Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Let's watch the classic lines in the meteor shower together (again)

Let's watch the classic lines in the meteor shower together (again)

1. paragraph: "This classmate, you are very embarrassed!"

Murong Haiyun: "So what?"

Shangguan: "Still dragging English? I hate it when people speak English to me! "

2. Murong Haiyun: "God! What a stubborn old man! "

Principal: "What are you talking about? I am your God here! "

3. Principal: (opposite paragraph) "Don't look at me so glumly."

Principal: "Don't look at me so coldly, I'm colder than you!" " "(it is said to Duan ...)

4. Shangguan Ruiqian: "I will give you three seconds to apologize for my shoes!" "

Murong Haiyun: "(stomping Shangguan Ruiqian's shoes that are too expensive to vomit blood)" This is how my shoes apologize to your shoes! "

5. "My name is Li from Bruce Lee, and the dragon is the dragon from Bruce Lee. At this moment, don't think I'm seducing you ... "(Four people start beating Li Long).

Shangguan Ruiqian: "Give it back to Bruce Lee."

Ye Shuo: "I'm still Ip Man!"

6. Murong Haiyun: "She is like a fly. She revolves around you every day. She won't bite you She bothers you! "

7. Shangguan Ruiqian: "We will jump on the count of three! Ready, three! "

Duan: "This classmate, it seems that you are not brain-dead! I count to three. "

8. Chu Xun Yu: "First, I am very angry; Second, my name is Chu Xun Yu. Third, if you let me play this boring game again, I will make you really pigs! Fourth, I am not brain-dead! "

Murong Haiyun: "You are really an idiot. First, your anger is written on your face. " Second, hello is just a form of address; Third, this boring game will make you angry. The above three points fully prove that you are an idiot. "

9. (Murong Haiyun falls down on the stairs)

Xu Lili: Hey ... Be careful!

Murong Haiyun: "What do you know? This is called not taking the usual road! "

10. (Everyone laughs as a hippo) Murong: "Hippo!"

Shangguan: "Hippo ... Haha!"

Ye Shuo: "Goodbye! Hippo! "

Duanmu: "River ... don't care too much about them."

1 1. Chu Xun Yu handed the washed vest to Haiyun. ...

Murong Haiyun: (happily asking the rain nettle) "Did you wash this dress yourself? This is the most touching gift I have ever received! "

Chu Xun Yu: (dazed for a long time) "I washed this with a washing machine."

Shangguan and Ye Shuo laugh wildly.

12. Chu Xun Yu: "I won't care about you because you are disabled."

Hai Yun: "I don't care about you, because you are brain-dead!" " "

13. Gu Lan: "Dressed like this, you are not a bad person, but also a person with a broken brain!"

14. (A turtle is stuck behind Chu) Mr. Murong: "Longevity is a blessing! Sister turtle thirteen! "

15. Paragraph: "Run if you want to cry, and turn your tears into sweat and evaporate."

16. Shangguan Ruiqian: "Hey, I want to say three words to you."

Chu Xun Yu: "What are you doing?"

Shangguan Ruiqian: "It was you. You are unlucky to meet me today, Chu Xun Yu, because I want to say three words to you today, and I want to say it ten times. "

Chu Xun Yu: "I know, you are a pig."

Shangguan: "Yes. I just want to tell you that you are a pig. You are a pig, you are a pig, you are a pig ... "

17. Murong Yunduo: "There is a kind of love called touching."

18. Ye Shuo: "It's over, the storm is coming."

Shangguan was confused: "Where is it going to rain? Where? "

Ye Shuo looked at him speechless. Shangguan said, "Where?"

Ye Shuo finally unbearable, pushed the law.

19. Murong Haiyun: "When you face Chu Xun Yu, apologizing is the most difficult thing in the world."

20. Shangguan Ruiqian: "Someone finally found a beautiful excuse for my playboy."

2 1. Shangguan Ruiqian: "My dad said that cash is king these days, and I don't want the financial crisis to affect the flowers of the motherland."

