Duan Yu jokes humorous original jokes.

1. Money is not a problem, but no money!

It is not necessarily a monk who burns incense, but also a panda. ...

3. I am drunk and won't accept anyone, just hold the wall!

I am like a fly lying on the glass, with a bright future, but I can't find a way out.

Who says I'm white, thin and beautiful ~ I'll be good friends with him ~

7. "What is an optimist?" "This ... is like a teapot, my ass is burning red, and I am in the mood to whistle!"

8. Effect of contraception: adult if you don't succeed?

10. A friend of mine is an intern in China Unicom. One day, an old man came up and said, "Can you get me a mobile card?" Then the friend said without looking up, "Master, someone is coming to smash the venue!" "

1 1. I must be reborn as a man in my next life and then marry a woman like me.

12. If eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smart, then I should at least eat a pair of whales. ...

13. I walked through the south ~ walked through the north ~ drank water behind the toilet, ran over my leg on the train track and kissed a fool.

14. I am not a casual person! But whatever, it is not a person!

15. Bathing is a blessing to the ass and a pain to the head; Watching movies is a blessing on the head and a pain on the ass, but listening to you is a pain on the head and a pain on the ass.

16. The brothers in the dormitory decided to punish their roommates as follows: let them hold telephone poles covered with advertisements of old Chinese medicine and cry with tears: My illness has finally been saved!

17. Signature of a male classmate: After watching the world AV, I naturally have no code in my heart.

19. How can a person float in the Jianghu without a knife?

2 1. Clear water means no fish, while lowly people mean invincible.

22. Don't treat animals that are still dead after bleeding for a week lightly. ...

26. Pregnancy is just like pregnancy. It takes a long time for people to see it.

28. Friends around you, become famous quickly, so that my memoirs can sell well.

Author: New Materialist Philosophy 2007-10-2301:31Reply to this speech.

-

2 reply: ★ Super joke, no regrets.

3 1. Confucius said; Fighting is with bricks. It is not advisable to use too much force. Don't be chaotic, your head is fierce. Buddha said; I am merciful, so I should cut it with a knife, cut it hard, and cut it on the head!

34. Geography teacher: What will our world be like if the earth doesn't turn?

35. Only women and English are sad, only wives and jobs are hard to find! !

36. Professor Yang Zhenning told us that beauty is very important, and we need it when we get old ~

37. Handsome is useless! Finally, I was eaten by a chess piece!

38. Colleagues may be nervous when they meet customers. As soon as they opened their mouths, they said, "Hello, Mr. Liu. May I know your name? " Sweat ~ ~ ~ ~

40. A college student's life goal: peasant woman, mountain spring and a little field.

4 1. A female classmate is a little black, and her bf is a little too white. One day, the poisonous queen in the dormitory suddenly said to her, "You can't do this, you'll have zebras ..."

46. Don't you have classes today?

B: Well, there is no class subjectively!

49. College students meet for the first time after work and choose the zoo. The common reason is that only here can they feel that they are still individuals. ...

7 1. Hold your hand and drag it to feed the dog.

72. My mother always treats handsome guys and money like dirt, and they always treat me like this.

74. Women should not read much, because in men's minds, junior college students are little dragon girls, undergraduates are Huang Rong, graduate students are Zhao Min, doctoral students are Li Mochou, and postdoctoral students are extinct teachers. It is even more terrible to continue studying-it is the legendary "Dong Fangbubai"!

Men should not read too much, because in women's minds: college students are Wei Xiaobao, undergraduates are Duan Yu, graduate students are Ding Dian, doctoral students are Chen Jialuo, postdoctoral students are Ouyang Feng, and both master students and doctoral students are studying-he is the terrible "Yue Buqun"!

75. Two journalists, a man and a woman, went to the countryside for an interview. The old farmer asked the female reporter: which unit are you from? Female reporter: from the newspaper; The old farmer asked the male reporter again: What about you? Male reporter: daily newspaper; Old farmer: Just say it's that couple!

76. The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. The patient said, I thought there was sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. A fucking asshole passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two!

77. The male and female toilets in the school are connected. A girl forgot to bring toilet paper to the toilet. When she was embarrassed, toilet paper came from the men's room next door. The girl turned pale and asked "Who" loudly. The boy next door replied, "Lei Feng."

79. Once I was driving, the female colleague sitting next to me suddenly asked, "Why don't you wear a condom when driving?"

80. When I went to Li Ning with my sister to buy shoes, my sister said, "Miss, how much are these shoes?"

Author: New Materialist Philosophy 2007-10-2301:31Reply to this speech.

-

3 reply: ★ Super joke, no regrets.

8 1. I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually streaked in Too Many Cooks for 20 years!

83. Don't read the information, watch the chat effect!

Only when there is a long queue of Zhang Long, can we truly realize that we are "descendants of the dragon".

When you put on the wedding dress of love, I also put on the monk's robe. ...

88. Marriage is like eating. You will definitely order what you like, but when the food is served, you can't help but look at other people's plates first. -What you can't get is the best.

89. I just found out that the way to attract a man is to make him not get it; The way to attract a woman is just the opposite, that is, to satisfy her.

90. When in conflict with others, take a step back and broaden your horizons; When chasing a girlfriend, take a step back and go to an empty building.

9 1. Eat less sweets, I have diabetes!

92. A man's face is his resume and a woman's face is her income statement.

96. Driving is not difficult, but there are new people!