"No matter what the relationship is, if you ask for a loan, never borrow it" What do you think?

Tell me a bloody lesson.

In July 2015, a fellow countryman wanted to buy a house, and he happened to have a lot of money, so he lent him 100,000 yuan. At that time, he claimed to pay it back at the end of the year with interest. I didn't take it too seriously at the time, saying just take it and use it.

At the end of that year, he told me that money was tight now and he couldn’t pay it off for the time being. I said it was fine, you can use it first.

At the end of 2016, I wanted to change my house. I needed this account on hand at that time, so I contacted him and hoped to pay it back within 2 months, because the seller was waiting. He replied saying yes, but two months later, he only paid back 20,000. At that time, the plan to buy a house almost aborted.

In March 2017, I told him that I hoped to pay off the debt that month and that it was urgent. He told me that the business was in trouble and he couldn't take out that much for the time being, so he could only pay back another 10,000 yuan. Afterwards I called many times but never came back.

In May 2017, I heard from my friend who was gay that he had moved. I quickly contacted him and said that I hoped to collect the remaining money in June. He excused himself by saying that he was currently in a tight situation and could only repay 10,000 yuan. Otherwise, he would have to sell his car and house. I told him that I had no choice, because when I changed my house, I also borrowed a loan, and I agreed to pay it back in June this year, and I didn't want anyone to press me. As a result, I didn’t reply for more than half a year.

In January 2018, I contacted him again, but he never responded. No matter whether it is phone call, text message, WeChat or QQ, I can't contact you. I'm a little anxious, worried that I won't be able to avoid the account? I quickly left him a message and sent him the experience of knowing each other for more than ten years, his commitment when buying a house and borrowing money, and his feelings about having to pay bills over the years, etc. I said that it is not easy for adults to make friends, and I don’t want to end up with him. It wouldn't look good if it caused an unpleasant commotion and had to go to court. He later replied that he was raising money and would wait another week. As a result, one week passed and there was no news. Two weeks passed and there was still no news. Finally, I called his wife directly (I asked other friends to get it) and told him that I had to change my house in 2016 and was short of money, so I had to collect the foreign debt now. It has been delayed for so long and there is still no follow-up, which makes my friend very hurt. How about you think of another way and see if you can get it together within 2 months? His wife was a straightforward person and said, give us a month and we will find a solution. Come March and May, he transferred the remaining balance to me (without interest). Then WeChat, phone, and QQ all blocked me.

The debt I borrowed in 15 years was only recovered in 18 years, with no interest, and in the end I became a stranger. This is what I ultimately get from lending to others.

Since then, I have made a rule: no one else will borrow money except my parents, brothers and sisters. No matter how good a friend is, a few thousand is enough, but nothing else. I don’t want to go back, that feeling of urging people to pay off their debts, it’s really hard!

Confucius said: "A gentleman is the mean; a villain is against the mean." The same is true for borrowing money. It is easy for a villain to rebel against the mean, and the mean is a gentleman. How to handle the matter of borrowing money well so that we can achieve "gentleman's moderation"?

Everyone thinks he is a gentleman, so who is the villain? Those who are against moderation. Let’s first look at the anti-moderate scenario.

1. Due to selfish reasons and good looks, they will borrow any money, and some even borrow money until they borrow it again, which has reached an extreme that is almost pathological. History and experience have found that it is the grandson who borrows money and the uncle who owes money. The implication is that most of the money lent will never be returned. The result is that, unknowingly, all of his money has been borrowed, which affects not only his mood but the survival of the entire family. This kind of person is obviously anti-moderate, and ends badly. In the end, he gets into unpleasant troubles and even fights and lawsuits. He seems generous at the beginning, but ends up being very close to a villain. Selfishness is a villain.

2. Learn from history and never borrow any money. It seems to protect yourself and avoid future troubles, but you ignore what money is. Money is an important bridge for communication between people. A gives money to B , B gives something to A. This product may be a commodity, or it may be friendship or fate. Not borrowing any money is equivalent to breaking some important friendships or connections.

People in this world depend on each other, and no one can be happy on his own.

So money that can bring benefits must still be borrowed. How to judge what kind of money can bring benefits when borrowed?