Ye Shuo: "As far as you are concerned, you are dead!" "

Ye Shuo: "You can borrow my shoulder indefinitely if you need it." It's not very generous, but at least it will give you a good rest. "

Shangguan Ruiqian: "What do you like about me?"

Lisa: "I like you-leave me alone."

24. Shangguan Ruiqian: "Xiaoyu, you are a good girl. If you want to get married, don't marry anyone else-let alone me. "

25. Murong: (losing his temper with Chu) "Don't always talk about things with money! I really hate your boring self-esteem at the grassroots level. Is it my fault that you Gao Fushuai? Unreasonable! "

26. (On the island, the rain nettle fell from the stone, but the sea of clouds could not find the rain nettle) Murong Haiyun: "It's really unusual."

27. Murong Haiyun: "Why are you here?"

Duan: "Because I am here, I am here."

28. Murong Haiyun: "He is the best person in the world in my sister's heart!" (Ye Shuo agrees and nods)

Murong Haiyun: "But except me!"

Ye Shuo: (speechless) "Good for you."

29. Chu Xun Yu: "The idea of thinking that you are a pig is a typical manifestation of lack of vocabulary. Want me to teach you? You are a pig, which can be extended to mean that you are a wild boar, porcupine, flower pig, light pig, stupid pig, stupid pig, Ukrainian suckling pig and pig. You are a lazy creature who keeps omnivores in captivity. You are a desperate and lonely animal under the bright starry sky. You are a stupid pig who will never fly into the blue sky! "

30. Chu Xun Yu: "I have met narcissists. I have never seen you so narcissistic. I tell you, I won't like you as a narcissist in my last life and next life! " (Only not in this life! )

3 1. Chu Xun Yu: "Is there a number greater than 1?"

Murong Haiyun: "Yes."

Chu Xun Yu: "Is there a number greater than 10?"

Murong Haiyun: "Yes."

Chu Xun Yu: "Is there a number greater than 1000?"

Murong Haiyun: "Yes."

(... until after 65438+ million)

Chu Xun Yu: "Is there a fool more stupid than you?"

Murong Haiyun: (Because of vigilance, subconsciously) "No!" (petrochemical engineering of the whole plant)

32. Do you know why fish fall in love with apples?

Shen Hanfeng: "What do you mean?"

You see, you know all the problems in this world. This is our business. We'll handle it ourselves. Go first. "

33. Ye Shuo: "Which school girl is that, which makes our lover so worried?" Shangguan Ruiqian: "Don't call me lover! I am a very devoted boy! " Ye Shuo: "Exclusive love? ! You only have feelings for one girl at a time, right? Say it! Who is it? "

34. Shangguan Ruiqian's cell phone rang, not Xiaoyu.

Ye Shuo (to Shangguan Ruiqian): "Frustrated again? Don't bother, there are four of us. The sea of clouds bothers the rain nettle, and the sea of clouds is accompanied by stumps to bother the rain nettle, and you bother Xiaoyu. I said, are you bored? Then I am free now, and I am tired of finding a girlfriend! "

Shangguan Ruiqian: "Don't you have a girlfriend?"

Ye Shuo (guilty): "Ah? How can I have a girlfriend? "

Shangguan Ruiqian: "Isn't the computer your girlfriend?"

35. Chu Xun Yu: "At this moment, I really appreciate the night and the rain, so that even if I cry in front of him, I won't be found by him."

36. Shangguan Ruiqian: "Do you think I am handsome?"

Ye Shuo: (laughs) "You, did you eat something unclean? Poisoned. "

Shangguan Ruiqian: "Seriously, are you handsome?"

Ye Shuo: Very handsome.

Shangguan Ruiqian: "Is it attractive?"

Ye Shuo: "Yes."

Shangguan Ruiqian: "Generous?"

Ye Shuo: "Kang."

Shangguan Ruiqian: "Does it taste first-class?"

Ye Shuo: "The pin."

Shangguan Ruiqian: "Then will you like me?"

