Seek short and incisive hilarious jokes

1, Mr. Bao said to Zhan Zhao, "Look at my face for a while."

Zhan Zhao: "You're fucking kidding!"

2. Bao Qingtian told the emperor about the poor life of the people: in some places, taxes are very high, and people's lives are so hard that they can't even light kerosene lamps. The room was dark and they couldn't see me when I went in.

The emperor gave him a bored look and said, This is your personal problem. Would you please give an appropriate example next time?

3. Gongsun Ce has the habit of licking the brush every time he finishes writing Chinese calligraphy, so his lips are always black. One day, Zhan Zhao leaned over to Gongsun Ce and said, "I have a question for you."

Gongsun Ce said, "If you have a fart, let it go."

Zhan Zhao said, "What about you ... Kiss Lord Bao?"

4. When Zhan Zhao was studying painting, he saw that rice paper was black. Gongsun Ce said he wasted paper.

Zhan Zhao said coldly, "I'm drawing a portrait of Bao Gong, understand?"

5. Someone boasted: "I saw a play today, which was really fun!"

A man asked, "What play?"

"The Peking Opera Bao Gong and Cao Cao."

"No, Bao Gong belongs to the Song Dynasty and Cao Cao belongs to the Three Kingdoms. The age difference is nearly a hundred years. How can Bao Gong behead Cao Cao? "

"You don't know Bao's temper. As long as he is a bad guy, he doesn't care about the Song Dynasty and the Three Kingdoms."

6. When will there be a bright moon? Ask heaven for wine. Bao Gong touched his forehead and said, You are drunk, Zhan Guard!

7. One night, an assassin sneaked into Bao Zheng's room, tried to assassinate him and uncovered the quilt, only to find that there was no one on the bed. He thought that the plot had been discovered, and he was frightened and ran out of the door.

After a while, Bao's language came from the room: Fortunately, I am used to sleeping naked. ...

8. Zhan Hu, what are you doing there?

"Hush, sun's adult, don't make any noise. I am watching the solar eclipse. "

"Eclipse? Why don't I know? "

"Not yet. I'll have it when Lord Bao comes out. "

9. Bao Gong: Mr. Gongsun, when I was an official, I loved my people like a son and had a good reputation. Why is it so deserted to open an inn after retirement?

Gongsun Ce: I think it's a bad name.

Bao Gong: Bao Zheng Inn, what's the matter?

Gongsun Ce: You can tell it's a black shop.

10, Zhan Zhao finally resigned one day. Bai Yutang asked inexplicably: Why did you give up your bright future?

Hearing this, Zhan Zhao struck the table with anger and said angrily: Working under Bao Zheng, the words "behind the scenes", "life stain" and "black eating black" are all sensitive words. How can he do criminal investigation?

1 1. Lord Bao made the details of the murderer's crime clear, and the murderer had to nod and admit it.

Finally, the murderer said, "My Lord, there is something unknown about the villain. How do you know the details of my crime so well? "

"This is what our government saw with its own eyes."

"My Lord, it was dark and windy that night, and there was no one around."

Bao Zheng pointed to his face and said, "You know!"

12, the dynasty asked, "Who do you think is the most popular in Kaifeng?"

Mahan: "It won't be the four of us anyway."

Zhang Long sighed: "Who made us so ordinary?"

Zhao Hu: "Mr. Gongsun is fine, at least he is very literary."

Gongsun Ce said, "Literature and art are out of fashion these days."

Zhan Zhao: "Fortunately, Bao and I are neither ordinary nor literary."

Bao Zheng: "Zhan Guard is right, hahaha."

13, Bao Zheng: Mr. Gongsun, what is Kaifengfu?

Gongsun Ce (without thinking): Lord Hui, Kaifengfu is a relative of the students and also their mother ~ ~ ~

Bao Zheng (stroking his beard and nodding): Well, your answer is very good. Kaifeng is your mother. You should love her! !

Zhan Zhao glanced at Bao Zheng and shivered!

Bao Zheng: Tell me, Zhan Hu, what is Kaifengfu?

