Playing the piano and singing jokes

A: Wang Zijian (funny) B: Sean (funny) A: Ladies and gentlemen, introduce yourselves. B: Yes. A: Wang Zijian B: It's him. A: This is my first time here. B: Hey, A: I feel very good. B: That's right. Do you think people like you have no nightlife here? No, what do you mean? What are you doing here? B: Here comes the cross talk. A: I heard people talking nonsense. Hey, what are you talking about? A: What energy? What's the use of watching the host grow so tall? What's this name? This A: Sugarcane is tall. how much is it? B: What is this word? A: None of this is interesting. Very vulgar. A: I am amazing. I am a great person. B: Who are you? A: Me, what are we doing (playing the piano, but pretending not to) B: Pickpockets? Why a pickpocket? B: didn't you start doing it? A: I made it myself, not picked it. I played B: Playing? What are you playing? We play the piano. B: Is this the way the piano is played? Well, play the piano. We all play with melody. B: Right, right. A: Melody is very important and your fingers are flexible. B: yes, flexibility. How do you make it flexible? B: How to practice this flexibility? Let's practice. In the yard, there are only big woodpots. Fat ... soap chips? A: A bunch of children in the Conservatory of Music are learning the piano, and their fingers are taking soap slices out. B: A: One of them didn't clip properly and fell in. I dropped it. A: There is a teacher. The professor from the Conservatory of Music came with a ruler. B: Why? A: Bang, bang, just hit (making a gesture of hitting people with a ruler) B: Why do you hit people like this A: The child is crying, teacher, teacher, why did you hit me, teacher? B: Why? A: I hit you. A: I'll hit you if you can't practice well. Today, I hit you If you don't practice hard when you grow up, it's none of my business to hit you alone, okay? B: Is this prevention and treatment by groups? A: Pickpocket, what? You play the piano badly outside, which makes people laugh. B: Goods, so you play. A: Of course. B: Huh? A: I have a name for the elegant music industry. B: What's the name? A: I am one of the three factions in the world of elegant music. B: Three elementary schools in the music industry? A: Junior, there are three great people in our group of children. Which three? A: Lang Lang, B: Jane, isn't that how these three people got together? A: I'm Na Jianjian. Sounds like three pandas. Zhou Zhou, stop talking. It's different from our field. Yes, yes, we play the piano. Yes, A: He is on the swing. B: Right, right, conducting. What do you mean by swinging? We all play the piano. B: That's right. A: I am much better than Lang Lang. B: How can you be better than Lang Lang? A: What can Lang Lang do? Well, what's the big deal about Lang Lang? B: How well do people play? A: First of all, is Lang a pianist? How can you play the piano without music? A: I don't know what kind of piano you play. I am a pianist without music. No, what do you have to see? How can you play the piano without music? Answer: Just say that I am better than Lang Lang. B: Why? I can't play the piano because I have webbed feet. B: Why? A: You can't break your hands with flippers. That's great. B: Yes. A: I'm better than him. B: You are better than him. I'm outdoors. Lou ... Ah, you are an outdoor artist, right? A: What's the significance of performing arts? Must the outdoor one be lower than the covered one? Where else could it be? A: What's the score? What are you talking about? A: Where did we hold the concert? B: No, A: It just opened. No, A: On the Great Wall. Well, on the Great Wall of Wan Li! I gave a concert at the Great Wall in Wan Li. Whoever did it is up to you. A: Come on, everybody. B: It's amazing. A: Maybe some of you don't know. B: Ah, not bad for me. Why? B: Ah, it's a little expensive, mainly for overseas markets. B: Commodity A: Heads of state, wealthy businessmen, artists and athletes will listen to it in the future. This ticket is very expensive. B: Ah, A: At home, I'm thinking about publicity. B: Right, right, right. A: It means whether you will buy a ticket or not. Anyway, let you know that Wang Zijian plays the piano on the Great Wall. Good thing. Yes, TV advertisements, print advertisements, outdoor advertisements, newspapers and magazines are all ready. B: Come on. Something's wrong. B: What's the matter? A: I was pinched in Beijing. Choke with you. A: Took away the publicity resources. B: Who? What's that called? B: A week? I hate that man. Zhou Libo? What does his departure have to do with our music industry? B: Then who's