Ye Shuo: (helplessly) "You are joking with me."

37. Paragraph: "I found that you felt a lot today."

Ye Shuo: "I am lovelorn."

Duan: "Did you lose your computer?"

Ye Shuo: "Huh?"

38. (When Murong Haiyun said never to talk to the rain nettle again)

Ye Shuo: Can you believe it?

Shangguan Ruiqian: "Do you think I believe it?"

Ye Shuo: "Pigs believe it."

Shangguan Ruiqian: "Then I don't believe it either."

39. Shen Hanfeng (to Murong Haiyun): "You can only look at GPS with two eyes!"

40. Murong Haiyun: "We have experienced life and death, and I will love you all my life."

4 1. Murong Haiyun: "Why didn't you tell me that you liked my sister?"

Shangguan Ruiqian: "Let me clarify for Ye Shuo. You said the four of us were together all day. Who doesn't know that he likes your sister? " A blind man can see it. "

Murong Haiyun: "Then why didn't I know?"

Shangguan Ruiqian: "Blindly. The identification is completed. "

42. (Chu Xun Yu didn't go back to the dormitory all night, and Ye Shuo suspected that Murong Haiyun was responsible)

Ye Shuo (to Murong Haiyun): "If you run faster, of course, if you want to run to the music classroom at a speed of 25 meters per second, you may have done it!"

43. Shangguan Ruiqian: "Who, who, is finished, I am finished. Finally, I was radiant (Duanmu Lei burst into laughter), and I was the prince on this stage, Leonardo and Dincapri. This play is simply tailor-made for me. From now on, your light will be covered by me. Oh, oh, oh ~ "

44. Chu Xun Yu: "Do you mind if I like you only one tenth as much as you like me?"

Murong Haiyun: "If you like me only one tenth as much as I like you, then I will make up the remaining nine tenths (shouting). If you only like me 100 percent, I will supply you with the remaining 99 percent! "

45. Duan saw a grain of rice in Chu's mouth and wanted to help her throw it away. The rain nettle pushed it away and said, "She has a grain of rice in her mouth. Do you want to keep it as a snack? "

46. Shangguan Ruiqian asked, "Did he (Ye Shuo) escape from prison?"

Duan: "How can he escape from prison without a computer?"

Murong Haiyun: "You are jealous!"

Chu Xun Yu: "I don't eat jiaozi. Why should I be jealous? "

48. Murong Haiyun: "What? Don't I look like a prince? "

Ye Shuo: "Yes, of course you do. You are like a usurped prince! " "

49. Chu: (opposite paragraph) Do you know who I dreamed of last night?

Paragraph: "Who is it?"

Chu Xun Yu: "You don't know ... that's definitely not you! ”"

Paragraph: "Sleepwalking!"

50. Murong Yunduo: (to Murong Haiyun) "When did you buy two mobile phones?"

Murong Haiyun: "When I bought the second one."

Murong Yunduo: "Nonsense!"

5 1. Chu Xun Yu: "Uncle, please don't trample on my self-esteem with money!" (turning around)

Chai Xue Cun: "Hey, rain nettle! Joke, I really hope people all over the world will use money to trample on my self-esteem! "

52. (opposite paragraph): "Rain nettle, don't you have any distractions?"

Duan Leim: (deliberately changing the subject) "Come on, Shangguan, I'll fight you."

Shangguan Ruiqian (Zheng): "I play a single-player game."

53. Murong Haiyun: "Why do you still live on this earth?"

Chu Xun Yu: "Because I want to study Tyrannosaurus Rex in this world!" " "

Murong Haiyun: "Do you like me because you want to study me so much?"

54. Shen Hanfeng: "A friend who hurts your interests is a bad friend. Without such a friend, it is better to make a bad friend! "

55. Murong Haiyun: "Well, who dares to despise my strength? See you at the Taekwondo Hall! "

Shangguan Ruiqian: "Genius is often used to bury, especially a genius like me, who is amazingly handsome and makes the gods cry!"

