Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - The beast knows the main story in his heart.
The beast knows the main story in his heart.
The money widow in our village has a fool, older than me, nicknamed centenarian.
At the age of 16 or 17, he was already very strong, but everyone in the village laughed at him like a child talking nonsense. His mother at least asked someone to intercede and let him go to Hotan to do long-term work for the Qin family. I remember that I 100 years old only worked for half a day and yelled at me for low back pain in front of widows. Let him go to herd cattle for the Qin family. He played with some "dogs don't eat children" (the language of widow Qian), only to find that he hid the cows in the Woods in the east of the village. He was so angry that the widow of money was dying to live, chasing after her with the soles of her shoes. When he couldn't catch up, he sat on the ground, crying his hard life and his dead father.
However, centenarians can do one thing, that is, whoever kills a sheep and pulls a dog, in order to get a pair of dogs into the water or a sheep intestine, whoever comes uninvited will be hard to kill with his hand.
There is a camphor tree behind my house, which has been painted smooth with dog blood and dog fat. Every time he killed a dog in a hundred years, he hung the dog on a branch facing south and watched the dog's neck tighten and its limbs flutter. In a hundred years, I sometimes laugh and dance, saying that dogs are dancing. Women loudly scold: if dogs don't eat, they will be 100 years old, making you a dog after death!
I was ten years old that year, and a cow of Qin family gave birth to a calf. This calf is silly, naughty and funny. We often avoid the eyes of the Qin family and chase around the village. But before long, the old cow broke her leg in the ditch. According to the previous rules, I understand that cows can't pull plows, so they should become a dish in the main population, and the day of killing cows will become a centenary sacrifice.
At first, the 100-year-old man blew his horn so hard that the cow with a broken leg fell to the ground, which attracted everyone's applause. This applause, when the centenarian laid hands on him again, was like an impromptu performance in my eyes: when I saw the cow tied to the ground, I kicked around with my eyes wide open. When the centenarian flew, I kicked the cow in the eye accurately with only two strokes, and then I freed my hand and poured a few mouthfuls of wine on my back. It suddenly occurred to me to find something to drink, so I pulled the cow's tongue out of my mouth, stretched out my hand and pulled the knife halfway, grabbed the bottle and fell down, grinning at the cow's tongue, scaring us to hide straight back.
After eating and drinking enough, the centenarian picked up the big wooden basin filled with cow blood and was about to enter the white knife. The red knife came out, but the butcher knife was gone. Looking around a hundred years old, someone pointed to his calf and said that he saw a knife in his calf. Hundred years old didn't believe it, but I never found the knife, so I went back and got a new one.
Kill the cow, skin it and untie the beef. It's already dark. According to the rules, centenarians will stew raw meat overnight, and the owner of the cow will pull the meat to collect money the next day. Standing in front of a cauldron for a hundred years, every time he added some firewood to the stove, he poured a mouthful of wine and reached for the meat in the cauldron, but he couldn't stop.
The next morning, the Qin family came to the stove and saw the meat in the pot "purring", but there was no sign of the centenarian, and no one promised to shout. Looking around, I found a human leg on the edge of the pot. The Qin family was frightened and thought that the centenarian's leg was stuck in the meat pot. What about centenarians? I pulled my foot hard and there was only half a leg left in my hand. A hundred years seems to have fallen into the pot and been boiled, so I shouted.
When I put my head into the crack, the villagers had surrounded the cooker and looked completely frightened.
Some people speculate that he must be drunk at the age of 100, stand up and turn over the meat in the pot and suddenly fall into the pot; Qin family said that I got up in the middle of the night and saw my calf still turning in the pot. Is it because the calf slammed into the pot from behind?
My grandparents all believe this statement.
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