1. Compared with the total wealth, the amount of borrowed money is not large. It does not matter if you lend it generously. Even if this kind of money is not repaid, the loss will not be big. However, if you encounter multiple small loans, you will be Rejecting something because it has not been paid before is reasonable and reasonable, and no one will blame it. This is one of the golden mean, and it is a little public heart, and a public heart is a gentleman.

2. Provide help in times of need. If the other party is in trouble, ask for help. If you are capable, you might as well do some charity, especially for poor scholar children. This kind of money can be counted in a lifetime of memories. This kind of kindness brings Gratitude is often huge, and future rewards are often unpredictable. There are many historical plots of this kind. I will not give an example. This is the second part of the golden mean, which is the public heart. The public heart is a gentleman.

3. Generous donation, which has gone beyond borrowing and is essentially borrowing. It is different from providing help in times of need. No one borrows it, but it is given proactively. For example, the Wenchuan earthquake took the initiative to relieve the victims, and another example is donating money to the Sixth National People's Congress. Zu Huineng supported his mother and allowed the Sixth Patriarch to pursue the Tao with peace of mind. These are typical generosity, which is a great loan without asking for anything in return. This is the third of the golden mean, which is a great public heart, and a public heart is a gentleman.

After brainstorming, you will also think of other moderate scenarios. Here are the above three examples.

"A gentleman is of the mean; a villain is against the mean." Sage Kong's words, after careful analysis, are very reasonable when it comes to borrowing money. I hope that everyone will be virtuous and do good, and become a A public-spirited gentleman.

Introduction: "No matter what the relationship is, if you ask for money, never borrow it." When I heard this suddenly, I felt a little unkind and biased; but I think: this sentence is a painful lesson summed up by countless kind people in today's society with blood and tears. They say this because they want to alert the majority of the kind-hearted people in society who are kind-hearted, generous, and helpful, but have no intention of guarding against "old people"!

In this commodity economy society, traditional ideas and morals are gradually scorned by some people. They dream of getting rich overnight and living a luxurious and luxurious high-end life. However, they are unwilling to work hard and earn money. As a result, they lived a life of borrowing money to spend. As time went by, he became unwilling to pay back the money, started acting rogue, and refused to pay back the money.

In this way, the word "Laolai" appeared in Chinese.

These old guys cheated their relatives and friends; they borrowed money from acquaintances and strangers. As long as they have a casual acquaintance, they will not let go. Jujube or no jujube, it is worth every penny they can deceive.

If there are more bad guys, the number of good people who will be deceived will definitely increase. Over time, everyone has formed a common understanding: borrowing money is risky! Be careful when borrowing money!

Lao Lai is rampant in today's society, and people who have been deceived have no choice but to sum up a wise saying: "If you don't lend him money, your friends will be gone; if you lend him money, you will have no friends." And the money is gone”!

Let’s talk about an old guy I met:

This is a real example!

I have a high school classmate who is in the tobacco and alcohol wholesale business. His hometown is XX Township, XX County, Henan Province. He now lives in XX Grand Mansion in Nanyang City, named XXX. This person has been my friend for twenty years.

In the spring of 2016, he approached his classmates and told them that his old mother had undergone major surgery in Zhengzhou Hospital and needed several stents for her heart, which had to be imported. The cost came to hundreds of thousands.

He said that he would borrow everyone's money first, and when he got a sum of money in the fall, he would pay everyone back immediately without default.

When old classmates are in trouble, of course everyone should help. So, you take 50,000 yuan and I contribute 60,000 yuan, and we quickly put together the money for him.

More than a year has passed, and he has not paid back the money and stopped contacting everyone. When I called, I found out that he had blocked everyone's phone numbers.

Later, after everyone inquired about it, they found out that he had hooked up with a woman outside and had spent all his business capital and the money lent to him by that woman.

What’s even more annoying is: when his mother was hospitalized for surgery, he didn’t pay a penny. All the medical expenses were shared by his brother and sister.

In anger, everyone asked him for payment. He was hiding.

Some classmates did not lend him money at that time, so they were still able to contact him. When these classmates persuaded him to pay back the money, he scratched his neck and said angrily: "I don't believe it. They can't live without this little money!"