Murong Haiyun: "Go!"

Ye Shuo asked Guo Rongrong to find someone to play football with, but Guo Rongrong chickened out. )

Guo Rongrong: "School ..."

Ye Shuo: "What are you laughing at? I can't laugh. "

Guo Rongrong: "The headmaster wants you."

58. Murong Haiyun: (to Chu) You are so beautiful and gentle. Every time I see you, I feel that life is full of hope. You hide so many secrets, sometimes you get upset, but I know that in your heart, there is deep peace. I love you. "

Chu Xun Yu: "Why are you reading this?"

Murong Haiyun: "This is my composition! The name is Xianghai! "

59. Shangguan (indifferent smile): "Aye aye! In a dramatic scene, the rain nettle dives into the water. "

Ye Shuo (in a hurry to save the rain nettle): "Then you are still laughing here, don't hurry to save her."

Shangguan (holding Ye Shuo): "Aye aye! Slow down, the sea of clouds has jumped to save her. The beauty of a gentleman, we can't destroy his plan! "

Ye Shuo (pause, ready to save the sea of clouds): "The sea of clouds can't swim!" " "

Shangguan (pulls him again): "Aye aye! This is the drama! The rain nettle saved the sea of clouds. "

Ye Shuo (with a sigh of relief): "Hey! Scared me to death, can you talk less breathless? "

60. Duanmu: "I like a dress because of its style, and I like a song because of its melody. In this world, there is no reason to like someone ... "

6 1. (Haiyun is a waiter, Shangguan is with Duanmu Yuqiao in Ye Shuo) Shangguan: "Hey ~ ~ Should I be ashamed? I can't stand on my own feet yet. "

Ye Shuo: "You can only eat your own fruit."

62. Murong Haiyun (opposite to Duanmu): "Do you love to rob a friend's girlfriend so much? Shangguan has so many girlfriends that you can grab them in ten or eight years! "

Guo Rongrong: "Ladies and gentlemen, now my classmate Guo Rongrong (with a V-hand), who is called the super invincible cuteness of our school, will explain this exciting slam dunk challenge. Then the challenger asked our officials to go to school together (in a crazy way), but our challenger was an inconspicuous nobody who stayed at home! " (Xie Jialong violently starts with his fist) Xie Jialong: "Who said he was a nobody? I'll tell you his name. Scared you to death! " Guo Rongrong: "Who is it? Hit me on the head? "XieJiaLong:" it's me! Hit your head! " Guo Rongrong: "I hate it when people hit me on the head and then hit me on the head. . . "Xie Jialong:" What about you? " Guo Rongrong: "I just, I just, I just stay away from you!" " "(jump away quickly)

Murong Haiyun: "I, Murong Haiyun, swear to the sky, the earth, the flowers and the rainbow that I only love Chu Xun Yu in my life until I die."

Chu Xun Yu: "I, Chu Xun Yu, swear to the sky, the earth, the flowers and the rainbow that I only love Haiyun in my life. No matter what difficulties I encounter, I will accompany him until death do us part ~ "

65. Murong Haiyun: "This feeling is so familiar. It seems to be something that has been missing in my heart. I feel that we have known each other for a long time. What's your name? "

66. Huang Si: "He (Murong Haiyun) has the shortcoming of being tall and handsome." Shangguan (pushing Huang Si's head hard): "I think you are a little weak!" "

67. Shangguan: "A hypocrite is also a kind of gentleman."

68. (Hai Yun sets a clever plan to save Ye Shuo, and on the way home) Xie Jialong: "You don't have to worry about hitting people in the future. Tell Brother Long who you want to fight, where you want to fight and where you want to fight. "

Hai Yun: "Do you dare to be in front of the police?"

Xie Jialong: "This ... this is nothing."

