Does anyone have the lines for Song Xiaobao's sketch "I'm Rich" to share? Thank you

Old Hao: Stop making noise. Let me tell you the good news. The government expropriated some land from our family and gave us 60,000 yuan. Ha ha.

Hao’s wife: You still mentioned the 60,000 yuan. Logically speaking, you should be happy. You said this is a shame. You said your heart is so aggrieved. It’s not enough.

Old Hao: Who should we share it with?

Hao’s Wife: Who will you share with? You didn’t agree to go out. How about borrowing the shares? That person will come to withdraw the money tomorrow. What’s going on?

Old Hao: How much should I lend? Where did it go? I'll tell you whether it's left.

Hao’s wife: Forget it. Your niece, you promise ten thousand. If Li Wuzi buys that four-wheeler, you promise ten thousand. If the second uncle’s family builds a house, you agree to pay 10,000 yuan.

Old Hao: Thirty thousand left.

Hao’s wife: The village chief’s child has been admitted to college, and you promised to borrow 10,000. You build a bridge, my brother-in-law, they build a bridge, you agree to lend 30,000 yuan.

Old Hao: You are causing famine.

Hao’s wife: Isn’t it all you? You have a big mouth and promise to others. Why did you promise so much? Don’t we know what we are like?

Old Hao: Then tell your brother-in-law. The whole bridge will be built again next year, that thing. It still has to be repaired this year.

Hao’s wife: Do you understand, you are thinking about building a bridge in front of your home, you can build it today or tomorrow, it’s a bridge for your heart. That's life-saving money, why don't you give it to others? Besides, all the folks in this hometown are in a good place. As my relatives say, if you don’t give it to anyone, who will be willing to take it? It’s not easy for us to get rich all of a sudden.

Old Hao: You said that because of this small amount of money, the door was locked and we didn’t dare to leave the house. You said this guy borrowed it, how should we deal with it?

Hao’s wife: How about fixing it? You promised so much, so what are you going to do about it? You want to recruit me.

(The thief is here.

)

Old Hao: What the hell?

Hao’s wife: Who is it, the one who borrowed the money?

Old Hao: I don’t know, why does it click all of a sudden?

(Old Hao and Hao’s wife were hiding under the table, and the thief broke the window.

)

Hao’s wife: Come in quickly.

Old Hao: A thief is coming.

Hao’s wife: How about fixing it?

Old Hao: Hurry up.

Hao’s wife: Call the police, call the police.

Old Hao: Don’t call the police.

(Throw the hammer in.

)

Old Hao: Let me tell you, let him come in, we will come in and let him steal, and then call the police after stealing , the police station is here to solve the case, let’s just let the thief steal it, and no one can borrow it, okay?

Hao’s wife: Is that possible?

Old Hao: Let him steal it.

(The thief enters the house.

)

Thief: Where is the hammer? Before you steal it, throw one away first. Oh my god, this family is too difficult, there is nothing. No, I have to find another one.

Old Hao: Don’t leave, there is a watch in the second drawer.

Thief: Who, who? Is there anyone? No, it's an illusion. There's a watch in the second drawer. If there really is a watch, there's someone there. One, two,

Then this is one, this is two, there really is a watch. Oh my god! Who? Ma slipped out, who? Who is it? Come out here! Let me tell you, I can bring anything with me. I don’t want to hurt anyone. It’s not good for anyone. Come out, come out!

(Old Hao picked up a hammer and knocked on the table, and the thief was frightened.

)

Old Hao: Shh.

. One's own people, peers.

Thief: My companion, oh my mother, this scares me. I wonder if someone is waiting for me here.

Old Hao: I thought

someone was back home.

Thief: Oh my god, you scared me to death.

Old Hao: Don’t be afraid, I’m sorry.

Thief: This is my first time in this business. I understand the rules. If you step on it first, you can take it first.

Old Hao: No, this is your first time stealing, right? If the thief doesn't run away, it will definitely not be good for your "career" if you leave.

Thief: No, sir.

Old Hao: Here you go.

Thief: It’s really interesting. What about bringing my wife out to steal it?

Old Hao: Sorry.

Thief: You are so old, if someone comes here, if you jump out of the window, your wife will easily hang on the window.

Old Hao: This is the last time.

Thief: Let’s work together for the last time. Okay, I'm young, I'll do the physical work, I'll break open the cabinet for him.

Old Hao: Hey, hey, hey.

. What are you doing? When you steal, don't destroy it. Don't steal things. Don't smash the cabinets.

Hao’s Wife: Even so, you can’t take the cabinet away. How can it be used after you smash it?

Thief: It’s not elegant to steal, isn’t it? Oh, let me go, oh, you are indeed an old-timer, hahaha.

. It's okay, I'm prepared. Here's my electric drill. I'll use this to drill it open.

Old Hao: Don't worry, you are always destructive. Just open the cabinet and it's over. Why do you keep getting into the cabinet?

Hao's wife: You If it's broken, we won't be able to use it, you kid.

Thief: What’s the matter, you’re still stealing it?

