Tell me some funny jokes.

Once upon a time, Americans went sightseeing in Russia. One day, I saw two Russian workers on my way to Russia. One is to dig a hole by the roadside with a shovel. He digs a hole every three meters. Another worker immediately backfilled the hole just dug by the previous worker, and so on ... The American was curious and asked the first Russian worker, "Why did the guy behind you fill in the hole just after you dug it?" Russian workers replied: "We are greening the road. I dig a hole, the second person plants trees, and the third person fills the soil. But the second man didn't come today. 2. School Booking Office: Tickets are particularly tight now. If you don't have the train ticket you want, will you obey the adjustment? Me: Obey. After getting the ticket the next day, I was very angry: I booked a ticket to Shandong, why did I get a ticket to Shanxi! ! ! School booking office: Didn't you say that you obey the adjustment? X, an employee of the personnel department of an enterprise, was recently transferred to the public relations department downstairs. On this day, his friend called the original department: "Is X there? X's colleague replied, "He is no longer in the personnel department." "Friend:" Huh? When did he ... Colleague: "Last week. "Friend:" I don't know anything about it … I didn't give him a ride … "Colleague:" Never mind, just go down and find him? "Friend, you are kidding. Colleague: I'm not kidding. When he left, he said that if anyone missed him, he was always welcome to visit below. Friend:. . . . This is inconvenient. . . . Colleague: Well, it's really inconvenient during the day. I'll ask him to come to you at night! ! 4. When I got up in the morning, I saw a Netease comment on the first floor: Everybody calm down and come and listen to what the fifth floor says. Second floor: I think the fifth floor is very reasonable. The third layer: the fifth layer speaks the voice of the people. Fourth floor: The fifth floor is really nice! Fifth floor: upstairs are idiots! ! 5. A customer walks to the front desk. Customer: "Give me a small bowl. "Me:" Huh? "I didn't know it was a sundae until the customer pointed to the menu. Me: "sundaes? What flavor do you want? " Customer: "Apple's. "Me:" Huh? Sorry, I have never sold apples. Customer: "What's that green one?" Me: Oh, that's aloe. Customer: Aloe vera? Isn't that a flower! Can you eat? "Me:" Yes! "Customer:" Forget it, I never eat blindly. "I want coffee." Me: (at a loss) "Sorry, I have never sold coffee." Customer: "What's the dark black one?" Me: "That's chocolate." Customer: "forget it, chocolate is too sweet." I want the red one. " It's strawberries. "I: (super happy, I can guess right once. ) "Yes, how much do you want? Customer: One, but I don't eat sesame seeds. Please help me pick out all the strawberry seeds. "I:! @~#$%^&； & amp**~! @#$%^&； * 6, two children are talking: A said: Our whole family likes animals very much, my mother likes cats, my brother likes dogs and my sister likes rabbits. B said: What about your father? A said: I like foxes. Once the bell rings, everyone must go home. When going down the stairs, a boy stepped on his right foot with his left foot and fell into a big font in the middle of the road ... He thought at that time: No, it's too embarrassing, you have to pretend to be dizzy. As a result, the students next to him saw the boy motionless, quickly helped him up, and then slapped him in the past ... 8. Is that the smell? 0? Once upon a time, an old man liked to drink soup cooked by his wife. As long as he doesn't drink for a day, he will feel uncomfortable all over. Later, his wife died and he couldn't drink the soup, so he was very sad and began to let his wife cook it. ? 0? But no matter how well his daughter-in-law does, he always throws it aside and says, "It's not the smell. You can cook such terrible soup! "At first, my daughter-in-law always submitted to humiliation, but as the days passed, she still couldn't do it. Finally, she had a murder plan to kill her father-in-law. But she doesn't know how to do it. She thought and thought, and suddenly found a rusty pesticide in the corner. ? 0? She sprayed insecticide into the soup, and then got up the courage to give it to her father-in-law, who shouted, "That's the smell! That's the smell! " ? 0? 2 9. A man ventured alone in the forest and suddenly found himself surrounded by cannibals. So he shouted to the sky: "I am dead, God help me!" " "When the light came on, I saw a voice from the sky:" Not necessarily, you can pick up a big stone on the ground and smash the leader to death. " So he picked up the biggest stone on the ground and threw it at the chief, just killing him. All the people stayed for a while, then glared at each other. At this moment, another voice came from the sky: "Now you are really dead." 10, 20 10 college entrance examination Liaoning volume composition topic: "Happiness is"-happiness is that I have never drunk Sanlu milk powder since I was a child, I have never been vaccinated in Shanxi, and I have never met a strange millet with a knife in kindergarten; Happiness is not being slapped by the teacher at school, dancing for the leader in the rain on Children's Day, or letting the leader say something that is not in line with his age. Happiness is going out to work without being hit by a BMW. This unit is not Foxconn and its leader is not Song Shanmu. Happiness is having capsules to eat when you are in poor health. 1 1, examiner; What is the retail price of windows 7 Professional Edition in Chinese mainland? Me: 5 yuan Examiner: Go out, the word "give up the next one" has never appeared in my dictionary. I voted again and again and finally got an interview with Google. However, I went to Google for an interview and was kicked out after answering a question ... Examiner: Where did you get the news of Google interview? Me: Baidu examiner: Go out, the brother next door is depressed, but I still have to support myself first. Drag a friend to McDonald's to find a job. . But the other person is very abnormal, let me sing McDonald's songs. At this time, my brother smiled. I have known McDonald's songs since I was a child. So I opened my mouth and came: with KFC, life will be fine! Examiner: Going out ~ ~ ~ ~ McDonald's failed in the interview. My mother dragged someone to find a job in mobile customer service. My mom says this doesn't require technology. You should try it first. I agreed without thinking. The interview went well and the other party appreciated me. Finally, the examiner said to me, you are very good. Please leave your phone number so that we can inform you to go to work. Me: "132 ..." Examiner: Get out. . . . My heart is broken. . . Being unemployed for so long, eating and drinking at home. My family looked at me helplessly. Walking to a shopping mall, I saw Artie looking for a clerk. I think I should try. Examiner: Please tell us our slogan. I: Just do it. Examiner: Get out, next. Repeated failures did not dampen my confidence. I settled down to study hard and finally got into our local civil servants with excellent results. Still, there is a fucking interview. During the interview, I answered questions and saw the examiner's face. I think there is no problem with this job. When I am happy. The examiner asked me, young man, which historical figure do you like best? I answered without thinking: Little Shenyang! Examiner: Get out. This failure, I have a very important life consideration. Looking back on everything before, I finally found that the most important thing is that I answered some questions wrong. However, I have made the best preparation for this interview. Nokia's product department informed me that it took me a week to finish all the work. Even the slogan is not wrong: science and technology are people-oriented. The examiner was very satisfied and said that if there were no accidents, he could come to work tomorrow. At this moment, the phone rang and a discordant voice appeared: "Hello MOTO".