus leaves.

Don't ask children to be perfect, it is irrational and impossible.

You must treat him as a "person" equally, not a "weak person" to conquer.

Edison was kicked out of school at the age of eight because the teacher thought Edison was a "moron".

And mother don't think so, said to Edison:

"The teacher says you are an imbecile, but I don't agree with him. You shouldn't go to school from tomorrow.

I swear in front of the teacher today that I will educate you well at home. I have made up my mind that you will be the first person in the world no matter what. Do you have this confidence?

Edison said, "Mom, I am willing to swear that I will do something great, which will make the teacher who called me an imbecile feel chilling." "

Later, Edison succeeded. Referring to his mother, he said, "I am especially grateful to my mother for defending me and my teacher. From then on, I decided to live up to my mother's expectations! "

Every child in the world has a positive heart, depending on how parents guide him. They all came to this world with a mission.

We should accept our children's shortcomings as we accept our imperfect selves!

Let the children grow up in their own time zone, take it easy, take it easy, and you will be happy when the children are comfortable.

There is a saying in Ephesians: "Don't utter a dirty word."

Children's world is a blank sheet of paper. When you insult, he will completely absorb it and give it to others.

The goal of parents' education for their children is to make them become a sound person.

I believe that when you treat your child with tenderness and love, he will feel the least harm, the greatest kindness, the strongest self-confidence and the fullest sense of security in this world!

Please stop verbal violence, from now on!

When you finish reading this article, I hope you can share it, so that more parents can learn from it, so that the world can have more love and less harm to children!