Hao’s wife: Tell the truth. What, thief, this is our home.

Thief

:

Don't make trouble.

Old Hao: No trouble, really. As you can see in the photos, don’t hurt anyone.

Hao’s wife: Yes.

Thief: Sir, I’m sorry. I was wrong, it was my first time doing this, and I swore I would never do it again. Give these, these socks

to my aunt. It looks so sexy when you wear it, it will definitely conquer you, just let me withdraw.

Old Hao: Goodbye, comrade thief. I've been waiting for you for a long time, and you're finally here. You can't leave for nothing, you have to steal something.

Thief: No.

Hao’s wife: What, my wife is right, it’s a little bit of stealing, that’s cool.

Thief: No, me.

Old Hao: It’s okay, we won’t hurt you, just steal it.

Hao’s wife: When you look at us like this, you don’t look like you’re going to hit someone.

Old Hao: Let’s not hurt anyone, right?

Thief: Why am I confused?

Old Hao: See what’s good, just choose a few.

Hao’s wife: If you don’t steal again, I’ll call the police. Come on!

Thief: No, I, no, I steal. This is mine, I steal it.

Old Hao: Steal it.

Hao’s wife: Steal it, kid.

(The thief took the mobile phone and suddenly received a call. The thief was so frightened that he threw the mobile phone away.

)

Thief: There is a call.

Old Hao: You can't answer the phone. What are you doing because you broke it?

Hao’s wife: What did you do to us? You’re blind.

Old Hao: This counts as the same, give it to him. You got it, didn't you? Come on, come on, come on. Go on, steal whatever you want.

Thief: Are you still stealing?

Old Hao: Steal it! Hurry up. You can't leave without stealing.

Hao’s wife: Steal it.

Thief: Uncle, I, I.

(The thief went to get the teacup.

)

Old Hao: What are you doing with the broken cup!

(The thief kneels down.

)

Thief: Sir, I beg you. I have never stolen like this before.

(Old Hao also knelt down.

)

Old Hao: I’m begging you, too. You’ve already come, so just steal some.

Thief: Uncle, my inner quality is not good!

Old Hao: I have a good psychological quality, so just go ahead and steal it, okay?

Thief: Uncle, don’t irritate me like this, I can’t stand it!

Old Hao: Uncle, that’s all we have.

Hao’s wife:

Hey,

Get up,

What do you call him uncle? As for you, the thief, I don’t understand.

Why are you so stupid? You are the only thief.

You are seriously unqualified. If you are asked to steal, just steal.

Old Hao: Yes, why do you always complain about him? He looks at us here, can he steal? Go help him steal it, quickly.

Hao’s wife: You still don’t believe me when I say he is unqualified.

Old Hao: Hurry up and stop talking nonsense.

Hao’s wife: I’ll steal it for him.

Old Hao: Hurry up, don’t you know what we are doing?

Hao’s wife: Yes.

Old Hao: Take everything out of the cabinet. Come on, Comrade Thief, come on.

Thief: No, sir, I, I, oops.

(Hao’s wife threw a pile of clothes into the thief’s arms.

)

Old Hao: What are you doing? You have no sincerity at all. ? What are you doing with this junk thing for other people? Can this person be wanted?

Hao’s wife: What do you want?

Old Hao: I bought you a new set of clothes. Where did you put them?

Hao’s wife: I haven’t worn it yet.

(Low voice)

Old Hao: What are you wearing? Let him wear it.

Hao’s wife: Can he put it on? He is male.

Old Hao: Get your mother dressed, hurry up! It costs more than 2,000 yuan, but you feel sorry for me, so what are you doing? quick! Don't worry, it's true.

Thief: No, what are you doing? Uncle, thanks to me, this is considered a technical job. Can you let me steal some dignity?

Old Hao: I’ll give you some dignity. If you don’t steal, what will happen if we don’t help you steal? It’s okay this time, that’s all. Please leave quickly, okay?

Thief: I can’t have this.

Old Hao: What are you planning to do? This is more than two thousand. Let’s see what else is valuable. It’s valuable, and people want to use it quickly. You,

Just don’t worry. As for our family, let me tell you the truth. From the time we were senior to today, we have never harmed anyone. You can rest assured if you leave it here. You can take your things away and rest assured. My uncle and aunt will never report you, do you know that?

(Hao’s wife held the box containing the money and handed it to the thief.

)

Hao’s wife: Give it to you.

Old Hao: What are you doing? What are you doing!

Hao’s wife: You didn’t tell me.

Thief: Sir, it’s okay, I don’t mind.

Old Hao: Don’t worry, you can’t do it here. This is just a broken shoe box. Why did you steal it? It's useless.

Hao’s wife: This, what’s pretending here is not that.

Old Hao: You can’t survive. You Biao! You are stupid! Why are you still talking like this! Take it back!

Hao’s wife: No, this thing needs to be taken away.

Old Hao: Why are you so insincere towards other thieves?

Thief: Uncle.

Old Hao: Take it!

Hao’s wife: If we take him away, won’t we be able to meditate?

Old Hao: Ignore him! steal! Okay, come on, let me put this on for you.

