How to easily deal with awkwardness in communication?

One day, Xiao Ma went to visit his friend Lao Li's house, and happened to meet another friend of Lao Li, Xiao Shi, who also came to visit. Xiao Ma and Xiao Shi had never met before, and they started chatting while their master was busy in the kitchen. While chatting, Xiao Ma suddenly asked Xiao Shi: "Which university did you graduate from?" Xiao Shi immediately seemed a little embarrassed and hesitated to speak. However, Xiao Ma didn't notice anything from it, and instead added: "You majored in science and engineering, right?" At this time, Xiao Shi was even more embarrassed, so he could only hesitantly say: "I'm not a college student." With just this sentence, the two of them couldn't find a suitable topic for a long time.

We often encounter some embarrassing things in life, which happen suddenly and unexpectedly. Because we are not mentally prepared enough, we seem a little at a loss. At this time, people's feelings are more uncomfortable than public criticism, such as causing congestion in the face, rapid heartbeat, stuttering in speech, etc.

Sometimes the embarrassment is intentional on the other side's part, relying on the close relationship to publicly reveal your shortcomings or tell you about your past stupid things. Sometimes it is unintentional and unknowingly expresses your hidden pain. If they are really angry, they will say "It was just a joke" and accuse you of being too sensitive or not understanding humor. It's not a pleasant thing to be laughed at in a public place, but don't think it's a trivial matter and deal with it casually.

On such occasions, most people usually become very angry, stammer, and turn red with embarrassment. But you have another option, which is to keep a cool head and take the initiative.

Don't spend too much time thinking about this question: "Why does he have trouble with me?" Some people deliberately humiliate you, and you should retaliate righteously to stop their rude behavior on the spot. You can say something like this: "You achieved your purpose of humiliating me, but can you tell me why you did this?" Or question: "You seem very angry, what did I do to apologize to you?"

No matter how the other person reacts, you must not lose your mind. If you get angry, it will give the person who is humiliating you the upper hand and attract the attention of others, thereby achieving the purpose of humiliating you.

In more cases, the way to resolve a difficult situation is to react cleverly and humorously. A famous psychologist once told a story: There were two female writers, one of whom had just finished writing a book and was intoxicated by the praise, while the other was very frustrated. One day, they met on the road. The latter walked straight up to the former and said, "I like your book, who wrote it for you?" "I'm glad you like my book." The successful female writer replied, "Who read it to you? ?" Coincidentally, the famous fairy tale writer Andersen once met a rude person. He looked at Andersen's hat and said, "I'm curious why you wear such a broken hat on your head?" Andersen replied with a smile: "I'm also wondering why you have such a head under your beautiful hat!" In fact, showing a "demeanor under pressure" is often the best counterattack against malicious humiliation.

In real life, making a fool of yourself in public and hearing others reveal your background is a common thing that you don’t want to face. To avoid this kind of embarrassment, individuals need to have certain skills. adaptability and skills. Young people have relatively little social experience, so what should they do when encountering such situations? 1. Remain calm and emotionless. In the process of communication, your embarrassment attracts the attention of others, which will cause tension, thus further deepening your embarrassment. The way to deal with it is to deal with it calmly and calmly. For example, if you go to a friend's house for an appointment and find that most of the people here are strangers, you will treat them as acquaintances. If your expression is natural, others will take the initiative to greet you, and the feeling of strangeness will be reduced.

2． Apologize sincerely and explain it truthfully. Often, embarrassment caused by misunderstandings can be eliminated by truthfully explaining the situation. If the embarrassing situation is caused by your own mistakes or behavioral flaws, you can make up for it with a timely and sincere apology. If you spit on others when you talk, most others won't care if you say sorry. Sometimes, in order to save "face", you can also convert a direct apology into an indirect apology and give the other party spiritual compensation, such as expressing your feelings over the phone, or conveying your feelings in kind, giving the other party a bouquet of flowers. These are all the art of apology, and can achieve this. Silence is better than sound.

Once, a famous conductor was invited to a middle school to explain music appreciation theory to teachers and students. At first, he was full of professional jargon, but the more students listened, the more confused they became. One boy decisively handed him a note and asked him to explain it in a way they could understand. The conductor felt very embarrassed. He immediately stood up, first apologized to the boy, and then asked everyone if they had such a request. "Yes!" Many students immediately raised their hands, and he said sincerely: "However, this is a very troublesome thing for me, because I have to put aside the material at hand for the time being. Of course, I can't blame the students. , I will try to explain it in another way now. If it is not organized enough, I hope the students will forgive me." His words actually won a round of applause. If the conductor cannot adapt calmly to the embarrassment, things will only get worse. Afterwards, the teachers and students talked together and expressed deep admiration for the conductor's frank attitude and good demeanor.

3. Use humor to divert attention. Sometimes, appropriate self-deprecation and ridicule are not only humorous and interesting, and can eliminate the embarrassing atmosphere, but also reflect one's broad mind and cultivation. And sometimes, when someone asks you a question that you don't want to answer, you can also use humor to divert attention and change the topic, and others will usually understand.

When Xiao Wang moved, he notified several of his best friends, because they already knew the news of his moving, and they couldn't hide it even if they wanted to. Besides, Xiao Wang didn't want to disturb other people. However, just as the banquet to celebrate the housewarming was in progress, Lao Chen, who was in the same office as Xiao Wang, knocked on the door and came in. For a moment, Xiao Wang seemed quite embarrassed, because when Lao Chen asked him yesterday, he said it was too early to move. Lao Chen saw Xiao Wang's embarrassment, so he pretended to be very relaxed and said a very humorous saying to everyone: "When Xiao Wang invited me here, he told me: You only need to press the doorbell with your elbow." That's it. I asked him: Why do you have to use your elbow to press it? He said: You can't come empty-handed, right?" Lao Chen's words made the whole room laugh, and everyone quickly gave up their seats to him. He also kept saying: "Please, please!" Humor can sweep away the awkward and dull atmosphere, and quickly achieve mutual communication in the relaxed and humane ridicule, which is more skillful than responding calmly.

