Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Original Yuan, a compulsory course of Chinese in senior high school.

Original Yuan, a compulsory course of Chinese in senior high school.

First discount

(The net name is disguised as Dr. Celulu, Shi Yun) Practise medicine with heart and prescribe medicine according to materia medica. The dead doctor is not alive, and the living doctor is dead. My last name is Lu, and I am a good doctor. They are all called Dr. Lu Se. There is a pharmacognosy bureau in the south gate of Shanyang County. There is a mother-in-law Cai in the city. I borrowed twelve taels of silver from him, and Li Ben should pay him back. I have asked for this money several times, but I have nothing to pay him back.

If you don't come, then go. If you come, I have an idea! I'm going to sit down at this drugstore and see who's here. (Bo Er, Yun) Grandma Cai. I have been living in Yang Shan County, and I have been very quiet. Thirteen years ago, Xiucai Dou left Duan to be my daughter-in-law, and changed her nickname to ... I haven't been married for two years, and I don't want my child to die of weakness.

If a wife is widowed three years earlier, the funeral will be eliminated. I told my wife that I was going to ask a doctor named celluloid outside the city for money. (Doing business, cloud) Ge turned the corner and came to his house early. Is Dr. Lu Se at home? (Lu) Grandma, come back quickly. (Boyun) My two pieces of silver are long-term. Please pay me back.

Mother-in-law, I have no money at home. Come with me to get the money and pay it back to you. (Boyun) I'll go with you. (Doing business) (Lu) When you come here, there are no orientals and no westerners. If you don't start here, what are you waiting for? I brought a rope. That mother-in-law, who called you? (Boyun) Where is it? (doing leb pediatrics.

The old man and the donkey on the vice net rushed up, and Dr. Sailu came down in a panic. Dad, mother-in-law, fight for strangulation. (Bo Laoyun) Mother-in-law, where are you from? What's your last name? Why did this man strangle you? (Boyun) My old surname is Cai. I live in the city, but there is a widow who lives alone.

I asked Dr. celluloid for twenty taels of silver today because he lacked me. Who thinks he thinks I'm not going anywhere and wants to strangle me? Thanks to the money. If I hadn't met that old man and my brother, I would have died of old age! Dad, did you hear what he said? He has a wife at home! He must thank me for saving his life.

No, if you want this woman, I want his wife. What is the difference? You tell him. (Bo Laoyun) That mother-in-law, you have no husband and I have no family. Will you be my wife? (Boleyun) What words! When I get home, I will prepare more money to thank you. (Zhang Lueryun) How dare you cheat me of money on purpose? Dr. Lu Se's rope is still there. I'll still strangle you.

(Holding the rope) (Boyun) Brother, wait for me to think about our business slowly! (Zhang) What are you thinking? You follow my father. I want your wife. (Bohr walks behind the cloud) I disobeyed him and he strangled me again. Stop, stop, stop. You two, come home with me. (The same below) Shang, Yun) My surname is Dou, and the fine print carries the cloud. My ancestral home is the trainer Chuzhou.

My mother died at the age of three and I left my father at the age of seven. My father married my mother-in-law Cai as his daughter-in-law, changed my name and married my husband at the age of seventeen. It's a pity that my husband passed away, but it was three years early. I am twenty years old now.

There is a doctor celluloid outside the south gate. He lacks my mother-in-law's money. He should have paid twenty taels, but he refused to pay it back several times. My mother-in-law asked for it herself today. Dou E, your life is too bitter! (singing)

Lu Xian's lips are full of leisure worries. She has been banned for several years. Who knows? If God knows my reasons, I'm afraid I won't be with God.

Hunjianglong asked when it was dusk and when it was daytime. When would they forget to eat and sleep? Most of them came from last night's dream and shared today's heart. What makes people cry is the horizontal embroidery of flowers, and what makes people heartbroken is the hanging of a makeup building in the moonlight. If you grow up, you won't be able to focus on your heart, and you will feel bored and have a long mood.

