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A cold joke that turns cold into ice.

Summary of cold jokes about turning cold into ice

1. On the bus, next to a beautiful woman stood a woman with a loose belt and a bulging stomach.

The driver's big brother spoke: That beauty, give your seat to a pregnant woman! ?

As a result, the beautiful woman said:? With what? I'm pregnant too! ?

The fat girl pointed at the driver and cursed: You are the fucking pregnant woman! ?

One day, Lao Wang rode a motorcycle through a bridge and saw a beggar digging a brick under the bridge and putting money in it.

The next day, he passed by again, and the beggar dug bricks and stuffed money, thinking that it must be the place where the beggar hid the money.

So I got off the motorcycle and found a brick under the bridge. I opened it and found ten dollars and a note that read:? You take a taxi and I ride a motorcycle for ten yuan. ?

I looked up and saw the beggar run away on a motorcycle. . .

3, play truth or dare A buddy lost, let him call 10086 to buy sanitary napkins.

Customer Service: Hello, what can I do for you?

Buddy: Hello, I want to buy a pack of sanitary napkins. ?

Customer service: Oh, sorry, sir, we don't have this service here. ?

Dude: Well, I bought it before. Why don't I sell it now?

Customer Service: Sorry, sir, we don't have this service, or you can call 100 10.

4, see a sister paper to jump off a building, I said: you are dying, it is better to let me cool!

I didn't expect her to agree! After the crash, I asked: Life is so beautiful, why should I die?

She cried: I have AIDS, I don't want to live!

Me:. . . . .

Today, I went to a restaurant with my friends. I was just about to order when someone shouted, boss, give the embassy a light.

My friend and I were curious and asked for a copy. After a while, the boss brought a pig's large intestine

We wondered, did you tell the boss that we don't order pork intestines?

The boss said why not, just say you set fire to the dung pipe.

6. Today, my colleague quarreled with my boss, and my colleague was very angry: it's almost the Spring Festival, let alone the holiday. You asked me to do this and that, why didn't the boss let me do it!

The boss is a mess. .

7. Being your brother's boss is not a good boss! ! ! He embarrassed you to ask for leave, asked you to resign, asked you to raise your salary, and asked you to get back your arrears. . . Stop talking. . . My brother just told me that he is on duty this Spring Festival. . .

8. The reporter interviewed an uncle in the street:? What's your New Year's resolution?

Uncle looked at the camera and asked, can you code me?

? Can't! ?

Uncle said flatly:? If such a small request can't satisfy others, what is the wish?

9. Great, the boss said today that I will be given 20 days' unpaid leave in the New Year because of my excellent work.

10, what do you do? Where do you work? What is the salary? Why didn't your girlfriend come? The Spring Festival is coming. Are you ready to answer these questions?

Up to now, I have prepared the most crucial R. When people ask why my girlfriend didn't come back, I will tell them: Spring Festival travel rush is in a hurry, and I can't buy a train ticket! ?

1 1. The busier a friend drives a car for the leader, the busier he is during the Chinese New Year. Today, the leaders have a meeting in the Grand Hotel. After the meeting, they all went out, and the drivers stood in front of their cars and waited. The goods had a whim to say: this TM is the same as picking up children in kindergarten.

12, because of life reasons, I am short of money for the New Year. Now we undertake the following business: posting couplets to 20 yuan, setting off firecrackers to 20 yuan, hanging lanterns to 20 yuan, accompanying 6000 yuan for the New Year, accompanying 500 yuan for the New Year (the red envelope belongs to me), accompanying 2000 yuan for dinner, including jiaozi 50 yuan jiaozi, drinking 800 yuan for others, helping me write 800 yuan for the first two or three grades of the winter vacation homework primary school, killing chickens and plucking hair, please help me publicize it, thank you! ~

13, why do men want to roll sheets all day when they are in love? Because I was washed away by love.

14, many people don't know that rice was actually a piece of shit when it was a child!

15, men find shaving very troublesome. Women find makeup troublesome. It's amazing that a fake mother can accomplish these two things every day.

16, see how crazy couples are! Arbor Day can be Valentine's Day, also called Sowing Day.

17, what should I ask a buddy today? He said: The better the car, the bigger the house and the smaller the daughter-in-law. . .

18, my friend cried to me, saying that he was often lovelorn because he was too poor. I suddenly despair of this society: he is also poor, why can he still have a girlfriend?

19. What if adults and children always walk with their heads up? Most of them are caused by mobile phones. Just confiscate it!

20. To tell the truth, I am the kind of person who lives by my face: I can give you a big reward for venting, and I will slap you for 20 yuan!

2 1, women like men? Smart? 、? Excellent? 、? Wide range of hobbies? But what are these specific manifestations? Good at playing games, smart is not very smart? Is Xueba excellent? Are you interested in playing chess and fighting landlords? Neither.

Being able to make money is smart; A career with status and status is called Excellence; Playing golf, diving and skiing are a wide range of interests.

In the final analysis, if a man is poor, it is basically difficult to hook up with excellent people.

22. Parents beat you because they love you. If they don't love you, they will kill you.

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