here? A: That's it, the one in Taiwan Province Province. B: Taiwan Province Province. who is it? A: What's this? B: Ah, A: Sister Zhou is great. B: Zhou ... Zhou chop the stick. A: Yes, the masterpiece is called Double Knives. B: Everyone knows A: It travels across the ocean. B: Double cutter. That's Nezha. It's called a double cutting wheel. Jay Chou: Jay Chou is here. Big shot. A: Newspapers, magazines and TV are all occupied by him. He has a big wrist. He deserves it. B: What's the matter? It's none of my business. Why? A: I like robbery. B: Yes. A: The grades are not in the same place. What can I say? Where did he hold the concert? B: Where is it? A: Workers' Stadium. A: Where shall I hold the concert? B: the great wall: it's still the same ~~ B: what's the matter? a: can it be the same? B: What's the difference? A: The Great Wall of Wan Li B: Ah A: The backbone of China B: This is A: Workmanship B: Ah A: The most humiliating place for China people in recent years. B: They also play football with China. A: Is that right? B: Can I be like him? He is unlucky. A: How dare you buy a ticket? A: Nonsense? B: Can you read it for nothing? A: 8000 yuan each. B: 8000 yuan. A: You said he dared to sell 8,000. B: He sold it for 8000 yuan, so you are throwing caution to the wind. A: It's a little more difficult. Shall we make it 80? B: Eighty. No one gave me an umbrella and didn't cover it (pointing to it). What if it's windy and rainy? A logo will be printed on it with your picture on it. A: Who? B: What about you? A: Who? This is B: You? A: You heard, you saw? I figured it out. A: What you heard, what you saw? I think so. No, you just said what you heard. Did you get a look at him? What do I think? A: Bah (spitting at each other) B: Eh, A: I sell 80 b: harmonica practitioners. I should sue you. I buy 2000 b:2000 RMB? A: dollars! Two thousand dollars to hear you play the piano! A: Not bad ~ ~ Yes, B: This guy A: You have to talk about this place. B: That's true. A: First of all, my art is worth 1000 yuan. Yes, we must keep a low profile. B: Besides, no one has ever held a symphony concert or a piano concert on the Great Wall. Yes, A: It's still worth a thousand dollars. It's just that this ticket has not been circulated in China. Yes, A: It's abroad. B: On the ticketing website, it's all gone. B: Goods A: Good foreign prime ministers and presidents are waiting in Taobao every day. B: I ... this ... the president didn't slip away. Boy, I brushed my ticket on Taobao for fun. I drilled all the tickets I bought. Really? A: I reply to others every day. How many tickets did you open this time? A: Two hundred tickets. Ah, not much. Well, you are so stupid. How could I be stupid? B: A ticket costs 2,000 yuan. If you sell more, you sell 20,000 tickets. You're rich! How about going to Forbes A: I haven't heard of it. Have you ever been to the Great Wall? Yes, I do. That's a long wall. Yes, but it's too narrow. Oh, by the way, I forgot about this. A: There are two thousand people sitting in line on the Great Wall. B: Ah, A: This thing, change tracks here, and the beacon will inform you. I'm on the news tree. A: Yes, I can't sell any more. B: That's it. A: I'm in the middle, next to the orchestra, and there are audiences on both sides. My grand piano is on the Great Wall. B: No, no, don't put it on the Great Wall. The Great Wall of Wan Li is built on a mountain. It's all crooked. The piano is so big. One head is high and the other is low. You b: where can I find it? A: Yes. B: Where? On the beacon tower. On the beacon tower? A: Get a big core board above the beacon tower, cover it and put my big elm piano on it. B: Aren't you afraid of falling? Can plywood be satisfied? A: Get more floors, won't you? As long as you don't buy Da Vinci's, it's all right. B: Da Vinci has memorized it. A: Put them all on it, and talk about the symphony orchestra that accompanied me. B: Ah, A: Great. This is the best symphony orchestra in the world. Yes, come on, on the Great Wall. Where do I prepare? They are preparing. Let's rehearse. Rehearse. Rehearsal A: Something is wrong. B: What's the matter? A: Because I'm not just with them. Oh, a: I hang out with big symphony orchestras all over the world. What do you mean by mixing? A: We all play again and again. B: What do you play over and over again? Do you often perform in crowded places? A: Yes, yes. B: that's called the head waiter. A: Exactly. When I go to their place, I am used to eating a mat. What does the mouse do? What do you mean by eating a mat? Guest host A: Guest host, I will hold a concert at