What is the best "means" for men and women to keep each other after breaking up?

Introduction: After falling in love, some people say that "it can't be redeemed, because breaking up proves that they don't love", but others want to try again. Everyone has different views on feelings, in fact, as long as you feel happy.

0 1

Xiaoli cried to me. She was broken up.

Xiaoli is twenty-five years old and has been dating her boyfriend for two years. Originally, she thought they could get married in about 202 1. Unexpectedly, at the end of 2020, her boyfriend broke up with her.

Xiaoli sobbed and asked me what to do.

I comforted her, since this is a relationship that has passed, don't think too much. After crying, cheer up, work hard, take good care of yourself and meet more suitable people in the future.

The first love now is a married man and woman, one in a million. Most people have never been lovelorn, and lovelorn is not a fatal thing. Since the relationship between two people has come to an end, it means that two people are not the most suitable people for each other.

But Xiaoli told me that she couldn't let go of this relationship. In the past two years, boys have been very kind to her, but she didn't cherish it.

I asked her, "What are you going to do?"

Xiaoli said, "I want to save him and keep him."

02

Is it necessary to save the feelings that have been broken up and missed?

I've heard many answers. Some people say: "since we broke up, we no longer love each other." Why do we have the cheek to find each other? Everyone has dignity. "

But some people say, "If you still love, go for it. After all, falling in love is not easy. Since you love, don't let yourself regret not working hard. "

The two answers, the former is independent and strong, and the latter is sentimental and tenacious, each with its own merits.

So, in the communication between men and women, what is the best "means" to keep each other?

I never believe in tears. If you cry and beg, you think your humility and tears can be exchanged for each other's pity. In essence, your "tangled tears" will only make the other person dislike you.

Even if the other person still likes you, he still has feelings for you and loves your tears, so the recovered feelings are doomed not to last long.

This reminds me of an emotional experience of my college roommate many years ago.

03

My roommate met a sunny and beautiful boy in college. The boy has two dimples when he smiles, which fascinates him.

At the beginning of their relationship, both of them were very sweet, just like most couples. Boys will send meals to their roommates and go shopping with them. Roommates will accompany boys to Internet cafes to play games, and when boys play ball training, they will stand outside and wait patiently.

But with the passage of time, two people have been in contact for half a year, and the problem comes out.

In fact, it's nothing serious, just something with different views and living habits. For example, boys think that roommates are lazy, that boys should not play games, that boys always skip classes, and that boys always ignore themselves in order to play ball ... but these small problems lead to frequent quarrels between them.

There are more quarrels, and there are more barriers in my heart. Soon, the boys broke up and felt very tired together.

The roommate disagreed with the breakup and cried for help. The boy felt sorry for his roommate and finally changed his mind. However, half a month after they got back together, the previous contradiction still existed, so the drama of breaking up was staged again.

Roommates still don't agree to break up, but this time the boy has made up his mind. No matter how his roommate cried, he didn't change his mind. The roommate ran downstairs to the boys' dormitory in rainy days, which means that if the boys don't agree to get back together, she will always stand in the rain and wait.

The boy didn't come down all night.

Because of this, the boy was criticized by his classmates for being stingy, indifferent, uncaring and even ungrateful. The boy gave a wry smile and never tired of his roommate. He used to get along well with each other, but he was made twice by his roommate's crying and got caught in the rain, making him look like an enemy.

I had a fight, but it didn't have any effect. On the contrary, I provoked the other side, played a joke on myself and hurt my body.

04

If two people are together and want to keep each other after breaking up, the best way is never to cry or beg.

When two people are together, the other person loves you, cherishes you and cares about you, so your tears will make the other person feel distressed, but once you break up, you still expect to cry to save the other person, which will only make the other person feel disgusted.

If two people just break up peacefully, their contact information will naturally stay, indicating that they still have some feelings for each other. In this case, don't put yourself in a humble position, otherwise the other party will still not change their minds.

First of all, you need to focus on improving your own value, including external image and internal temperament.

If you used to be sloppy, dressed casually, and even often vomited by the object, it is even more necessary to improve your external image. I don't want to dress up beautifully, but at least I have to clean myself up. Clothes are not necessarily beautiful, but they must be the most suitable for my overall image.

In addition to the external image, the inside is also very important. For example, in the case of roommates and boyfriends mentioned earlier, the reasons why boys break up with roommates include that they think roommates are too lazy and don't make progress, and they always say that he plays games and balls.

Since roommates want to recover, they should first get rid of lazy behavior habits and learn to get up early and go out for morning exercises instead of sleeping until noon. Go to the canteen to eat happily every day, instead of waiting for boys to deliver meals or roommates to deliver meals every day as before.

At the same time, we should make ourselves no longer mediocre, but strive to make progress, have a good class, go to the library to read more books, try to pass Band 6, and participate in school activities appropriately. ...

In this way, even if you can't save your boyfriend's heart, at least such a change is excellent for yourself.

Secondly, reduce your sense of need and don't let the other person feel that you have to be the other person.

After breaking up, maybe you still love each other, so you always pay attention to each other's every move. For example, after breaking up with your boyfriend, your roommate always goes to the Internet cafe to find him and waits in the basketball court every day. This will not only cause some troubles to the other party, but also make the other party feel that you don't respect yourself and love yourself. You just have to be him.

Why should I talk about "focusing on improving my own value"? In fact, I also hope that both boys and girls will focus on improving themselves after being broken up, instead of staring at their predecessors all day, resulting in the phenomenon of "lowering their own value".

If you want the other person to continue or fall in love with you again, then first of all, you should know how to respect and care for yourself, instead of making the other person feel that you have no self-esteem.

Finally, establish a circle of friends and let the other person know that you are getting better and better.

When you are getting better and better, you may not like the original person, but if you still like him, you should let the other person know how good you are now.

The construction of a circle of friends not only refers to the WeChat circle of friends, but also includes your social display circle. If WeChat or QQ has not been deleted, letting the other party see you now through the circle of friends will greatly improve your image and life. Your image can send your own image photos, and the changes in your life can send your certificate, learning process and so on.

The important thing is that you show that you are beautiful, rich, interesting, full of sunshine and warmth, so that the other person can't help but want to participate in your life and be with you again.

In the final analysis, redemption is actually the process of creating attraction.

05

Some people say that love that requires skill is insincere, not sincere. But there is a saying in life that "often the true feelings can't be kept, and the routine always wins the hearts of the people."

What we want to see is not that routines win people's hearts, but that we can make ourselves better and keep the person we have always loved through certain ways and means.

Love can't be reconciled, love can't be forced, but there is nothing wrong with making some moderate efforts on the basis of principles.

Everyone has different lifestyles and attitudes towards feelings. Anyway, it is good to be happy.