Later, he also said : "I didn't spend this money, it was all spent by that woman. If you want it, just ask her. This matter has nothing to do with me."

Everyone was so angry that they had no choice but to He didn't want his wife to find out and divorce him. After all, a classmate wouldn't want his wife to be separated.

Everyone laughed bitterly and had no choice but to swallow their breath. It was considered that they had spent money and recognized this old man. Everyone expressed their opinions one after another: From now on, no matter how close friends are, they will never lend money!

Conclusion: Throughout the ages, all popular words in society have been summarized and refined by ordinary people through personal experience, even blood and tears.

Therefore, as far as this topic is concerned, friends who have never suffered a loss or been deceived must be vigilant. Never stand and speak without pain, speak in a relaxed tone, stand on the moral high ground, and be condescending. Say something like chicken soup for the soul.

Of course, if relatives and friends are in trouble, as long as the situation is real and they need help, then they should still help! We cannot deny our relatives and stop borrowing a penny just because there are some old people in society who refuse to repay borrowed money. In that case, the virtues of "giving help in times of need" and "helping others" in traditional culture may be lost forever in the long river of history!

I don't agree with this statement. There are always inextricable connections between people, and they always live in family and friendship. Mutual help, support and care are the eternal truths.

Everyone's life will never be smooth sailing. They will always encounter difficulties more or less. When they encounter difficulties, they need help. I, the best emperor in the world, always ask for help, let alone us ordinary people. If your parents, wife, children, blood brothers and close friends need to borrow money for emergency relief, can you bear to let it go?

So you can’t go to extremes in anything, and you can’t say that drinking will kill you, so don’t drink. , we cannot say that we should stop driving if a car is going to hit someone and kill someone. When it comes to borrowing money, we must treat it differently, do not hesitate to act decisively on people and things that must be helped and supported, and categorically reject those who cannot be trusted or are unreliable.

Let me tell you through hard experience not to borrow money under ordinary circumstances:

In 2017, a buddy borrowed 30,000 from me and promised to pay me back in 3 months. At that time, I was looking at houses and preparing to buy a house. He said that it would not delay your money for buying a house, so I gave him 30,000 yuan. But after it expired, it was not returned to me as promised.

I didn’t rush him in time for the Chinese New Year. I thought I would ask him for it when I needed the money to buy a house. In March 2018, when I was about to pay the down payment, I asked him for the money. He told me that he had it in his hand now. I had no money to pay the rent and spent a lot of money during the New Year.

I had no choice but to borrow tens of thousands from a friend to pay the down payment, and I would pay back the debt as soon as my salary was paid in the next two months. After my salary was paid in the second month, I cashed out another 20,000 on my credit card and paid off my friend’s tens of thousands.

The person who lent me 30,000 yuan has never mentioned the money, and I have never urged him. Mainly because I trust him too much. In 2019, I mentioned it once when I wanted to use the money, and he said I have no money. From June 2019 to December 2020, every time I asked him for money, his reason was that I had to pay the rent, my dad needed money for hospitalization, I paid off the credit card, etc. This was the case every time.

Today will be postponed to tomorrow, tomorrow will be postponed to the day after tomorrow, this week will be postponed to next week, this month will be postponed to next month, and the salary will be paid, and finally the year-end bonus will be paid at the end of 2020. In October and November, he blocked me twice, playing the brotherhood card, saying that I pushed him repeatedly regardless of brotherhood. If he had cared about brothers, he would have repaid me long ago, and he was still making excuses for himself. In the end, he actually asked whether he should give up his brothers for tens of thousands of dollars.

The WeChat circle of friends spends the whole day traveling, doing business, eating, and showing off watches. That watch won't go down even if it's 20,000 yuan. I have this money but I don’t want to pay it back to you.

I watched the news a few days ago about the man in Jiangsu who knelt down to demand debts. Who would do this if he wasn't forced into a hurry? Borrowing money is not about kinship or distance, it is about character!

The original meaning of this sentence is correct, it depends on each person’s experience and positioning. People are tested with money, jade is tested with fire. It takes seven days to test a jade, and ten years to know a person. Some people use whether they can borrow money from each other as a touchstone to measure the depth of friendship. They are totally wrong.

