I like jokes, I would like to ask you where to go (preferably the forum) to have the funniest and latest jokes! Thank you

1. If a tiger doesn't send a cat, you think I'm dying!

2. When I was in high school, the classroom discipline was chaotic. In a rage, the teacher picked up XXX and said, XXX, stand on the wall for me! ~ ~ the whole class is cold!

3. Me: That's our physics teacher. . .

classmate: what do you teach?

me: chemistry. . .

4. In the Internet cafe, a classmate suddenly raised his hand and shouted, "Teacher!"

5. One person in our dormitory drinks too much, so he has to pee, and then he brings out a cold saying: If he drinks too much, there will be a lot of wine.

6. Buy oranges, boss: one yuan and 51 Jin. Me: It's too expensive, five yuan and three Jin. Boss: no, no.

7. My friend asked me about the computer configuration, and I said that the monitor is a color screen. (I originally wanted to say LCD)

8. Junior high school art evening, grab the answering session.

hostess: "attention, everyone, don't grab too fast. When I finished, I started to raise my hand.

Then I started to read the topic and said, "Now open. . 。”

at this time, a contestant rushed to answer.

The host said, "This classmate is a little anxious. I started (shit) in my mouth, so why did you rob me?

9. I heard a MM shouting "Give me a bowl of viper~!"

1. At school

One day, a phone call came to my classmate and handed it to me and said, "Your mother."

As soon as I answered the phone, I casually said, "A man and a woman"

Everyone laughed and I was laughed for four years

11. My classmate's high school classmate (a boy) walked into the noodle restaurant and threw his hair away: "Boss, two onions don't want rice noodles!" After that, I added: "More rice noodles!" Boss: ". . . . Do you want rice noodles or shallots?

12. Once my classmate's mother called me

I used to say "he's not here", but this time I wanted to say "he's out"

The result was: "he's … gone"

13. gg handed me an sorbet and I bit it and shouted.

14. My sister and I went to Li Ning to buy shoes. My sister said, "Miss, how much are these shoes?"

15. I went home on weekends when I was at school. After dinner, I became addicted to cigarettes and planned to go for a walk under an excuse. When changing shoes at the door, my father asked me why I was going. I casually said, "Go for a smoke!" As a result, dad found a pack of 555 from me and gave me a good K.

16. A leader of the Education Bureau inspected the exercises between classes. After that, the PE teacher should have announced "dissolution", but in a hurry, he forgot his words and held back for a long time, shouting, "Retreat!"

17. In high school, there was a teacher whose surname was Jiang, who looked like Luo Jiaying (who played the Tang priest on a westward journey). I went to ask him a question and blurted out, "Teacher Tang, this question ..."

18. One colleague, when I was driving on the road, I had a flat tire and asked where there was an inflatable one. My colleague said, "There are abortions everywhere in the street!"

19. A teacher probably played mahjong all night. When he saw that the blackboard had not been wiped, he was furious: "Who is the farmer today?" Don't wipe the blackboard! "

2. Once my uncle saw my sister-in-law wearing a big treasure, he suddenly shouted, "You have such good skin, why do you still use a soothing treasure?"

21. The teacher left homework, so I copied others' homework if I couldn't do it. Then I went to the office to hand in my homework and saw the teacher say, "I've copied it!" "

22. On one occasion, when we traveled to Huangshan Mountain, the tour guide just introduced that the Hundred Steps Ladder was in Liu Xiaoqing <; < Xiaohua > > Attractions. Suddenly, a man in our group blurted out, "Director ..." Everyone was dizzy.

23. I quarreled with my mm phone. She turned up the TV so loudly that I was annoyed. I said loudly, "Turn off the phone for me!" " Now that I think about it, it's cold!

24. A high school classmate of a classmate in my dormitory called. He said who he was looking for, but I said I wasn't there. Then he said thank you.

25. Before, someone else came to my aunt's house and just entered the door. It happened that my aunt had to go to the bathroom. She quickly greeted the guests and said, "Sit down, sit down, I'll go to the toilet and pour you some tea!" "

26. During the military training in the university, the instructor shouted: Align with your sidelight ~ ~ ~ We want to laugh but dare not. That's sad ...

27. Our unit has a car to pick up and drop off at work in the morning, because the car is not big. Once, a male colleague sitting next to me stood up and was enthusiastic. I laughed until I got off the bus ~!

28. I used to be obsessed with online games, and I often killed people in Internet cafes. After the semester ended, I went home with a group of buddies, and the train was about to leave, but we didn't find the platform yet. I suddenly said, "MD, why don't there even be a coordinate (actually, we need to find a sign)! ~ "My buddy burst into laughter after listening to this ~~

29. In college, a classmate argued with me and was at a disadvantage for a while. In a hurry, he got up and shouted: You are talking nonsense, I am not stupid!

3. A buddy of mine went on a blind date. When he came back, everyone asked him how he was. The buddy said: This girl is really rough. At noon, two people went into a beef noodle restaurant. The girl said loudly to the master: Hey, pull two bowls for Lamian Noodles's master and say: Do you want to eat? I'll pull if I eat.

31. When I was a child, popsicles and ice cream were usually sold by pushing bicycles. Once, I heard an aunt shouting in the house: The new ice cream is hot. (It is estimated that my aunt used to sell fried dough sticks.)

32. When I was in college, I went to Hengshan to play. At that time, I was halfway up the mountain. When I was tired, I saw a souvenir-buying Obasan on the roadside. When I went up, I asked, "Wife ..."

33. When I was studying by myself, everyone was watching the review. GG said to MM, "I just recited the words. MM doesn't want to be silent, GG asks her, you (touch) me, (touch) me! ! As a result, MM couldn't stand it, shouting, Teacher, you see I don't want to (touch) him, but he insisted that I (touch) him ~ ~! ! !

34. One day, I went to my classmate's house for dinner and drank some wine. Her father suddenly came in. He wanted to call uncle, but he made a mistake and said, "Dad, come and sit down!" " ~ ~ cold! A large group of students laughed to death

35. My colleague argued with others and opened his mouth in a hurry. "Do you think I grew up eating?" I've always wondered what he grew up eating. "

36. In primary school, a very annoying boy asked me to borrow an eraser. If I didn't borrow it, he would pester me and beat me. After that, I shouted with all my strength," I won't marry (lend) you. "At that time, my classmates immediately quieted down.

37. Once in ktv, I ordered songs, and one mm shouted: Give me a song of "Double Jielun" with a stick cut every week ...

38. Once my roommate was in a hurry, and "I'll slap you to death" laughed wildly ...

39. When I was in a middle school, I was away from home, and I was in a hurry.