Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - I always fart in the classroom, and I don't think fart stinks, but I don't know if others can smell it, and I'm embarrassed to ask, but if the toilet doesn't come out again,
I always fart in the classroom, and I don't think fart stinks, but I don't know if others can smell it, and I'm embarrassed to ask, but if the toilet doesn't come out again,
Research shows that normal people fart about 1 to 15 times a day. People with a lot of fart have abnormal digestive function. Some people fart dozens of times every day or even every hour; Others constantly "leak" and fart countless times. It's not that I can't hold my fart or lack public morality.
With the prosperity and affluence, China people's food has greatly increased in quantity and variety, which is beyond the stomach capacity of many people. First, you can afford meat for three meals a day, which is unprecedented in the history of human evolution. Second, industrialized production of many attractive foods harmful to people's health, such as ice cream, carbonated drinks, potato chips and so on. Third, fruits and vegetables planted out of season and transported across regions challenge and damage people's stomach. And these damages are superimposed, such as kebabs, fried chicken, iced carbonated drinks and so on. As a result, there are more and more patients with gastrointestinal diseases and farting.
farting much greatly reduces the quality of life of patients. Let the patient's study, work and social interaction fall into embarrassment. More seriously, it will haunt patients for life, making them live in the shadow of fart and depression for the rest of their lives, and some single people may even be lonely for life.
Neither modern medicine nor Chinese medicine for thousands of years has regarded farting as a disease. There are many gaps in medical theory about farting.
Modern medicine is powerless to fart. First, the causes and pathogenesis of farting are still unclear. Second, so far, there is no effective medicine to treat farting.
Farting is an incurable disease. Every veteran who farts a lot has taken drugs for indigestion, drugs for regulating qi, drugs for regulating flora, drugs for enteritis, antibiotics, etc., which not only have no curative effect, but also bring a burden to the already fragile and abnormal digestive function. I did hear an old Chinese doctor admit that he couldn't cure many farts. A young man in Huaihua, Hunan, farted a hundred times a day, saying that "life is worse than death". Looking for medical treatment everywhere, seeing Chinese medicine and western medicine, the light examination fee cost more than 1, yuan, and it is still incurable. It is the biggest pain for patients to seek medical treatment without success.
As long as colon cancer is ruled out after examination in a big hospital, you need self-care and diet therapy to get rid of the embarrassment and trouble of farting.
The practice of treating many farts proves that the earlier you treat it, the easier it is to repair it. The longer you wait, the more times you fart every day, and the more difficult it is to recover. Early treatment is the right choice.
1. Drink Coix seed and red bean porridge
The intestines of patients who fart more are ruled by wet poison. Once they eat the sick diet and get angry, they will get sick.
Eating Coix seed and red bean porridge every night for dinner can eliminate dampness in the stomach, strengthen the spleen, ooze dampness, stop diarrhea and expel pus, and change the symptoms of intestinal tract dominated by dampness. It can also help defecate, lose weight and moisturize the skin.
The purpose of drinking Coix seed and red bean porridge is to expel the wet toxin from the intestine, so that the intestine can reach the environment where the fart-removing phytochemicals take effect.
Coix seed and red bean porridge is a health-preserving method, and patients with many farts need to keep eating it for a long time.
production method: firstly, red beans and coix seed are washed separately and soaked for several hours in advance; Second, add enough water to the pot, and pour the soaked red beans and coix seed into the pot together. Remember to add enough water at a time, and don't add any more water in the middle; Third, the fire is boiled and turned to a small fire to cook slowly until the ingredients are boiled and blossomed.
the quickest and easiest way is to use an electric pressure cooker, put the washed red beans and coix seed into the pot and add water, and adjust the timing to the maximum (3 minutes) to get it at once.
the proportion of coix seed and red bean porridge is coix seed 2: red bean 1: millet 1. Add millet (not rice) to taste better.
second, massage the stomach in the morning and evening
The purpose of massage the stomach is to help the human body to repair itself, help digestion and expel qi.
every morning and evening, lie on the bed, take off your clothes and bare your stomach. In cold weather, you can cover the quilt, put your hands and fingers together, and massage with the fingertips and palm roots of your left hand counterclockwise for 81 times. Massage clockwise with your right hand for 81 times. Finally, massage counterclockwise with your left hand for 1 times.
this is a wonderful way to strengthen the spleen and stomach. Some people can cure the old stomach trouble for more than 1 years in three months by using this technique alone. Occasionally eating stagnation or general gastrointestinal discomfort. You can get immediate results by this method.
this method takes the counterclockwise direction as the supplement and the clockwise direction as the diarrhea. The order of left-right-left mentioned above is the complement method. It is suitable for people who are old and weak, have rotten stools all the year round and have long urine.
if it is stool induration. If you are obese, flushed and often thirsty, you should use the purgation method, that is, change it to the order of right-left-right. What should be noted here is that two reinforcing clips and one diarrhea are the reinforcing methods, that is, the order of left-right-left. Two purges and one supplement are the purgative methods, that is, the order of right-left-right. Do not supplement or diarrhea alone.
people with normal spleen and stomach can use the method of tonifying and purging, that is, the order from left to right or from right to left.
Third, change eating habits
Most of the reasons for getting sick are attributed to eating sick diets and drugs, so eating habits must be changed to avoid getting sick. If you don't avoid eating, you won't be cured of farting more.
The longer you don't get sick, the more favorable it is for the human body to repair itself. The process of healing is that the time of not getting sick is getting longer and longer.
