What small square method can make people happy? A joke or a little game will do!

1, the soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine in the battle? The company commander was greatly annoyed: * What can I do? Pay the price for stepping on it.

I haven't heard from you for a long time. I feel very distressed. I thought of cutting my pulse with potato chips, hitting my head with tofu and jumping off a building with a parachute. I hanged myself with noodles, but I didn't die. Just invited me to dinner and supported me to death.

If you feel cold, please call me! Please press 1 to talk about feelings, 2 to talk about work, 3 to talk about life, 5 to introduce me, please tell me directly when you invite me to dinner, and please hang up when you borrow money from me.

The giraffe married the monkey, and a year later, the giraffe filed for divorce: I will never live such a life of jumping up and down again! Monkey is furious: leave! Who has seen kissing and climbing trees!

The fish said, "I kept my eyes open to leave you." The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day, surrounding you and holding you tightly." The pot said, "It's almost fucking ripe and there's still so much nonsense."

6. Have you eaten? Please receive the short message. The elephant put shit in the middle of the road, and an ant just passed by. Looking up at the misty mountain peak, it couldn't help singing: Alasao, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau!

7, you have grown up, there are some things you should know: the sky is used for wind and rain; The land is used to grow flowers and grass; I used it to prove how great human beings are; You are used to stew vermicelli.

8. Don't worry if you don't bring paper when you are by the railway. The train will remind you: pants wipe, pants wipe, pants wipe! Don't worry, when you go to the toilet by the river and there is no paper, the frog will tell you: scratch, scratch, scratch!

9. Money can buy a house, but it can't buy a home; Marriage, but not love; Clock, but can't buy time. Money is not everything, but it is the root of pain. Give me your money and let me suffer alone!

10, God, it's so blue! Sea water, too salty! Life is too hard! Work, too annoying! And you, decree by destiny! Miss you, insomnia! It's too far to see you! What can I do? I miss you so much that I can't eat chopsticks or swallow bowls!

1 1, send you 12 Zodiac. I wish you smart as a mouse, strong as an ox, bold as a tiger, cute as a rabbit, confident as a dragon, charming as a snake, romantic as a horse, gentle as a sheep, naughty as a monkey, beautiful as a chicken, loyal as a dog and looks like a pig!

12. The chimpanzee accidentally stepped on the stool pulled by the gibbon. After the gibbon cleaned it gently and carefully, they fell in love. Others asked how they got together. Chimpanzees said with emotion: ape dung! It's all ape shit!

13, the lion and the bear shit by the tree respectively. A month later, the lion found that the tree next to his stool was thicker than the bear's, so he said a philosophy full of vicissitudes-lion shit is better than bear shit!

14, think of a number in your head, add 52.8, multiply it by 5, subtract 3.9343, divide it by 0.5, and finally subtract ten times the number in your head. The answer is romantic!

15, you always fart in the office, and your colleagues can't help asking if you can keep quiet. Then I saw you sitting there shivering and asked what you were doing, and you replied that I was shaking!

16, Dear God, please bless those friends who don't call, text or miss me: May God drop their mobile phones into the toilet, amen!

17, it is said that you are cruel. You have occupied four seats opposite the theater. When someone calls you up, you only hum twice. The security guard came over and said that friends are cruel enough. Where are you? You gnashed your teeth and said, I fell down the aisle upstairs!

18, miss you, miss you, find a painter to draw you, stick you in a cup, drink water all day and watch you-are you happy? Pour a cup of boiling water and burn you to death!