Thief: Master, please don’t.

Old Hao: You are like this, kid, you, you go out and walk around, no one cares about you, when you are done and you get home, you call me back,

You Just say you're safe,

I'll do it when you're done,

Okay? Don't mess with that rag,

Don't fool people,

Just this.

Take that watch,

Let’s go.

Thief: Master, this is enough punishment, right?

Old Hao:

Why don’t you understand?

Don’t worry,

Do you think we two are bad people? We are all from the countryside.

I see that you are also from the countryside.

Have you encountered difficulties soon? What do you really mean,

Let the police arrest you,

We will give you a certificate,

We just meant to give it to you,

Do you think it’s okay?

Thief: Can I believe it?

Old Hao: I believe it, what about you?

Hao’s wife: Letter.

Old Hao: Look, we both believe it.

Thief: Can the police believe it?

Old Hao: What are you trying to do to the police? Do you want to take it or not?

Thief: I, uncle, I, don’t irritate me.

Old Hao: Look at your face, it looks like a thief’s face. It really doesn’t suit you.

Thief: Master, don’t, don’t irritate me.

Hao’s wife: No, you were scared by him.

Old Hao: What are you so scared of?

Hao’s wife: No, child. Listen to what I'm telling you. Once the police catch you, we'll just give it to you as a gift. Don't worry.

Old Hao: Are you a thief?

Hao’s wife: You say you are a thief, let’s tell the truth.

Old Hao: It’s a grind.

Thief: Don’t be an old thief. What are you doing! I am a thief! Not stealing.

Old Hao: What kind of thief?

Hao’s wife: Which path?

Thief: The thief who steals.

Hao’s wife: Isn’t that still stealing?

Thief: Stealing and stealing are two concepts. Stealing seems vulgar. Stealing is more elegant. Have you ever heard of the Gangster Thief? Have you ever heard of the Gangster Thief?

Old Hao: It’s okay, don’t complain. We are rural people and uneducated.

Thief: Uncultured! Read a book! I can't sleep in the middle of the night reading a book, here it is!

(Old Hao took the book.

)

Old Hao: Tomb Robbery III.

Thief: I have finished watching the first two parts.

Old Hao: You are in the wrong place. You are working underground. Why did you come above ground?

Thief: Master, you don’t understand this. To tell you the truth, I have been hovering around your house for half a year. I used a compass and found out that it is in your house, right here. This is east longitude, this is north latitude,

3.1415926

Celsius. Just below

there is a tomb.

Hao’s wife: Huh?

Old Hao: Is there a tomb here?

Thief: Tomb of Qin Shihuang.

Hao’s wife: Who is Qin Shihuang?

Old Hao: Doesn’t it come from Xi’an? Doesn’t Qin Shihuang come from Xi’an?

Thief: He moved the grave.

Old Hao: Who moved it?

Thief: He moved it himself.

Hao’s wife: Hey, the house our family lives in is a tomb.

Thief: You don’t know yet? Don't tell anyone else.

Old Hao: So what do you do, archaeologist?

Thief: Hey, I don’t believe it. I have the certificate, look!

Hao’s wife: You, don’t scare us. Old man, take a good look.

Old Hao: Oh, my God.

Hao’s wife: What is he doing?

Old Hao: Song Xiaobao, a patient in Shenyang No. 2 Mental Hospital.

Thief: Here! Hahaha.

(Crazy action) Dean! I made a major discovery. I found terracotta warriors and horses in the Egyptian pyramids and mummies in the Mawangdui. Dean, come here. There is a tomb here now, the tomb of Sun Wukong. Don't worry, I'll steal the golden hoop for you, hahaha.

. Come on, hurry up! Hand me the hammer, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Old Hao: What are you doing?

Hao’s wife: I don’t know.

Thief: Oh my God, don’t make any noise, take it out, Golden Cudgel (Go, Hey, Dang!

) sings: I just caught a few monsters, and I caught them again Got a few demons.

Fairy!

Hao’s wife: Someone’s coming!

Thief: Goblin!

Hao’s wife: Old man!

Thief: Goblin!

Hao’s wife: Old man, old man! Old man, old man.

Old Hao: Wukong.

Thief: Master.

Old Hao: Please don't get angry and don't hurt women from good families. They are all good people. Recite the mantra: If you want to hurt them, all your strength will be gone

.

(The thief covered his head and fell to the ground.

)

Old Hao: Oh, my God, how can I fix it?

Hao’s wife: Hurry up.

Old Hao: Make a call.

(Admission on a stretcher.

)

A: Sir, I’m so sorry. We are from a mental hospital. This kid sneaked out. Let’s get him. Coming.

B: Not up yet.

Thief: Chat.

(Carry it away.

.

Hao’s wife is sad)

Old Hao: What are you looking at? Let's go.

Hao’s Wife: No matter where you go, I blame you. I told him not to let him steal. If you don’t let him steal, you have to let him steal and play with that little psycho for half the night.

Old Hao: Oh my God! It would be great if we could live with him. If we go to a mental hospital quickly, we're done.