A complete set of jokes and sentences can kill the whole class.

Man: "Why do you always look at me evasively?" Do you like me? "

Woman: "Sorry, I can't bear to look straight."

Cold joke+04-09-1411:55

Dialogue between broccoli and cauliflower

Broccoli meets cauliflower and asks, Brother, why does your hair turn white after a few years?

Cauliflower sighed and said, well, it's all because of you. You see, you are cuckolded all day, and you are not afraid of jokes. I am almost ashamed of you!

Campus jokes 2014-09-1410: 04

You don't want to graduate, do you?

The class teacher lost his temper when the whole class's homework was delayed. "Why can't you study as actively as eating?"

The deskmate said in a humble voice at the bottom, "Try eating nine meals a day!" " "

Fool joke 20 14-09- 14 09:04

How to pretend to be forced in front of classmates

How to pretend to be forced in front of classmates? If your parents or relatives have a car, drive in front of your classmates and pretend to tell Ta that you can't open the door. Then Ta will get off and help you open the door. When you open the door, say thank you loudly, housekeeper. Please pick me up after school. I tried: I told my uncle that I couldn't open the door and my uncle kicked me off the tractor!

Campus joke 20 14-09- 14 08:50

You get out of here.

Teacher: Xiaoming, why didn't you come to class these days?

Xiaoming: I went to the hospital to see my legs.

Teacher: What happened to your leg?

Xiaoming: What is there to see in my leg? I went to see the nurse's leg.

Teacher: Get out! ! !

Fool joke 20 14-09- 14 07:49

I have your wife.

Just received a phone call, and a low voice at the other end of the phone said, "I have your wife."

I was shocked: "Who are you? ! Why are your hands so big? ! "

Modern jokes

I have a small wish.

I will study in Lan Xiang for two years, then in New Oriental for two years, and then in Beida Jade Bird for two years. When you come back, you can use the computer to control the excavator to cook.

Business joke 20 14-09- 14 05:25

Please, I'm a Martian.

I went to the barber's for a haircut, and the hairdresser in the shop always advised me to get a membership card.

I said tactfully, "I'm just passing by, not a local, so I can't use my card."

The stylist said, "Don't worry, where are you from?" We will go to your place to open a branch next week. "

Family joke 2014-09-14 04: 21

You really are my real mother.

I said to my mother, "I'm tired of eating at home every day." Why don't we go out for dinner today? "

Mom thought about it and nodded her head. Then he gave me a bowl of rice and let me eat it alone in the yard outside.

Modern jokes 2014-09-14 03:15

Tomoji, you said that to a foodie.

One day, my girlfriend was in a hurry and jumped out with a sentence: "Yuanyang pot clear soup."

I asked her, "What do you mean?"

She said, "It's spicy next door!"

Family joke 20 14-09- 14 02:00

Come here. I promise I won't kill you.

I educated my son: "If you don't study hard now, you won't make any money in the future. Selling kidneys can only buy an Apple phone. "

The son said, "Since selling kidneys can solve the problem, why should I study hard?"

Modern jokes 2014-09-1401:25

Because green tea cheap has long been out of fashion, now apple cheap is popular.

Apple released so many products at once. I said to a lesbian early this morning, "This time Apple released many products, except mobile phones and watches, you must buy them."

She said, "Why?"

I said, "Because green tea bitches have long been out of fashion, apple bitches are popular now!" " "

Fool's joke 20 14-09- 14 00:20

Life is gloomy from then on.

I really want to fart at the company today. I think if I drop the folder on the floor at the same time, I can drown out the sound. So I crashed the folder and everyone looked at me. Then I farted loudly, and then I saw my colleagues in the front row put down their headphones and said, "Holy shit, who farted just now?" I listened with headphones on. "

Modern joke 20 14-09- 13 23:40

Brother, I don't want this wife. I'll give it to you.

Today, my daughter-in-law called shortly after driving out. Wife: honey, I hit someone else's car, starting with B. Go and get some money.

Husband: You hit BYD?

Wife: No husband: BMW? Wife: No.

Husband: Then what car did you hit?

Wife: Bugatti Veyron.

Husband: You give the phone to the owner of Bugatti Veyron.

Wife: What do you want to do?

Husband: Just give it to him.

The wife gave it to her master. Husband: Big Brother, I don't want this wife. I'll give it to you. ...

Modern joke 20 14-09- 13 22:45

Can you say something reliable?

Today, I saw a hundred dollars on the ground. I picked it up as soon as possible. Then a man next to him said, "It's mine. I've had enough. I will put it on the ground to rest. "

Come here, I promise I won't kill you.

Now I'll tell you the truth.

Look at the man with the iphone6, the girls have to stop thinking. He has no kidney. Look at the girl with iphone6, the man will chase it boldly. His boyfriend has no kidney. What are you afraid of?

Modern jokes

Mom, this is not good.

Just now, my aunt brought a watermelon. My mother saw it and said politely, "Oh, you're welcome. If only the watermelon had come ... "

Modern jokes 2014-09-1319: 26

How much I want to hear it at this time, get out.

"Waiter, check out." "Hello, sir, would you like to pay by credit card or cash?" "Is it okay to wash the dishes?"

Modern jokes 2014-09-1318: 25