Where is a joke that can amuse my girlfriend?

1. I went to the supermarket specially and found that the unit price of many products of Sanyuan Milk is 4, 5 yuan or even more. I feel very angry. Where is the integrity of such a company? Where is the conscience? Isn't it clearly called "Sanyuan"? !

My boyfriend proposed successfully, and he always fantasized about holding a wedding, just like beating chicken blood. Suddenly, one day, he came to me solemnly and said, wife, we can't get married without it forever. You know you can't go back on your word?

Yesterday, when I bought steamed buns for my wife, there was an old beggar next to me, holding a wool ticket and wanting to buy steamed buns. When he asked for four dollars, he withdrew his hand and was ready to leave. The uncle who sells steamed stuffed buns said: three for one yuan. I'll pack them for you later. Then I wrapped three hot meat buns.

At noon, my cousin asked my six-year-old son to take a nap, and the child was too playful to sleep. Cousin said, "You can pretend to sleep for a while and lie to me." The child felt reasonable and said, "Then I'll pretend to sleep for half an hour and get up to play." My cousin said, "All right." The child lay in bed and began to pretend to sleep. Two minutes later, he watched it fall asleep. ...

5. I saw a mobile phone program called "Improve your work efficiency" and thought, Great, I just need it. So download, install, run, ga, the phone is broken. After two days, I found that, hey, don't tell me, this work efficiency has really improved. ...

6. I have several children. I don't know where they are and how they are doing. I admit, I am an incompetent father. I didn't even know I had such a child if they didn't send me a text message and call my dad, saying that something had happened to them and asked me to remit money to an account. ...

7. One day, the teacher scolded the students in the class: "You are too stupid, and your IQ is negative. My IQ is one hundred times that of you! " Student: ...

8. Today, I watched my boss driving a brand-new BMW slowly in front of the building, and I couldn't help showing my envious eyes. The boss seemed to notice my eyes and said to me, "As long as you are willing to work hard, I will be able to drive a better car this time next year."

9. 127 Road-Forum users talk to customer service, "Hello, it's my pleasure to serve you! Customer: Hello, is this SF Express Company? Customer service:. . . Sorry, it's SF Express! Customer: Here is a dart. Send someone to pick it up! Customer service: ... ! !

10. In high school, I got up early. My mother made me a schoolbag and took it to school very early, usually steamed bread. My mother makes porridge when there is no class on Sunday, and I don't know which nerve is smoking. I picked up the porridge and threw it in my schoolbag …