69. Xiaoyu: "For example, Tang Bohu ordered Chou-heung!"

Chu Xun Yu: "That's Tang Bohu, a gifted scholar in Jiangnan. He is Alison's big idiot! " "

70 (Ye Shuo and others want to dismantle the headmaster's tires)

Ye Shuo: "What, to expose us? The principal's office takes the elevator to the sixth floor and turns left to the second room. Don't forget to call to report when you enter the door. "

7 1 Duan Mulei: "Sorry, I have a musical cleanliness."

Chu Xun Yu: "Why do you want to mix with them?"

Paragraph: "Four people are bored is better than one person." (The more you think about it, the more classic it is)

Chu Xun Yu: "Mr. Murong, Duanmu, Shangguan, Ye Shuo, you four parasites, idiots who can't live without birdcages, I will curse you to go to hell and never live beyond life!"

Murong Haiyun: "Look at your dark circles, how round they are!"

75 Murong Haiyun: "Waiter, drink!"

Chu Xun Yu: "What to drink?"

Murong Haiyun: Pulse

Chu Xun Yu: "Sold out"

Murong Haiyun: "Sprite"

Chu Xun Yu: "Only at room temperature"

Murong Haiyun: "There is always mineral water! Give me 500 yuan first! "

76 (Chu was fined for running 10 lap in the playground) Uncle: "You don't have to run it all today! You can save it and run a little every day. "

Ye Shuo: "the Monkey King read the hoop and cursed himself."

Murong Haiyun: "If an apology is useful, why did the police do it?"

Hai Yun passed the exam and went to worship God. The rain nettle was there. When he saw them, he hid behind the tree. Shangguan ridiculed: "Haiyun worships God, just like the Monkey King's curse, cursing herself,,, by the way, how are you going to punish her if you win?" Hai Yun: "I will punish her and make her beautiful, just like Zhao Wei in shaolin soccer. Her big head, which looks like Nezha, is dangling in the air with a banana peel. " The rain nettle burned behind the tree. Haiyun began to worship God: ",,,,,(omitted from the front) Then help me curse her and curse her for breaking her leg before the exam and failing the exam." "MuRongYunHai! ! ! ! ! "Rain nettles emerged from behind the tree. The sea of clouds was startled.

80. (At this moment, Chu Zheng angrily returned a box of money that Mr. Murong's mother gave her uncle to Mr. Murong ...)

Ye Shuo: "How did the rain nettle come? She walks very fast. Something must have happened! " "

Shangguan: "Those who come badly will not come! I don't know who provoked her again! "

Murong Haiyun (very confident): "Anyway, this time! Definitely not me! "

(At this time, everyone looks at the end of the log.)

At this time, the rain nettle came over and said, "Haiyun, come here!" " "

(Shangguan clapped his hands at this moment) Murong Haiyun: "How come it's me again?"

8 1. (Duanmu teaches Haiyun to learn) Duanmu: "In fact, learning is sometimes not rote learning. You see, like this question,' which country did the Asian financial crisis first break out in?' The answer is Thailand. Thailand and the financial crisis, what can you think of? "

Shangguan: "Thailand?"

Ye Shuo: "Machine?"

Yunhai: "Hair dryer ~ lighter?" ..... tractor? "

Shangguan: "Taitai Taitai Taitai Taitai thai massage!"

Sea of clouds: "Yes! Doesn't massage mean massage in Japan? So ... the answer is: Japan! Right? "

Shangguan: "..."

Duanmu: "..."

Ye Shuo (turning his back and holding his arm): "It's so cold ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~"

82. (In the finale, Yu Xin and Duanmu are in the piano room) Duanmu: "I know what you mean, but I am willing to die for you, but I must live well for the rain nettle." (turning around)

83. Xiaoyu said to Shangguan, "The reason why a person has many girlfriends is because he has never met someone he really likes."

Shangguan: "Someone finally found a beautiful excuse for my playboy."

84. Murong Haiyun: (half kneeling, sincerely) "Mom, you and Yu Wei are the two most important women in the world."

Murong Yunduo: (lowers his head and rolls his eyes innocently) "Ahem ..."

Murong Haiyun: (dumbfounded, laughing) "Of course, there is another sister."