Ancient classic witty celebrity jokes

NO.1 Ji Xiaolan’s witty response to Qianlong

Once, Emperor Qianlong wanted to make a joke to embarrass Ji Xiaolan, so he asked: "Ji Qing, what do you mean by the words loyalty and filial piety?"

Ji Xiaolan replied: "If the king wants his minister to die, the minister has to die, which is loyalty; if the father wants his son to die, the son has to die, which is filial piety."

Qianlong immediately said: "As a king, I order you to die now!"

"This... I accept the decree!" In a hurry, Ji Xiaolan had no idea of ??the emperor's intention and had to respond.

"Then how do you plan to die?"

"Jump into the river."

"Okay, go ahead!"

Suddenly , all the officials were extremely surprised. No one expected that such a change would suddenly happen, and they were all worried about Ji Xiaolan for a while. However, Ji Xiaolan, who was extremely witty, walked around outside and came back after a while.

Qianlong hurriedly asked: "Why are you not dead?"

Ji Xiaolan replied: "When I arrived at the river and was about to jump down, who knew that Qu Yuan jumped from the water? I came over and patted me on the shoulder and said, "Xiaolan, this is your fault. I think back then, King Chu Huai was a foolish king who refused to defend his loyalty and treachery, so I had to die. But now, the emperor Shengming, if you are." If he is really dead, won't future generations say that the emperor killed Zhongliang? You should go back and ask the emperor if he is a fool. If the emperor says yes, it won't be too late for you to die again! "Chen thought, what Doctor Qu said makes sense. I came back to report to the emperor and ask him to make a decision."

Qianlong couldn't help laughing and said, "Ji Xiaolan is such a eloquent man, I'm convinced."

NO.2 Li Bai’s humor

Yang Guozhong, the prime minister of the Tang Dynasty, was jealous of Li Bai’s talents and always tried to ridicule Li Bai.

One day, Yang Guozhong came up with a way to ask Li Bai to play a three-step sentence. As soon as Li Bai entered the door, Yang Guozhong said: "Two apes were cutting wood in the mountain and asked the monkeys how to saw?" "Saw" is a joke of "sentence", and "monkey" alludes to Li Bai.

After hearing this, Li Bai smiled slightly and said: "The prime minister started and if he can't match within three steps, I lose."

Yang Guozhong wanted to finish the three steps quickly, but he just took the step. As soon as he took a step, Li Bai pointed to Yang Guozhong's feet and shouted: "A horse is hidden in the mud. See how the beast moves out of the hoof?"

Yang Guozhong wanted to take advantage, but was humiliated by Li Bai instead.

NO.3 Ji Xiaolan’s clever interpretation of “Old Man”

One day in midsummer, Ji Xiaolan and several colleagues were reviewing manuscripts in the library.

Because Ji Xiaolan was obese and could not withstand the scorching heat, she took off her shirt, was bare-chested, and put her braids on the top of her head.

Unfortunately, at this time, Emperor Qianlong slowly walked into the pavilion.

When Ji Xiaolan realized it, it was too late to put on clothes, so he quickly shrank his neck and got under the desk.

In fact, Qianlong had seen Ji Xiaolan's actions a long time ago, but he pretended not to know and deliberately chatted with other officials in the library, with no intention of leaving.

Later, he sat at the desk again and waved his hand to signal other officials to be silent.

In the scorching summer heat, Ji Xiaolan was sweating profusely under the table. He couldn't stand it any longer. He heard the silence outside and thought Qianlong had left, so he stretched out his head to peek outside and asked his colleagues. They asked, "Is the old man gone?" As soon as he finished speaking, he found that the emperor was sitting next to him!

Qianlong couldn't help but laugh after hearing this, and his colleagues couldn't help but laugh.

Qianlong pretended to be angry: "Ji Xiaolan, you are so rude, how could you say such frivolous and casual words! Why do you call me 'old man'? If you explain it properly, I will forgive you, otherwise I will kill you." Your head!"

All colleagues were worried about Ji Xiaolan.

Ji Xiaolan is truly worthy of having iron teeth and bronze teeth. He calmly replied: "Your Majesty has a long life, isn't this called 'old'? You stand upright, supreme. Isn't this a 'head'? Heaven and earth are supreme." The earth is the emperor's parents, aren't you the 'son'? Aren't these together the 'old man'?" After hearing his explanation, Qianlong immediately turned from anger to joy. Instead of punishing him, he rewarded him.