Is there a funny dialogue between the characters of the three countries?

China version of Romance of the Three Kingdoms (quoting Stephen Chow's classic dialogue) is funny.

Cao Cao

Once there was a doctor named Hua Tuo standing in front of me. I didn't cherish it. I didn't regret it until I got sick. This is the most troublesome thing in the world. If God gives me another chance to start over, I will say three words to the doctor to help me. If I have to add a time limit to my life, I hope it is 500 years.

Liu Bei

There was once a general Lu Xun standing in front of me, and I didn't pay attention. I didn't regret it until the fire destroyed the camp. The most painful thing in the world is this. If God gives me another chance to start over, I will say three words to God: It's raining. If I have to add a range to this rain, I hope it is 700 miles.

Sun quan

Once there was a big-eared Liu Bei standing in front of me. I did not kill him. I didn't regret it until I ran away from my sister. The most shameful thing in the world is this. If God gives me another chance, I will say three words to Zhou Gongjin to catch Liu Bei. If there must be a purpose to catch Liu Bei, I hope it is Jingzhou.

Guan Yu

There was once a white Lumen standing in front of me. I didn't take precautions. I didn't regret it until I lost Jingzhou The most tragic thing in the world is this. If God gives me another chance, I will say three words to Fu Shiren. If you must add a height to cigarettes, I hope it is the moon.

Zhang Fei

Once, two thieves, Fan and Zhang, stood in front of me and I fell asleep. I don't regret it until I lose my mind. The most cowardly thing in the world is this. If God gives me another chance, I will say three words to myself without snoring. If we must set a time for not snoring, I hope it is a night.

Zhao yun

There was once a Liu Adou in front of me, and I saved him. I didn't regret it until Adou grew up. The most helpless thing in the world is this. If God gives me another chance to start over, I will say three words to myself and kill him. If I have to give Liu Xuande an explanation, I hope it is suffocating.

Zhuge Liang

There was a Masu standing in front of me, and I used him. I didn't regret it until I lost the street pavilion. The most wrong thing in the world is this. If God gives me another chance to start over, I will say to myself that I don't need him for three words. If I have to change someone for the street pavilion, I hope it's Wang Ping.

Sima yi

Once a city stood in front of me, and I didn't rush in. I didn't regret it until I learned it was empty. The most regrettable thing in the world is this. If God gives me a second chance, I will say three words to Si Mazhao. If I have to take some troops to Si Mazhao, I hope it's 5,000.