(Cloud) It seems so sad, I don't know when! (singing)

Isn't the oil gourd a role that should bear a lifetime of worries? Who has no end like me! You know, the human heart is not like running water. After my mother died at the age of three, I was separated from my father at the age of seven. By marrying a roommate, he can pull out short chips; My left-behind mother-in-law always leaves the room empty. Who asked who to look at?

Isn't happiness in the world not enough to burn incense in previous lives, and today is also a disaster? Advise the present to practice in the afterlife. I will take care of this woman, I will keep this filial piety, and my words will definitely get a response.

(Cloud) My mother-in-law has gone to ask for money. Why didn't she come back sooner or later? (Bo Er and the old man are on the donkey) (Bo Er Yun) Your father and son are at the door, waiting for me to go in first. (Zhang Luer-yun) Grandma, go in first and tell her that her son-in-law is at the door. (Bohr sees Zheng Danke) (Zheng Yundan) Grandma is back. Do you eat? (Bohr is a cry baby, Yun) Baby, please teach me how to make waves! (Zheng Dan sings)

Why can't tears flow for a long time? Isn't it just fighting with others for debts? I quickly greeted here in a flurry, and he wanted to say why. (Boleyun) Answer shyly and teach me how to make waves! (Zheng Dan sings), I saw him half wandering and half ugly.

(Cloud) Grandma, why are you crying? (Boyun) I asked Dr. Sailu for money, but he told me to go where no one was, and he tried to strangle me. Thanks to Lao and his son Zhang Maolv, he saved my life. That Zhang always asks me for a husband because of such troubles.

Mother-in-law, I'm afraid I can't get it! Think about me again: it's not that I don't have food, clothes, money and debt, and I can't be forced; Besides, people over 60 are too old to have a husband. (Boyun) Boy, what you said is not true! But I owe him my life.

I also said: When I get home, I will give you more money and things to thank you for saving my life. I don't know how he knew that my family had a wife, saying that my wife had no husband and his father and son had no wife. This is a perfect match for lucky opportunities. If I don't obey him, I will still be strangled. At that time, I panicked. Don't say I promised him. Even you might marry him. Son, this is also out of helplessness. Grandma, listen to me. (singing)

The flowers in the backyard should choose a good sun to avoid evil spirits, and the family sacrifice hall should cultivate incense. There is a white bun like frost and snow, how can it be wrapped like a cloud? "Women can't stay" is really strange. You are about sixty now, but nothing can stop you in middle age! Old love is a hook, and both newlyweds are interested, which makes people laugh!

(Bo Yun) My life was saved by his father and son. Now, I don't care about other people's jokes. (Zheng Dan sings)

Young man, although you have been rescued by him and him, isn't it because bamboo shoots are young that you have to draw a flying moth eyebrow as your spouse? I think your husband left me a piece of land for you. I'll buy you a field. There will be porridge in the morning and evening, clothes and fur in cold and hot weather. I hope you are widowed and helpless, and your mother and son will grow old together. So is my father-in-law, so mutually assured destruction!

(Boyun) Honey, he's just staying at the door now. Happy events are in a hurry. How can I get him back? (Zheng Dan sings)

Parasitic grass tells you that he is anxious to be happy, and I will worry about you: I am worried that I can't swallow sex wine, I am worried that my eyes are dizzy and I can't turn the concentric button, and I am worried that I can't sleep well on the lotus mattress. If you want to lead music to painting, I dare to fall behind others in this marriage.

(Boyun) Baby, don't mention me again. His father and son are waiting at the door, water under the bridge. If you don't find a son-in-law too! Grandma, if you want to confess yourself, I don't want a son-in-law. (Boyun) Is that for the son-in-law? Get his father and son to come to the door and teach me how to do it. (Zhang Lueryun) We called home today.

Bare hat, today is the groom; The sleeves are very narrow, so be a charming guest today. Good son-in-law, good son-in-law, don't waste, don't waste. (Joined the worship department at the same age) (Zheng Dan did not worship the department, cloud) Stop that fellow! (singing)

Make money. I think this woman always trusts that man. My mother-in-law was afraid of losing her virginity, so she hired a village father and got a half sentence today. (Donkey grimaces, cloud) Look at my father and son, both of whom are of such a figure, and I have chosen a son-in-law. Don't miss the good times. I will meet the bride with you early.