the Great Wall. The Viennese went. B: Yes, A: The Austrian went. What can other orchestras do? Oh, I'm jealous. I haven't arranged it, have I? Boy, I just went to the Great Wall to prepare for the rehearsal. B: It is also a big group in the world. A: The white-haired old colonel who is over 60 years old took my hand and complained about me with tears. What did he say? A: (Baoding dialect, Hebei province) What's this called, Miss Wang? Yes, why don't you invite the austrians instead of us? No, you wait. It is the Baoding Symphony Orchestra of Hebei Province. A: I tell you, just with a little accent, you can distinguish China people from foreigners. B: Then don't take Hebei dialect. A: (Baoding dialect, Hebei province) We will also perform. It is our pleasure to perform on the Great Wall. B: Oh, oh, A: No, everyone is here. Vienna is sitting there. Yes, A: Where can I find a place for you? Yes, there are no rooms left. A: There is no room for the audience. I sold all the tickets for 2000 dollars. People will come and sit there later. How to do it? A: Isn't (Baoding dialect in Hebei) 2,000 yuan? B: What's the matter? A: (Baoding dialect, Hebei province) We have paid, and we Americans have plenty of money. B: goods a: can you pay back our national debt first if you have money? B: er, right. A: Forget it. B: Ah A: I took out my check, wrote it and tore it down. I am willing to accept the money. Yes, A: How can I arrange you? B: There is no room. A: There is no place to stand. B: Yes, A: (Baoding dialect in Hebei) You don't have to stand. B: How about A: (Baoding dialect, Hebei province) We can squat. B: We can squat. A: I think Americans are too religious. B: That's right. A: Find a place for them to squat. Yes, there is a room. B: Where is it? As I said just now, there are battlements on the Great Wall. B: Yes, A: You don't look as big as a battlement. B: Ah, A: Actually, it's more than one square meter. B: It's quite big. Let them squat on it. B: A: Yes, American children are squatting on battlements. B: goods a: where are you squatting? You can really enjoy singing. A: Go up. B: Go up. A: I was dragged up. Yo, when Americans go to town, the battlements are really beautiful. B: Is that right? A: Take out your musical instrument. B: Ah, A: There are different shapes. B: Is that right? A: There is a blower. A: Just look carefully. There is no repetition. Isn't this Lugou Bridge? Rehearse. Rehearse. B: Hurry up. A: Just about to rehearse. B: What's the matter? A: Here comes another guest. B: The Tokyo Symphony Orchestra is here. B: this is the boss of Asia. A: Well, the old head of the Tokyo Symphony Orchestra is over 60 years old with white hair. B: Ah A: Holding my hand and complaining about me in tears. B: Um A: (Baoding dialect, Hebei province) What are you doing, Miss Wang? B: The world is a symphony. Baoding A: Isn't that the end of the story? What do you mean? A: (Baoding dialect, Hebei Province) We also went to the show, and now it is also the third largest economy in the world. We also have a lot of money. We also bought tickets for the show. B: Ah, A: Let's write me a check. B: Give it back to me. A: I said I wanted the money. There is no place to arrange you. B: That's it. A: Look, sit, stand and squat. B: Ah, A: You said you didn't even have a place to squat. B: That's right. Answer: (Baoding dialect in Hebei Province) Kneeling is fine. B: (Baoding dialect, Hebei province) I'm going to take part in the performance on my knees. I am thinking about it. B: Why is there room on my knees? As I said just now, there are battlements on the Great Wall. Yes, there is a groove between each battlements. B: There is a big gap in the middle. A: Yes, let the Japanese walk along the outside of the Great Wall from below the crotch, with the whole trunk lying on the groove and two elbows hanging in it. B: drinking a: I can't fall. B: Is that right? Oh, that's interesting. B: This posture really looks like Japanese. A: That's funny. Playing, playing and singing, it won't take long. B: Boy, I said don't let people lie down. A: Why B: We all have friendship, so it's over. A: That won't do. B: What's the matter? He is also squatting. Ah, a: He's tired. He stood up and straightened his legs. He stretched and whined. Two Americans fell down. B: That's right. There are people squatting on it. A: You know that the Japanese destroyed a Lugou Bridge at 1937, right? How did you know? A: Lie down. The Japanese are embarrassed and the Americans are happy. B: What's the matter? A: There is room for feet. B: I stepped on my waist directly. Hey, kid, let's