Funny and funny question

* Question: How can I lose my hips most effectively?

Answer: rub the tree.

* Problem: The monitor screen continues to shake slightly. what can I do?

You've been shaking, too. When your frequency and amplitude are consistent with the display, you won't feel anything.

* Question: Why don't good horses turn grass?

Answer: Because horses shit behind.

* Question: How to get rid of annoying dogs? There is a dog near my house, no matter it runs casually, it often poops in front of my house at night. Is there any way to stop it from defecating in my house, or kill it without anyone knowing?

Answer 1: It's no use telling the host. Let me tell you a good idea. Every time a dog poops, you peek. When the dog finds you peeking, he will be shy and never dare to shit in front of your house again.

Answer 2: buy it a computer and then teach it to surf the internet, so it won't have time to come to the door.

Question: Why do I get dizzy when playing 3D games?

Answer 1: The cerebellum is underdeveloped.

Answer 2: The brain is underdeveloped.

Answer 3: Both brains are underdeveloped.

* Question: How to get rid of ants?

Answer 1: Sticking the words "martial law" or "sealed up" on the dormitory door creates the illusion that the dormitory has stopped operating.

Answer 2: Just buy an anteater.

Answer 3: Play Zhang Chu's song "Ant" 30 times.

Answer 4: Stick this question on the door of the nest, it's hard to kill them! Those who survive will be tortured to death by this paradox.

Answer 5: Keep some termites and let them discriminate against each other and kill each other.

Question: How can I find more money in the street?

Answer 1: Just drop your wallet on the floor.

Answer 2: It is better to be a garbage cleaner. There is a good chance of changing money like this.

Answer 3: Don't pick up money or bow your head. Money falls from the sky, so keep looking up.

* Question: What is the simplest secret of longevity?

Answer: Keep breathing and don't die.

* Question: I want to ask Baidu if you know it. If you know it, you will know it. If you don't know it, you won't know it. If you don't know it, you won't know it. If you don't know it, you will know it. Please punctuate, your eyes are not careful ~

Answer: I want to ask Baidu if it knows: "Do you know?" You know what you know, but you don't know what you don't know If you don't know, you don't know, and if you don't know, you will eventually become ignorant, ignorant or ignorant. God knows, earth knows, Baidu knows, if you want to ask me if I know, I know and I don't know!

Q: Why doesn't the moon go around the sun?

Answer: Because the moon goes around the earth.

* Question: Who is Liu San's confession?

Answer 1: the earth after heaven.

Answer 2: Emperor Yanhuang.

Answer 3: peaches.

Question: How do you say "incredible" in English? I often hear in movies, how do you write the words "Bao Baolei Baby" or "Scratching Bao Si"? What do you mean accurate?

Answer: It should be like this:

Incredible (saving the baby) incredible!

Impossible (grasping the treasure) impossible! The tone of this sentence is stronger than the previous one.

* Question: What's the harm of crossing your legs?

Answer: the ass will be half big and half small.

* Question: Why do people fear heights and birds don't?

Answer 1: People know the feeling of falling, but birds don't.

Answer 2: When a bird flies, it never worries. It doesn't care about its wings. And people always think too much and suffer too much.

* Question: Why does the wizard ride a broom instead of a bench?

Answer: Because riding a broom is much more handsome than sitting on a bench, you can pretend to be a sweeper when you meet the enemy (too powerful to beat yourself).

* Question: Why do Superman's underwear always wear outside?

Answer 1: You wear it inside. Who knew you were Superman?

Answer 2: Batman, put on underwear; Spider-Man, wearing underwear; How can Superman not take the fashion route? He is wearing underwear. ...

Q: I have a virus in my computer. What pesticides should I buy?

Answer 1: Nothing. You can leave the computer on for a month and let the virus starve to death.

Answer 2: Starving to death is not enough. I'm too hungry. What if the virus crawls out and infects someone else's computer? Not only will you have the opportunity to starve to death, but you will also seal the computer with a bag and cut it off from water, food and gas.

Answer 3: Use Fuyanjie. Washing is healthier.

Answer 4: Yanfu Street cannot be used. Upstairs. What if the computer is a man? In fact, the tide is the best. No harm to hands, sterilization.

Answer 5: None upstairs is kind. Computer viruses can't use pesticides. Just take the computer to the epidemic prevention station and give the doctor an injection. After that, an injection every year can completely prevent the virus from invading.

* Question: My computer has a virus; I sprayed insecticide on the mainframe. Why don't I care?