4． Adapt to circumstances and transform embarrassment. Being good at handling situations adaptively not only makes awkwardness less embarrassing, but also provides a rare opportunity for self-expression. Once, the personnel department held a regular meeting, and the section chief's lengthy speech made people drowsy. Suddenly, the electricity, which had been out for a long time, came on again, and the electric fan started spinning. The skirt of the female staff member Xiaoma, who was dozing on the armchair, was suddenly lifted up to her legs, and the red panties underneath were exposed. Several men were at a loss for a moment, either looking at it or not looking at it because it was too eye-catching. Everyone felt very embarrassed, but they couldn't think of any way to relieve the embarrassment. The section chief found out. He pretended to cough and shouted: "Little Ma!" Little Ma suddenly woke up. "Get everyone a pot of water." The section chief said in a commanding tone. Just as Xiao Ma was about to stand up, he saw that his skirt was lifted by the wind, and his face turned red with embarrassment. She glanced at the section chief gratefully and immediately went out with the kettle. Faced with such embarrassment, it is difficult to use humor to resolve it. The only way is to use a little wit to quietly wake up the person involved and make the embarrassment invisible. Of course, goodwill is indispensable.

5. Learn to laugh at yourself. After being ridiculed, don't spend time thinking about the other person's purpose of being against me, let alone assuming there is any "deep hatred". Because it may be a habit for those who do it intentionally, and it is the same for everyone, and it cannot intensify conflicts if it is unintentional. Let your mind relax and transfer this joke to everyone. If someone says, "As expected of you, you are a pig, you are really good at eating." You might as well add, "That's why we can get together."

6． Be good at understanding and tolerant. France's Breuer once said: "Two people who do not forgive each other's minor mistakes cannot become old friends." No one is perfect. When others are sarcastic or ridiculed in their words, you might as well pretend to be slow to react and not care. Instead, you should be fully understanding and tolerant of the other person's unintentional mistakes. If you use your quick words for a while, it will only become more and more tense, causing embarrassment to turn into conflict, and the atmosphere will become more tense.

Two young girls met to see a teacher, and the teacher went to get them drinks.

They wanted to tease the teacher's cat, but the cat was frightened and jumped onto the table, knocking over the vase and falling to the ground. The teacher heard the sound and came over, smiled and said to them: "Okay, save me the trouble, I'm just thinking of getting a new one." The two female companions looked at each other and stuck out their tongues with a smile. The teacher didn't care at all, and comforted them with a very light word. If they stood up and explained that it was the cat that knocked over the vase, the teacher might have an "outside view" of them.

7. Avoid embarrassing situations. As the saying goes: "If you can't afford to offend, you can afford to hide. Thirty-six tactics are the best way to go." If you encounter an embarrassing situation but don't have the courage and ability to resolve it, your best option is to leave the scene quickly. And the sooner the better. For those who are naturally timid but extremely sensitive, anticipating the possibility of embarrassment in advance or leaving as soon as the slightest hint of embarrassment occurs is a great trick. No matter how strong the palm force is, if there is no face receiving the force, the electricity is no more than a gust of wind.

8． Take advantage of the situation and turn disadvantage into advantage. In general, advantages and disadvantages are relative to each other. As long as the key points can be found, disadvantages can be turned into advantages. For a female secretary who has just started working, what could be more embarrassing than two of the first letters after going to work being sent to the wrong address? However, 24-year-old Ms. Liu called immediately after learning about the situation. I apologized to the customer and made continuous phone calls for a day after the customer refused, and finally I fell in love with him. Through this incident, I learned about her personality and serious work attitude. Later, I always contacted her for business with the company.

9. Deflect embarrassment. In medicine, this so-called pain transfer method means that when a pain that is difficult to conquer is replaced by another pain that is easier to conquer, the former pain often gradually loses its original pain under the influence of the latter pain. , this method can also be applied to self-regulation in embarrassing moments. Of course, there is another form of transferring embarrassment, which is to transfer embarrassment to bystanders, but it must be noted that the embarrassment you transfer should be a well-intentioned opportunity to create a joke. 10. Pretending to be mentally fragile. People all have a common characteristic, that is, they sympathize with the weak. When you encounter embarrassment, if you immediately make an extreme reaction, you will either feel regretful or extremely painful. In short, you must make others look extremely psychologically fragile, as if what just happened has excessively hurt your self-esteem. Under normal circumstances, when others see your "tragic situation", most of them will stop and stop chasing you.

11. Give a strong counterattack. This is the most effective way to deal with embarrassment. He must first consider the identity of the target, secondly the environment, and thirdly the strength of the counterattack. Because embarrassment itself is not a shockingly big problem, it is a fault at best, so before you decide to fight back, you must understand the purpose of your fight back. If the result of the counterattack is to free yourself and hurt others, then it is best to give up; if the result of the counterattack is that everyone is happy, then you might as well give it a try. This kind of result directly reflects the party's understanding of the other party and its precise grasp of the strength of the counterattack. However, we must also remember that we must be self-serving and not harmful to others!

Embarrassment is an emotional reaction. Only by finding ways to stabilize your emotions can you easily cope with embarrassing situations in relationships. , with ease!