(Zheng Dan is also welcome, with a snort), but you will kill Yan. Grandma, don't you know shame! My father-in-law ran into the yamen and rushed to the state. The struggling copper bucket family had everything. How can you bear to teach a donkey to feel when you think of your father-in-law? (Zhang donkey talks about the topic, pushes it down and sings) It's not a woman who ends up without a husband! (2) (Boyun) Don't worry.

Don't you have the grace to live, so I won't consider repaying you? It's just that my wife is angry. Since she won't recruit your son, how can I recruit your old man? I'm cooking good wine and food now, and I'll leave you and your son at home until I persuade my wife slowly. Don't do it until he changes his mind.

(Zhang Luer Yun) Bite! It's Huanghua's daughter, who just pulled it. There is no need to make such a fuss. I'm willing to do it! I swear in front of you: I don't want him to be a wife in my life, I'm not a good person! As the saying goes, I have seen thousands of beautiful women in Qian Qian, unlike this young man, who is very tired.

I saved your old life from death. How can you give up and refuse to stay in your body? (the same below)

Second discount

(Dr. Seru, Shi Yun) This boy was born a doctor. There are too many doctors. He doesn't know how many people have died. Why don't you close the store for a day, for fear of being reported? In the city, there is a woman from Cai's family. As soon as she spent twenty taels of silver, she repeatedly asked for it, and she got a little twisted.

It is also because of my short wit that I made money for him in a deserted village. I bumped into two men who didn't know their names and shouted, "How dare you be a slut and strangle civilians without authorization!" " I was so scared that I lost my rope and let go. Although nothing happened overnight, I finally felt lost and lost my soul; Only when you know that human life is a matter of life can you regard it as dust on the wall? From now on, if you change your profession, you will get rid of sin and study.

All the lives that died before were handed over to him with a scroll of scriptures. That's how Cyrus treated that boy. Just to extort twenty taels of silver from Grandma Cai and earn her a secluded place, she will strangle him. Who wants to meet two people to save him? If there is another debt collection season, how can I meet him? As the saying goes, "Thirty-six plans, walking is the best policy.

"I am so happy, I am alone, and there are still a lot of troubles; If you don't pack your soft luggage, pack a bag and quietly hide somewhere else to make a living, wouldn't it be clean! (On donkeys, cloud) Have a donkey. But Naina Doue refused to follow me in any way; Now that the old woman is ill, I beg to take poison with her and let her die. At least this young man will be my wife.

(Doing business, cloud) Living here, people in the city have wide eyes and ears and many mouths. If you see me begging for poison, don't shout out something? I saw a drugstore outside the south gate the other day. It's calm here, just in time for medicine. Brother Taiyi, I'm here to ask for medicine. (Lu Se Yi Yun) What medicine do you want? (Zhang Lueryun) I beg for poison.

(Sailu Medical Cloud) Who dares to mix poison with you? This fellow is really bold! (Zhang Lueryun) Are you really unwilling to give me medicine? If I'm not with you, why should you treat me? (pulled by a donkey) Hey, it wasn't you who killed Grandma Cai the day before yesterday! You said I didn't recognize you. I'm going to drag you to the authorities!

(Dr. Sailu is a panic doctor, Yun) Brother, let me go. There is medicine, there is medicine. (Zhang Lueryun, a pharmacist) Since I have medicine, I will spare you. Exactly: "If you want to let go, you must let go and forgive others." (below)

(Sailu Medical Cloud) No bad luck! The man who asked for medicine just now is to save the woman. I took this poison with him today, and the more this happens in the future, the more it will implicate me. Close the pharmacy early and go to Zhuozhou to sell rat poison.