It is really helpless to refuse them all. There are various reasons for borrowing money, but there is one commonality: the borrower is a relative or friend.

When a friend borrows money, it may be because his business needs capital turnover, and the amount is large. You are unwilling and courageous. Either it's a small thing, or else, if you lend it out, you'll be heartbroken if you don't return it, and it's not worth it if you take it.

The second type is borrowing money from relatives. I have many relatives, so if I need to borrow money from him, I will definitely use this one. Otherwise, they will say that you are unfair and that your relatives are divided into distant relatives. As long as you have a beginning, there is no way to end it. There are so many relatives, how much money do you have to lend? It’s a problem for everyone, and there are complaints everywhere. Are you going to ask for it? It is difficult for elders to speak, and it is difficult for juniors to speak.

Borrowing money from neighbors is a waste of money. I can repay you ten years later, but ten yuan can only be spent as one yuan at this time. Prices have increased tenfold, and the repayment is like waste paper.

The situation of borrowing money between brothers is diverse. For example, if a younger brother is getting married, it is normal for him to borrow money from his older brother. If your family doesn't agree, you can't borrow it. Even if you borrow the money and your younger brother gets married, what should you do if your younger brother and sister don't agree when you repay the money?

The general tendency is that not borrowing is the best policy. Practice has proved that whether you borrow or not, the ending is the same, both ending on bad terms. Spend money to buy suffering.

What we are talking about is sex, not individual cases. Since it is a fair proposition, there is no need to give any examples. Otherwise it loses its meaning.

One thing I would like to explain: if you want to lend money to others, you must first be mentally prepared for sponsorship.

You might as well learn from Mr. Ma Weidu’s method: It’s not about not borrowing, nor about borrowing everything. Act according to your ability, lend to others symbolically, lend thousands to thousands, do not hurt your kindness, return nature, do not return leisurely, and be calm.

I have learned many lessons on this issue, which are very profound and cannot be borrowed. It's a trivial matter that you can't get back the money you lent. What's important is that your good friends have turned into strangers, and some have even disappeared.

In life, borrowing money has always been a hotly discussed topic, because we don’t know whether the money is worth borrowing or what will happen after it is borrowed. Many people have just eaten it. For this kind of loss, borrowing money must be divided among people. Not everyone is worthy of borrowing money from us. It is normal to borrow some money between friends, but this must be based on something. So below I will share with you, when others borrow money from you At this time, these three types of people must not borrow money, otherwise they will lose both their money and their lives.

1. Good food and lazy work

There are many people in life who are good eaters and lazy people. They just think about me doing easy things and earning high wages all day long. Some of them choose this when they are still very young. Those who are gnawing at old age and unwilling to work hard are willing to degenerate. We must not borrow money from such people. We should refuse directly and don’t hurt our face, because when such people borrow money from you, they will almost never pay it back. Even if they can, they will still have to borrow money. It will take a long time. This kind of person is depressed. It is difficult to make money. His thoughts are relatively scattered. He cannot support himself. How can he pay you back? For this kind of person, we can only keep a distance. Remember Don't lend money out of favor, especially to relatives.

2. People who don’t know the basics

To borrow money, you must only borrow money from one person, only yourself. In our lives and workplaces, there are always some people who know a little bit about them and just lend them money. If you go out and have little contact later, or are not in the same city, it is really difficult for you to get your money back. You must accept the consequences, unless you bet on your luck, and for those of us who know the basics, we lend money to these people. This kind of person has confidence in his heart. At least he knows that he can pay back, and he lends to him because he recognizes him. Many people who borrow money just don't know how to suffer losses in this regard.

3. People who are not trustworthy

Credit is very important in today's society. If a person has no credit, he can't do anything, especially now in the Internet era, for There are very big restrictions on people who are untrustworthy, so we must not lend money to people who are untrustworthy. No matter what they say to us, many people will make a mistake and always borrow money. It is easier for others to agree to others if they say a few more words or make promises. You know, this kind of people often say well. You have the final say when borrowing money, and they have the final say after borrowing money. The final result is, The person who borrows money becomes a grandson, and the person who repays money becomes an uncle. This makes you very passive. Don't pay too much attention to face when borrowing money. Face will only make you suffer and will not do you any good. You must refuse when you should refuse. Don't hesitate, we must choose to directly reject such dishonest people, otherwise you will only suffer the loss.