Key points of taboo:
You must never eat spoiled food.
eat less indigestible food. Avoid eating red meat, especially fried and grilled meat. Meat can only be eaten with minced meat and broth. Be vegetarian, and use bean products, eggs, fish and shrimp instead of meat. Avoid increasing the burden on the stomach, give the body a chance to repair, and thus promote the recovery of the body's self-healing system.
eat less cold food, avoid cold drinks and cold beer, eat less cold, cool and out-of-season fruits and vegetables, eat more warm and neutral fruits and vegetables, and avoid eating cold tropical fruits. About those fruits and vegetables that are cold and warm, you can search online.
avoid irritating food, eat less spicy food such as pepper and drink less coffee.
Eat less gas-producing foods, such as carbonated drinks, beans, dairy products, potatoes, grapes and apples. You can search for gas-producing foods online.
Eat slowly to avoid swallowing too much. Chew 28 times per bite.
Eat regularly and quantitatively, avoid overeating, and don't overeat.
Take less medicine, especially cold medicine. It's a three-point poison. First, the gastrointestinal function of patients with gastrointestinal diseases is fragile. Taking medicine will cause damage to the sick stomach and easily induce illness. Second, both the side effects of drugs and the drug resistance caused by taking drugs will affect the self-repair ability of the human body. Therefore, patients with gastrointestinal diseases should not take medicine easily.
Fourth, doing Qigong
Abdominal breathing of Qigong can not only strengthen vitality, regulate internal organs, but also help the human body to repair itself; It can also effectively solve the problems of abdominal distension, exhaustion, etc. It is also effective in treating complicated depression.
Qigong with six-character formula is a health-preserving method that has been passed down through the ages to dispel diseases and prolong life. You can focus on the word "shout", tonify the spleen, strengthen the stomach and intestines, and expel qi.
Ma Litang's videos of teaching Qigong with six-character formula are available on major video websites.
5. Insist on sports
Incorporate sports into daily life, mainly periodic sports, such as brisk walking, jogging, swimming and cycling.
Exercise viscera, strengthen physique, improve immunity, relax mood and expel vitality through periodic exercise. Trot all the way and fart all the way, like a motorcycle.
Beat the belly button with fists in turn, and the intensity will gradually increase, which can quickly expel the vitality and strengthen the viscera and vitality.
Before social activities and sexual intercourse, you should exercise in advance to get rid of your arrogance and avoid embarrassment. If time is tight, you can beat your belly button. Don't let the fart king reveal himself.
Be careful not to catch cold due to deficiency of stomach and intestines, and be careful not to get angry due to damp-heat of stomach and intestines. We should start from the dribs and drabs of daily life, clothing and diet.
6. Avoid getting angry
Traditional Chinese medicine believes that emotional failure leads to more farting. In the present words, depression leads to more farting. Conversely, farting brings pressure to people, causing loneliness and depression. The result is a vicious circle. Many farting veterans are accompanied by severe depression. Avoid mental stimulation, relieve tension and psychological burden, keep a good mood and an optimistic and open-minded attitude. When something goes wrong, you should relax your mind and be sure not to get angry, especially not to get angry Once angry, it will cause irritable bowel syndrome, gastrointestinal dysfunction, manifested as diarrhea, abdominal pain and so on. If you get sick once, you will get worse if you fart more. As long as you are broad-minded and control your emotions, as long as you don't get sick, it is conducive to the self-repair of the stomach.
Do more enjoyable things in daily life, such as listening to music, singing, dancing, cross talk, watching jokes, etc.
VII. Eating folk secret recipe
Nursing and treatment need to be grasped with both hands, and both hands should be hard. The above six items are nursed back to health. The key to aftercare: First, the patient's gastrointestinal function has been damaged, which is very fragile. We must change our living habits, be careful and slowly aftercare. If you can't change your living habits and keep getting sick, you can't cure farting. Second, the intestines of people who fart a lot are dominated by wet poison. Only one or two weeks in advance, they can drink barley seed and red bean porridge for dinner every day, and then eat fart-removing phytochemicals after the stool is basically normal to reverse the symptoms of fart. This has a good effect. Then gradually restore and strengthen the digestive function through nursed back to health to prevent recurrence.
Only nursed back to health, without treatment, the symptoms of farting will not be substantially improved. Once you eat sick food, all your previous efforts will be wasted.
Fart-removing phytochemicals is the first secret medicine for treating farting in China. It is a pure natural food processed by trees and does not contain any Chinese or western ingredients. No side effects, children and pregnant women can't help using it. Special products launched by Taobao and Rantang.
it takes effect on the same day after taking the fart-removing phytochemicals. After taking it for a few days, the symptoms such as more farting and mucus in the stool returned to normal.
Fart-removing phytochemicals are the only secret medicine at home and abroad that has a radical effect on farting, not a palliative medicine. If you stop taking them, you will return to the original pathological state. In the absence of effective Chinese and western medicines to treat farting, farting-removing phytochemicals make users bid farewell to the embarrassment of farting through green and healthy diet, which is really the only choice for "farting king".
You can't "stay in bed" if you have gastrointestinal diseases, and you are prone to get sick if you eat carelessly. Although the symptoms of more farting returned to normal after eating the farting phytochemicals. However, the sick intestines and stomach are prone to get sick because of eating greasy, supercooled, irritating and indigestible diets. Especially eating fried and grilled meat is very easy to get sick. You need to eat fart-removing phytochemicals again when you are sick. After eating again, the period of illness will be prolonged and the digestive function will be further restored. After several courses of treatment, the user can eat a small packet as soon as there is a big fart and a lot of fart, and control the fart in a normal state without taking it continuously. After getting better, there will be meetings and social activities the next day, and you can eat a small bag the night before to prevent farting.
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