(2) (I went to Bor to work in several departments) (I went to a donkey with an old man and said) The old man came to Grandma Cai's house and wanted to make a pin, but his wife insisted on it. That mother-in-law has been living at home with my father and son, only saying "good things are not busy", and then slowly persuading her daughter-in-law; Who thought that mother-in-law was ill again?

Boy, have you counted my two constellations? When will the Hongluan Tianxi arrive? (Zhang Luer Yun) Look at the day when you are happy! Only bet on skills, do it, and do it yourself. (Bo Laoyun) Honey, Grandma Cai has been ill for several days. I'll accompany you to ask about your illness. (See Bo Er, Yun) How are you today, Grandma? (Boyun) I feel very sick.

(Bo Laoyun) What do you want to eat? (Boyun) I want to eat some mutton soup.

Dear, tell Dou E to make some mutton soup for her mother-in-law. (Donkey goes to Gu Men) Dou E, my mother-in-law wants to eat mutton soup. Please arrange it for later. (Zheng Dan holds soup, cloud) My body is Dou E. My mother-in-law was unhappy and wanted mutton soup, so I personally arranged to eat it with her.

Mother-in-law, I'm a widow's family, so I have to avoid suspicion in everything. How can I take in the donkey and its son? If people who are not relatives or relatives live together, won't it cause outsiders to talk about it? Mother-in-law, don't secretly agree to his marriage, even I am exhausted. I think this woman's heart is hard to protect! (singing)

A flower of Lu Nan will stay for a lifetime, and he will sleep in the middle of the night. He came from Zhang Lang and later became Li Lang's wife. There are first-class women who don't talk about family planning, but ask about leisure; After a while, I didn't understand the mechanism of fighting wind, which gave me some insights.

Liangzhou No.7 is like Zhuo, and this is like Meng Guang. How clever it is to hide the skull and feet! It's hard to know what to say, but I don't know without doing it. The old grace has been forgotten, and the new joy is appropriate; The soil vein on the grave is still wet, and the shelf has changed into new clothes.

Where is the sorrow, crying down the Great Wall? Where are you willing to splash water when washing yarn? Where is the stone that turned to stone when going up the mountain? Pathetic, shameful! The woman's family is straight and heartless. What a dissolute run, less ambition, and lost the predecessors there, not to mention a hundred steps.

(Cloud) Grandma, the mutton soup is ready. You should eat some waves. (Zhang Llewellyn) Let me get it. (For tasting, Yun) There is less salt and vinegar in it. Go get it. (Xia) (Zhang Lvshi's Pharmacy) (Shang, Yun) This is salt and vinegar! (Zhang) You pour it. (Zheng Dan sings)

You say less salt and less vinegar is tasteless, and pepper is crispy. I hope my mother will recover soon, and a cup of soup is better than nectar, so that she will be happy and safe.

(Bo Laoyun) Honey, did you drink mutton soup? (Zhang Luer-yun) There is soup, you can take it. Grandma, have some soup. (Boyun) I'm tired of you. I am vomiting now. Don't drink this soup, your old man.

(Bo Laoyun) This soup is specially for you. Don't eat it, have a bite. (Boyun) I won't eat, you can give it to your old man. (Balao Chike) (Zheng Dan sings)

He Xinlang, please eat method one, and eat first with a Taoist priest. This speech is also ugly, but I'm not angry! What do you think is the similarity between his family and ours? Why don't you remember the old relationship between husband and wife, and there have been hundreds of followers? Mother-in-law, don't you think that "gold floats in the world, white hair makes old friends rare", so old kindness and new knowledge can't be compared?

If you want to stay in the same grave for a hundred years, where will the cold clothes thousands of miles away be sent? (Bo Laoyun) Why do I feel groggy when I drink this soup? (Be a major) (Bo Er panic, cloud) Your old man is cautious, and you are struggling to support him. (crying, cloud) Wu is not dead! (Zheng Dan sings) It's sad to fight frogs. Ignore them. The cycle of life and death

I feel that this disease is worth the current situation, but the symptoms of cold and wet summer, or hunger and fatigue, are well known. Life is a matter of heaven and earth, how can others replace it? Life is not a lifetime. What are you talking about, a family, a plan? There is no goat wine and satin, and there is no bonus gift; Put your hand down. Letting go is like giving up.

