Self-deprecating jokes and funny quotes

Self-deprecating jokes and funny quotes

Others say you are humble and you still agree, then you are really proud. The following are funny quotes I compiled, welcome to read!

Foodies see a doctor

Pure foodies only see Chinese medicine when they are sick, because Western medicine is gone in one bite. You can drink two more sips of Chinese medicine.

Momentarily at a loss

Xiao Li, a vegetative state who had been lying in bed in a coma for many years, suddenly kicked off his legs. The family was at a loss as to whether he was awake or dead.

I grew up drinking AD calcium milk

I also grew up drinking AD calcium milk when I was a child. As a result, Xiao Hong grew into A milk, Xiao Hua grew into D milk, but Xiao Ming Became calcium.

What is Zen?

Girl: Brother, what is Zen? Brother: I have chicken legs here, do you want to eat them? Girl: Yes. Big brother: This is called greed..

Why do you choose to throw away the milk if you can’t sell it?

Lao Wang: Why do you choose to throw the milk away if you can’t sell it? Xiao Ming: Go get it yourself. I will give it to you, but you bad guys want free shipping when you get it for free.

What were you thinking about when you ran 1,000 meters?

Lao Wang: What were you thinking about when you ran 1,000 meters? Xiao Ming: What lap is this!

How does it feel to fall in love with a lawyer?

Lao Wang: How does it feel to fall in love with a lawyer? Xiao Ming: Don’t get divorced, you won’t even get your underwear.

This trick is cruel enough

Lao Wang: For some reasons, I need to lose 20 pounds in 20 days. How to do it? Xiao Ming: Amputate!

I don’t like it the most People

There are two types of people that I dislike the most: the first type of people are racist people; the second type of people are black people; and the third type of people are people who are illiterate.

Doing something big

I planned to do something big this afternoon, to repair the earth, so I just did it, picked up the hoe and went to the ground.

There is something wrong with this secretary

The boss called the secretary and said: I have to encourage you, this time the document only has 7 errors. Okay, let's look at the second line.

I was a funny kid when I was little

I imitated boys to pee, but ended up peeing all over my legs! My mother scolded me half to death! I am a girl.

Bedding

Beauty; What are you going to buy? Me: Bedding. Me: Then can you see what I can do?

God-like reply

Why is a Ferrari that pulls two people more expensive than a bus that pulls a hundred people? Shenzhou 5 only Pulled one.

Your hair is like snow

I have saved up my dandruff for a year just to show you a snowfall.

People with big faces have good tempers

People with big faces generally have good tempers, because it is really hard for them to fall out!

He is a special person

When I was a child, I always felt that I was a special person. When I grew up, I found that I was really special and very poor.

The shortcomings of contemporary people

If you don’t take pictures while eating, you can’t do it; if you don’t take pictures and post them on your blog, you feel like you can’t live.

Run faster than a dog

I was shopping and saw two men running. The one running behind suddenly said: MD, run faster than a dog...

My memory is getting worse and worse

"Oh, I don’t know what happened, but now my memory is getting worse and worse." "How bad is it?" "What is so bad?"

The most futile thing

“What is the most futile thing you have ever done?” “Take off your clothes and stand on the scale.

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This is called self-marriage travel

Spring is here, and single girls should pack themselves up and go on a trip. This is called self-marriage travel. ;