"No matter what the relationship is, as long as you ask for money, never lend it." When it comes to lending money to others, I also have some of my own opinions and ideas. Others ask you to borrow money because they are encountering difficulties, and when you lend money to others, you are afraid that you will not be able to repay it, so sometimes you need to weigh who you want to lend money to.

1. Reliable people

It is necessary to lend money to reliable people to avoid lending the money yourself and losing your good reputation. Instead, you will be said to be unreasonable. If you don't know what's going on before you ask to borrow money, it's better not to lend it easily. If you don't know what's going on, you probably won't ask for it. Most of them are people who don't intend to repay the money, or people who have the mentality of borrowing if they can. When asking to borrow money from someone with whom you have a good relationship, I think you should usually understand his character. If his character is good, you can consider lending. You should be confident in lending to such a person. But a person with bad character will make trouble for himself after helping him. Many people suffer a lot because they don't know how to distinguish.

2. Act within your ability

When borrowing money, you really need to act within your ability and not affect your own life. I have a colleague who, out of dignity, will lend money to friends whenever they ask. He cannot get rid of the thought that "if a friend asks to borrow money but does not lend it to him, it will affect the relationship between them." As a result, you always borrow money without repaying it, and your life is very tight. Remember, don't lend money out of favor. Not only will you suffer a loss, but others will also laugh at you for being "stupid".

3. People who borrow money to be cool and unrestrained

Lend money to this type of person and lend it to others to spend lavishly. Moreover, this kind of person has no ability to control desires, and it is not that he does not want to pay back the money. , but his ability can never keep up with consumption, and even if he still makes money, he still needs to make up for it. Over time, this survival rule of relying on others' relief has become a moth in his mind, and will make him a person who is unwilling to make progress and is left with nothing.

4. Amount of borrowed money

If it is a small amount, just borrow it. If the amount is particularly large, consider it carefully.

If it is borrowed to satisfy her shopping desire, the money may or may not be borrowed. If it is borrowed to treat a disease, generally the money can be borrowed. Remember:

It is said that "rescuing people in need does not help the poor", you must remember this truth. When relatives and friends encounter difficulties, you can help appropriately, but you should not borrow money from others, or try not to lend money to others, because the reality is cruel, and money can often destroy rare relationships. Finally, I would like to remind everyone that when borrowing money, you must write an IOU. No matter how good the relationship between the other party and you is, it must still be kept as evidence for future repayment.

Hello, I am Wu Lingyao, let me answer.

It's true.

A college classmate of mine who I have known for more than 10 years called me because he was in debt and unemployed. I gave him 1,000 at first, and later helped him cash out 3,000 on his credit card.

Later, I discovered that this person had almost no sense of risk management. He owed half of his debts in a joint venture with others to buy a house in Thailand, and the other half to go to Hong Kong to study for graduate school.

Before leaving, he felt very good about himself. He thought that since he could earn 30,000 yuan a month before graduation, he would earn more than 40,000 yuan a month after graduation.

As a result, in the year of graduation, due to the Sino-US trade friction and the economic downturn in Hong Kong, he had to return to Shanghai. Later, because he was not compatible with the corporate culture, he did not pass the probation period, so he borrowed money everywhere.

But even so, he still believes that it is not his own problem, but the problem of the general environment. As long as someone can lend him money, he can make a turnaround.

People with this kind of gambler's mentality must be extremely impulsive when making decisions, and they can do anything for the sake of profit. Anyone who befriends him will be dragged down by him.

So I blocked him.

In addition, after you lend the money, you will inevitably think about it in your heart. When you talk to the other party, you will think of it from time to time. Because the other person is not ready for you and is under great pressure, he subconsciously avoids you. As a result, the two of you can't even be friends.

Therefore, when it comes to borrowing money, with the mentality that one thing is worse than one thing less, you'd better look at the relationship between the two and give him a sum of money that you think doesn't matter if the other party doesn't pay back.

That's it.