It's not that Dou E is disobedient and afraid of others' comments. Why don't you listen to our advice, admit your bad luck, leave a coffin, pack some cloth, walk out of our house and send it to his grave. This is not your husband and wife telling you what to do when you were young. In fact, I don't care about my relatives, and I don't have any tears.

If you rest, your heart will be intoxicated and your mind will be infatuated, so you will complain and cry. (Zhang Luer Yun) Good luck! You killed my dad, so stay calm! (Boleyun) Son, what's going on? (Zheng) What medicine do I have? When he asked for salt and vinegar, he poured it into his soup. (singing)

This cross-tailed guy moved our mother to take you in, so who are you going to scare when you die? (Zhang Lueryun) My old man said that my son's medicine was dead, and people didn't believe him. (Call it Ke, Yun) Listen to the neighbor say: kill my father with medicine! (Boyun) Come on, don't make a fuss, you'll scare me to death! (Zhang Llewellyn) Are you terrible? (Boleyun) You can be afraid.

(Zhang Lueryun) Do you want to spare? You know, please forgive me. You taught Dou E to obey me and told me to kiss my husband three times, and I spared him.

(Boleyun) Baby, please follow him. Mother-in-law, how can you say such a thing! It is difficult for me to marry two horses at the same time. I thought men had been married for two years in Japan, but I was taught to remarry. Actually, I can't.

Dou E, you killed my father with drugs. Do you want a formal divorce? Want a private vacation? (Zheng) How can you be an official? How can life be a private holiday? (Zhang Luer-yun) If you want to be dismissed, you will be dragged to court and pushed around!

Your thin body can't stand the torture, for fear that you won't confess to the criminal who killed my father! If you want a private holiday, it's cheaper for you to marry me earlier. I didn't kill your father, so I'd rather go with you.

(Zhang Lver dragged Zheng Dan and Bohr down) I am an official, but I am better than others. I'm here to complain about gold and silver. If the boss is a brush, he won't go out at home. Xiaguan is the prefect of Chuzhou. This morning, I went to the hall and sat in my office, hugging each other and having a drink.

(Just waiting for a drink) (Zhang Luer drags Zheng Dan and Bor to the cloud) Tell me, tell me! (Just waiting for the cloud) Bring it here. (See you kneeling alone, Yun) Please get up. (Only Hou Yun) Xianggong, he is an informer. How can he kneel? You don't know, it's my parents who complain.

(What are you waiting for, Gu Yun) Who is the plaintiff? Is that the defendant? Tell the truth! (Zhang Lver said) The villain is the plaintiff Zhang Lver. He sued this wife, Dou E, and put poison in the mutton soup, which killed my old man.

This is Grandma Cai, my stepmother. Hope adults and villains decide! (Lonely Cloud) Who poisoned it? (Zheng) Don't be a little woman. (Boyun) Don't be an old woman's personnel either.

It's none of my business. (Lonely cloud) No, dare I poison it? (Zheng) My mother-in-law is not his stepmother either. His surname is Zhang and my surname is Cai. My mother-in-law was strangled by Dr. Sailu, and Dr. Sailu earned money from her. But his father and son saved their lives.

So, the mother-in-law took the father and son home and raised food for a lifetime to repay his kindness. Who knows that the two of them have evil intentions, pretending that their mother-in-law made a pin and trying to force the little woman to be his wife. The young woman, Yuan Youfu's wife, is not full of filial piety and insists on it. When her mother-in-law was ill, the little woman arranged mutton soup for her to eat.

I don't know where the donkey got the poison, so I took the soup and only said that there was less salt and vinegar. I turned the little woman around and secretly poisoned her. Fortunately, my mother-in-law suddenly vomited and didn't want soup. Let him eat; After a few bites, she died, without any interference to the little woman. I only hope that adults will hold up their mirrors and make decisions for little women! (singing)

Master Muyangguan, you take care of my courage, like a mirror and water. That soup is full of five flavors except Pepsi. He tasted it and fell into a coma. It's not that I'm unreasonable in court, it's that adults are teaching me what to say for no reason.