Zhan Zhao (trembling): Lord Hui, Kaifengfu is Mr. Sun's mother!

14, Zhan Zhao was unconvinced by Gongsun Ce and deliberately sneered at him.

Zhan Zhao: Sometimes, sir, stupid people ask questions that smart people can't answer. Think about it, why is this? "

Gongsun Ce: Mr Zhan, you can't answer this question.

15, Bao Zheng and Gongsun Ce gambled again.

Bao Zheng: You know everything, but you can't tell jokes, can you?

Gongsun Ce: Gee, there are so many jokes in one sentence, I'm afraid you don't understand.

Bao Zheng: Ha ha ha, how can you not understand? What a joke.

16, Bao Zheng: Mr. Gongsun, a woman came to our house today, saying that her "xianggong" went shopping for potatoes a year ago and never came back! How do you suggest the government help her?

Gongsun Ce: Well, my Lord, just tell her, "Why are you so stubborn? Since we can't wait for his potatoes, let's change to other dishes. "

17, Zhan Zhao excitedly said to the people crying injustice: "Don't worry, Mr. Bao is a good official who can't even find a lantern!"

Bao Zheng listened and said angrily, "Zhan Dashuai, is this official that black?"

18, the panda said, "My dream is to take a color photo in my lifetime."

Bao Zheng sighed, "You are so greedy. I just want to take a black and white photo. "

19, Bao Zheng and Zhan Zhao meet for the first time. Bao Zheng handed in: "I'm going to Kaifeng, Yin Bao Zheng."

Zhan Zhao replied: "I am Xia Xia Zhan Zhao."

Bao Zheng: "I still can't tell a man from a woman."

20. Zhan Zhao: "Mr. Gongsun, Bai Yutang and I decided to go to the United States to catch the murderer."

Gongsun Ce: "Good. Considering the cultural differences, you'd better each take an alias with local characteristics to facilitate your actions."

Zhan Zhao: "Thank you, sir."

Gongsun Ce carefully observed Zhan Zhao and Bai Yutang and patted his thigh: "Let's call them cats and mice."

2 1, Zhan Zhao caught up with the assassin, managed to subdue him, but rushed back to Kaifeng. Gongsun Ce met Zhan Zhao and said, "Lingyang Zhan, you are absent-minded! Just now you went after the assassin, and another assassin lying in ambush on the roof immediately entered Bao Gong's room! "

Zhan Zhaoxin was surprised: "Are you all right? ! "

Gongsun Ce looked at the dark clouds covering the moon in the sky and said, "Fortunately, Lord Bao used his quick wits to take off all his clothes. Presumably the assassin couldn't find him. "

22, in order to meet the needs of foreign guests to enjoy the moon, Bao Zheng was hung instead of the moon. "Your Majesty, Bao Zheng is also an official of the imperial court ..." The Eight Immortals pleaded: "Besides, when enjoying the moon, it is just a crescent moon on Bao Zheng's forehead."

"reasonable." Song Renzong nodded. "Somebody, put Bao Zheng down."

"Your Majesty is wise!"

"Give him a swollen face before hanging up."

23. An explosion occurred somewhere in Kaifeng, and the fire spread to all parts of the house, causing heavy casualties.

Bao Zheng and his party rushed to the scene of the accident to investigate the cause.

Suddenly, a doctor carrying a medicine box grabbed Bao Zheng and covered his nose and mouth with a cloth.

Zhan Zhao was frightened, drew his sword and came out: "Bold fanatics, how dare you harm Bao Gong!"

The doctor said angrily, "harm your sister!" " This fellow is burned to black charcoal and still running around! "

24. Bao Zheng hurried to Gongsun Ce: "Mr. Gongsun, help me quickly. Why is the new mobile phone bought by our government black? "

Gongsun Ce took it and thought for a moment ... "My Lord, do you use your big photo as a desktop again?"

25. "Why is Zhan Guard so sad?"

"I lost Bao Gong when I was traveling abroad."

"Where did you lose it?"

Kenya "