What should I do if I have a crush on a married man (what should I do if I fall in love with a married man)

Never get entangled with a married man! Maybe you are still addicted to courage and persistence in love, but you are laughed at by this man for being silly and gullible. Whether you are married or not, don't get involved with married men.

If a married man doesn't talk about money with you, he only talks about feelings and doesn't give you identity, which is equivalent to giving you an ideal instead of a salary when the company hires you;

Married men give you money and don't give you identity. In fact, they regard you as a commodity with a price, not a woman with flesh and blood and feelings.

If he brainwashes you and makes you feel that you are saving him, you are giving him unique love, that is, he bought your precious feelings at the lowest cost;

Even if a man abandons his wife and children for you, he is actually a selfish man and has no sense of responsibility for the family in front of him. People's nature will not change easily. Even if you become a frequent visitor, he will treat you like an ex-wife!

Let's take a look at the common classic lies of married men:

1. The wife at home doesn't understand him and has bad feelings.

Married men always give many reasons, saying that the one at home is a tigress, a demon and a housewife who knows nothing; I haven't had sex with my wife for a long time, so I'll leave my body to you. I laughed when I wrote this. )

2. Just talk about feelings and give you nothing.

He said that only you know her, only you are his favorite, and you are the purest and purest feeling. You don't want his money or his official position. Between heaven and earth, in this life, you are the goddess in his heart How nice, how do married men make it up? Exchange the cheapest rhetoric for your feelings and body. )

He is in trouble.

He will have a lot of hardships and difficulties. Only you are sensible and understand him. Actually, because of your stupidity, I let him sleep for nothing. How did the pain come from, arousing your desire to care about his motherhood and arousing your selfless dedication. )

Case:

I once met a girl, Xiao Chun, who came to consult me carefully. She didn't tell me the truth directly, but told me that she had a crush on a married man.

We talked for a long time that day, and then she told the truth. The truth is not unrequited love.

When Xiao Chun was working in a company, the boss of the cooperative unit took a fancy to her and confessed to her, but Xiao Chun refused. But after many attempts, Xiao Chun couldn't stand the gentleness of the old man, so she reluctantly got together.

Later, because the other person was mature, rich and humorous, she became the man's mistress. When Xiao Chun's parents learned about it, they quarreled with Xiao Chun and tried to stop it. However, Xiao Chun was very stubborn. At the instigation of men, Xiao Chun broke up with his parents and moved out to live in an apartment rented by men.

The man paid the rent for three months with sweet words and fell in love for three months. After that, the man stopped paying, so Xiao Chun had to pay the rent himself. The mistress's identity, Xiao Chun, is five years. Later, the man got tired of it. It is estimated that his wife has a strong background and strong personality. All the expenses of a man are collected by his wife, which is completely forbidden.

The man had no money, so his wife put pressure on him to clean up the women outside within a time limit. So this man decided to break up with Xiao Chun and return to his family. In this way, the man suddenly looked like a hypocrite, saying that he could not betray his family or do anything special, and said a lot of high-sounding words. Xiao Chun, like a leaf, was dumped by a man, and how to cry and make trouble was ruthlessly rejected.

Xiao Chun is still stubborn. She was unwilling to give a man a child to tie him up. The man was tempted by this proposal, but he turned down Xiao Chun. He said: "It is really hard for me to refuse such a good thing as having a baby. Other women tried to have me before, but I refused. But now I really want to go back to my family. I must be loyal to my family. Forget me, please stop pestering me. I wish you happiness. " Later, the man hacked Xiao Chun's WeChat.

Xiao Chun asked me again and again, "Why did he dump me? Is he scum? I love him very much and want to have a baby for him. I don't need my birthright. Why didn't he accept it? "

I began to feel sorry for her and her stupidity. I wasted five years of my youth, and I have to give birth to a man after being dumped, so I don't want to be named. What does she want? It is because she doesn't want anything that she is led by the nose so silly that she can't tell the pros and cons.

When I gave her an analysis, I advised her to say, "Silly girl, all married men weigh the pros and cons. If you are nice to him, he will want you. If you treat him badly, of course he will dump you! "

"Didn't you see that he is not a slag? You have been his secret love for five years, so you broke up with your family and moved out. He didn't even help you pay the rent for the golden house. Don't you understand? I slept for nothing. "

"The somebody else all dumped you, you still want to have children for him. Even if you don't want to be famous, you are bent on giving birth to his children. The question is, do you think he will raise this child? "

Xiao Chun is very unhappy. She said, "Teacher, how can you say that?" . We have feelings, and there is no such thing as weighing the pros and cons. Besides, he can't deny his children. "

Hey, I have a bad temper. I said, "Jackie Chan, do you know, Jackie Chan's illegitimate daughter, how many years of news, do you know?" Excuse me, has he ever known his daughter?

And Huang Qiusheng himself was an illegitimate child, so he suffered greatly. And he himself has a 20-year-old illegitimate child, who has been left out in the cold for 20 years in Britain, and Huang Qiusheng has never been involved in raising him. Later, it was the boy who went to find his father. He is only 20 years old. I won't admit it until I find him. So, do you want to raise a big child by yourself?