(Zhang Lueryun) Adult details: His surname is Cai, and my surname is Zhang. His mother-in-law won't take my father's needle. What is he doing with my father and son at home? Although my wife is young, she is very naughty and not afraid to fight. (Lonely cloud) Everyone is a bitch. If you don't fight, you won't talk Left and right, hit me with a big stick! (Just wait for Zheng Dan, spray water three times) (Zheng Dan sings)

I can't stand cursing Yu Lang, a heartless stick. Grandma, you have to do it yourself. Who do you blame him for? Advise everyone in the world to marry a woman before and after marriage, take me as an example.

Thank the emperor! Who sang Yang disease? I can't help flying. Just stopped, just woke up, and was in a coma. Beaten and handcuffed, bullied and forced, one stick, one blood and one skin.

Picking tea songs makes my flesh fly, my blood dripping, and my stomach is wronged. Then where did my little woman get the poison? Oh, my God, what a pity!

(Lonely Cloud) You don't talk? (Zheng) It was not that little woman who was entrusted with poisoning. (Lonely Cloud) Since it's not, you and I will hit that bitch! (Zheng Dan is busy trying to understand the clouds) Stay, stay, stay, don't hit my mother-in-law. I wish I had confessed. I drugged my father-in-law to death.

(Lonely cloud) Since he confessed, he drew a crouch, put a cangue on it and put him on death row. On the same day, he was sentenced to "chop" and handed over to Cao Dian. (Bohr is crying, Yun) Dou E, it's all because of me. Kill me painlessly! (Zheng Dan sings)

Huang Zhongwei, I have always been a stubborn ghost. How can I let you go? You are a slutty thief! I think people can't be bullied, and I don't know what the world knows. I will fight to the end and compete to the end. What is it now? Willing to admit killing my father-in-law, I confessed. Grandma, how can I save you if I don't die? (Only remanded for trial)

(Zhang donkey kowtows, cloud) Master Xie Qingtian has the final say! Kill Dou E tomorrow, and I will avenge myself on that scoundrel's father. (Bor cries, cloud) Tomorrow, Cao Zhong in the city will kill Dou E's child, and it won't hurt me! (Lonely cloud) Zhang Lver and Cai are both on bail, waiting for you. Hug left and right, break up and go back to the private house. (the same below)

Extended data:

Dou Eyuan is a drama created by Guan Hanqing, a dramatist in Yuan Dynasty, and it was written in the tenth year of Wanli in Ming Dynasty (1582).

The whole play is 60% off, and it is about a weak widow, Dou E, who was framed by hooligans, beaten by unconscious officials, forced to confess, became a murderer and was sentenced to beheading. Before his execution, Dou E was filled with grief and indignation, and made three vows: blood spilled everywhere, snow fell in June, and there was no drought for three years. Sure enough, Dou E's injustice touched the earth, and the three vows were realized one by one.

The play shows the tragic situation that the lower class people are trampled on and have nowhere to complain, accuses corrupt officials of ignoring the dark reality of human life, vividly depicts the female image of Dou E, and embodies Guan Hanqing's language style full of human feelings and true colors.

Time background

In the Yuan Dynasty, some Mongolian ministers colluded with local officials to take bribes and pervert the law in order to meet the extravagant life and military needs of Mongolian nobles. Under the cruel class oppression and national oppression, the working people of all ethnic groups live a miserable life, especially the discriminated Han people and southerners, and there are countless unjust cases.

Guan Hanqing is one of some literati with a sense of justice who are dissatisfied with the dark rule of the government and expose the evil of officialdom and social injustice in the form of zaju. He wrote what he saw and heard and the tragic experience of the people into his play "Earthshaking Sin and Injustice".

References:

Baidu Encyclopedia-Feel the injustice of Dou E