Answer 1: You can talk to the pesticide manufacturer, otherwise you can sue the consumer association.

Answer 2: Not bad. You don't spray enough. A little more.

The best answer: Chinese virus should be a software problem, not a hardware problem, so it is useless for you to spray the host. You should turn on the computer, remove the hard disk, and then remove the hard disk before spraying, which will solve your problem! (Don't laugh, be serious)

Q: Are there any fattening drugs on the market? What can I eat to get fat? The simpler the better!

Answer: Yes, it only takes a while to get fat immediately. The way is to find a hornet's nest and put your hand in it and stir it twice. Oh, just for a moment. I promise to be so fat that I don't even know your mother.

* Question: Ask the expert what gun is suitable for robbing a bank, where to buy a gun, and how much is an AK-47? Tell me what you know. thank you

Answer: no experienced people are here, but you will see if you try to catch them.

* Question: Please give some examples of chemistry benefiting mankind.

Answer 1: In the past century, chemistry has made the most outstanding contribution to human society: synthetic fibers, dyes, petrochemicals, medicine, fertilizers, synthetic materials and so on.

Answer 2: the original bomb. Nothing is not "service".

* Problem: An intellectual problem. What's behind 228? What is behind 103? What is behind 85? All three answers are the same! Just give me the answer.

Answer: Yes.

* Question: Do stars need to eat and go to the toilet?

Answer 1: Of course not. A star's meal is called "rice". When a star goes to the toilet, it is called "bathroom". So there is no need to "eat" and "go to the toilet".

Answer 2: If you don't see it, just pretend it never happened.

Q: Can I be entrusted with the mission of maintaining world peace?

Answer 1: If you are a super action hero, I will consider it.

Answer 2: Of course not. You must stand up in the next US presidential election, or the American people will never agree.

Answer 3: If you have superhuman strength, the ability to change stars, the ability of ninja turtles, the courage of Astro Boy, the wisdom of rest, the courage of Mao Zedong, the means of Zhou Enlai and the plan of George H.W. Bush, you can basically maintain world peace.

Answer 4: Make such a big joke.

Answer 5: Who are you? Why should I give it to you! If you are Altman, you can!

* Question: Why is it forbidden to "heat up quickly" in student dormitories?

A: First of all, it needs electricity.

Second, it is easy to catch fire.

Third, boiled water can only wash feet, because the quality is not good.

* Question: How to wash clothes?

Answer: Wash frequently.

Question: Is it so difficult to eat shrimp porridge alone?

1 A: Let's practice oral English. It is not difficult to make it clear.

A: Is porridge human? ... using anthropomorphic technology?

A: It won't be difficult to give porridge a steamed stuffed bun.

* Question: Can something happen if you accidentally swallow a flying insect?

Answer: Of course it's a good thing. You can taste the rare game in the world. Those things are rich in protein and contain many trace elements, which will definitely increase your skills.

* Question: Help! My computer won't open! The fan doesn't turn, and the motherboard light doesn't light up!

Best answer: Is it plugged in?

The best answer is added: No!

* Question: I am a student in the computer network class. We are going to have a sports meeting, and the teacher wants us to say a slogan for the class? To be novel and innovative is related to the computer network we have studied.

Answer 1: Maximum flow, fastest speed!

Answer 2: We promise not to get stuck.

Answer 3: XX class in our class, telephone line, small optical fiber!

* Question: Who can describe the relationship between CPU, memory and hard disk?

Answer: Are you cpu memory, bowl, hard disk or pot? You eat directly from the bowl, but things come out of the pot.

* Question: The baby will be born in February 2007. Father's surname is Zhang and mother's surname is Wang. Please give us a name. What are boys and girls? It is best to have a double-character name and a verb-object structure.

Answer: Octopus King

* Question: The person I love is taken! People who love me are terrible! ! Why is this happening?

Answer: although the famous flowers have been taken, they can be loosened occasionally.

Although it looks unsightly, sultry heat can also relieve summer heat.

Question: How to resist the temptation of beautiful women?

Answer: if you eat the sugar coating, the shells will come back!

* Question: Did my guppy die in one day 100? Why is this happening?

Answer: All because of you.

1 Because you are a rich fool.

How much does it cost to burn

Because you are an uneducated fool.

Why buy so many at once? You won't put two pieces of water first.

Because you are a gullible fool.

The merchant bought you sick fish.

Because you are an idiot who doesn't know how to raise fish.

Think for yourself ~ ~ ~ .........

Q: Why are there so many crows over tianjin polytechnic university?

Answer: Because crows want to mix diplomas.