rehearse quickly. There is no time. A: It is too late. B: Right, right. A: There are still people here. A: There are really not many people this time. B: There are 27 people here. B: Not much. A: This is the Tripoli Music Orchestra. B: Is there a symphony orchestra in Libya? Is it all nonsense? Why don't you allow that man to pursue elegant art? B: Why did you come here after such a fierce battle? Well, people came in rags. B: Ah, A: All his cotton-padded jackets are exposed, his face is covered with mud, and his shoes show his big toes. B: Don't ask. This one supports Gaddafi. A: This guy. B: Otherwise, it wouldn't be so miserable. I'll tell you one: I came directly. B: Ah A: The old colonel is over 60 years old, white-haired, holding my hand and complaining about me with tears. B: Yes, A: (Baoding dialect, Hebei province) What do you do, Miss Wang? B: What is it (say it with the above sentence and then fall back to A)? Why are you here to promote Baoding dialect? It's over. B: Ah, A: (Baoding dialect, Hebei Province) We are going to participate in the performance (hungry for several days) B: We haven't eaten for several days. This A: I said come on, everyone is full. B: Exactly. A: Miss Wang, you have to understand our feelings. B: What mood? A: When Baoding dialect came out, we were just like them. /kloc-more than 0/00 people b: is that ok? A: Just after Benghazi, there are more than 30 people left. B: Look at the unlucky places you are going to. A: (Baoding dialect, Hebei province) The French plane was completely bombed by us. B: Er, A: Look at our conductor. B: What's the matter? A: (Baoding dialect, Hebei province) How to command this? Yao A: Even with a stick in my mouth, I have to accompany you. B: I won't accompany you. It's time for woodpeckers to do this. A: I think this is so touching. B: Right. A: Ok, let you perform, but the other B: Ah, A: (Baoding dialect in Hebei) doesn't matter. We also paid the price for it. B: We paid for it. A: We paid the money. Yes, keep the money. B: Let's buy a pair of shoes first. B: Hey, yes, the shoes are running out. A: What's the arrangement? B: There are no rooms available. A: I just think there is no room for the Great Wall. B: The party is full. A: I thought about it later. B: Ah, A:A:A: Two ends of the rope are tied with splayed buttons. B: Eight characters A: This circle belongs to this Libyan symphony orchestra. B: This ... A: It's stuck under my arm. B: Ah, A: This circle is tied to the battlements. How did you sneak out? It looks great from the outside. B: That's why a: A: Let's go out to play and watch the show, and sing while playing without delay. Boy A: Let's warm up. B: Yes. A: As soon as I see it, I will climb to my piano room. B: Where is the piano room? A: On it. B: It's above the beacon tower. There is a piano on it. I grabbed my tuxedo, so I climbed up. B: This tuxedo is worn like this. Stop the leg. What's blocking the leg? A: I climbed up the brick seam of the city wall. Can you move the ladder? There is no time. After getting up, sit on my piano stool. Come on. The audience is all here. B: Let's go. B: Look at this style. You can't go wrong. A: Look at the audience. B: What's the matter? A: Wow ~ ~ B: I heard the good news. I saw that the audience was too enthusiastic. B: Isn't it? A: It is hard to sell. B: One more song. A: Open the piano cover. B: Huh? It's too noisy. I haven't lifted the piano cover yet. Nonsense, there is a sandstorm as big as the Great Wall. My piano cover is covered with dust. I'm going to dust. B: Are you willing to spend 2000 yuan to hire six cleaners? Answer: Dust the soil. Then open the piano cover and reach out to play the piano for someone. B: Come on. A: Give me your hand. ! ! Listen to our voices. B: Huang Lu A: Very powerful. B: Listen. Answer: Play them: Dangdang, Dangdang, Dangdang, Dangdang, Dangdang, Dangdang (the right hand is playing the string). B: Still playing the strings! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Who cares about that? B: What the hell? Do you like it or not? B: What's the matter? A: Look at the audience. B: Ah, A: Wow ~ ~ ~ B: This is good. A: This one ran away. B: Scold the street and left. B: Hey, A: These symphony orchestras have all quit. B: Is that right? A: Have a cigarette and spit. Only the Japanese can't run on the ground. B: Is that right? A: These guys have been trampled and run away. Look at this screaming thing. Yeah, I love running. I love it. B: goods a: don't listen. B: Ah, A: What, I like to hear it, but only twenty people have not left. I like piano art.