Also, last month, I just received a case that made me angry: a married man encouraged several women to have children for himself outside, and then boasted that he was king, so that all those women would have children for him. He just didn't give living expenses, he just enjoyed the sense of accomplishment that this woman worked so hard for him. Can you really stand this? "

Xiao Chun was frightened. She said innocently, "God, I never thought he would deny his children. I never thought he would deny being irresponsible. It turns out that men can do the same! "

I continued to answer her: "Why did you dump you as a married man? You have to think clearly. First of all, you followed him at the age of 24, and now you are 29. You almost spent your youth bonus.

Secondly, he has no money now, no money, no money, and all the money was taken away by his wife, just as he said in the chat record he gave you. Even if you give birth to him, will he have money to support him? Dare he take money from home to support him? He can't hide from you! You still want to have him! Silly girl! ! "

Xiao Chun thought for a moment and continued: "Then, then I will raise the child myself!"

I said, "Yes, that's right. You are fertile. You can have a baby. After giving birth, you can raise your own children without getting married. But you have to understand two things first.

First, do you really understand the energy and economic conditions needed to raise children?

For example, when a child is born, who will take care of it? You can't work alone. You have to work to earn money to buy milk powder, tuition, living expenses and so on. Can you really be a good working mother? You have to earn money, take care of children and even carry milk. In the first two years after the baby is born, the baby will wake up in the middle of the night and cry, and you can't even sleep enough. Not to mention getting ready for work the next day.

Who will take care of your children when you go to work? Hire a nanny? Do you know how much a nanny costs a month? If you can't afford a nanny and take care of your children, you'll be unemployed!

Second, as a single mother, are you ready?

If you ask your parents for help, your family has already broken up with you because of this man. Have you really considered your parents' feelings now? Stabbed in the spine. Besides, when your parents are old, will she really have the strength to help you?

Third, are you really willing to let your children have no name and no points?

You can bear it yourself, but have you thought about children? Born as an illegitimate child, I carry this pot all my life, and my mother planted poisonous fruit all my life. Why should children bear it? "

Xiao Chun was silent for two minutes and replied, "Teacher, you are right. I really didn't think so much before. I didn't expect men to be so realistic. I have to digest it. "

I encouraged her to vent her emotions, cry, think about it, and come to me for advice next time. In psychological counseling, it is also a common way to leave blank and guide consultants to reflect and digest themselves.

During the second consultation, she said to me, "Teacher, I have thought about it, and I want to forget him. But I'm 29 years old. In our third-tier city, I'm afraid I can't get married. I am afraid that there is no future. "

I said, "For women, age is just a number. With the increase of experience, the charm of women is more mellow. However, if you are old but don't have the wisdom you deserve at that age, you will suffer a big loss. Therefore, you need to quit and grow. "

So we entered her exit and growth plan.

1. Organize your dreams:

Life is like a trip. If you don't have a dream, you have no direction. So first of all, sort out Xiao Chun's dreams, determine the direction of everything, and then determine the details of the action.

After guidance, I asked Xiao Chun to write down her previous dreams and things she wanted to do but didn't do, and then I discussed, screened and planned beside her.

Later, her dream and what she wanted to do were: 1. Travel to Seattle. 2. Help others for public welfare. 3. Become beautiful and confident.

Act for your dreams.

According to the above dream, we began to make some plans to realize it.

For example, doing public welfare, I instructed Xiao Chun to find the volunteer requirements and registration methods for community or local sports events, and to find volunteer positions that fit her characteristics. She is a nurse by profession and can be a nursing volunteer.

For example, if you want to travel to Seattle, you must first increase the toll, calculate the required expenses, and then save money with this amount as the goal. When this amount is saved enough, she can take time off to play.

For example, to be beautiful and confident, I found some beauty courses and Pilates courses suitable for her and urged her to practice every day.

According to her needs, she asked herself to learn English, so I began to urge her to learn English. She clocks in to work every day.

3. Psychological counseling and love teaching

Because of lovelorn love, emotions are easy to fluctuate or get out of control. I will observe her emotions in my daily life, disassemble and analyze the advantages and disadvantages of her out of control, adjust guidance in time, and help her through the emotional fluctuation period.

She is very simple. According to my own experience, professional knowledge and cases I have handled, I explained to her the way of getting along with men and women in a targeted way, so that her future marriage and love can be handled with ease.

During this time, she controlled her emotional impulse, increased her correct understanding of men and women, and increased her confidence in action. Inspired by her own dreams, I waved a whip to urge her to grow up quickly. After a period of promotion, it is really beautiful to dress up. She is a little more confident and cheerful than before, and I can feel the sunshine on her when I talk to her.

Half a year later, under my guidance and company, she has talked about a new love. The other party is the same age as her, and they met at a sports meeting. They are all volunteers who go to participate in activities. The other party is attracted by her sunshine vitality. This little couple is very sweet. Xiao Chun said to me, "I can finally talk about a normal relationship. Really sweet. "

Summary:

Touching a married man is playing with fire. Because married men weigh the pros and cons, little girls are still a little young to play. When you are seduced by a married man, first think about what the other person wants from you, and then consider whether you can bear the loss. Married men are like snails. He occasionally touches his tentacles, but he won't give up his shell easily because the person he lives with is his wife.

Of course, even if a man abandons his wife and children for you, he is actually a selfish man with no sense of responsibility for the family in front of him. People's nature will not change easily. Even if you become a frequent visitor, he will treat you like an ex-wife!

I am Dai. Please talk to me if you have difficulties in marriage. Maybe there will be new inspiration and help.