What is it like to experience gender ambiguity?

When Happy Girls became super popular in 2005, that era was probably the most gender-ambiguous era in China. A large number of young girls who should have been as beautiful as flowers have turned into short-haired men. , I was one of them at that time.

Since junior high school, I have had a small haircut, wearing loose sportswear, the smallest size for boys, a pure black T-shirt and squeaking sweatpants, which makes my mother worried. It's so annoying that my mother calls the T-shirts I wear old men's shirts. In short, I am a pure man.

I also made a few jokes. When I went to the toilet, some girls always looked frightened and looked at me with fear. Later, I basically stopped going to the toilet outside for fear of scaring others. When I go shopping with my mother, I often get compliments like, "Hey, your son is so handsome and how old he is."

When I went shopping for clothes with my sister, we were stopped outside and told that boys had better not go in the girls’ fitting room. Then when I meet my sister's classmate, I will ask, "Hey, your brother is in junior high school, right?" Basically, when I first see you, I think you are a boy.

Well, here comes the most embarrassing thing. During class, our seats rotate between the front and back rows. That week I was in the last row. Is it class? I like to lie down and listen to the class. I was quite excited to listen. Then the new physics teacher in our class saw me lying on my stomach and said: "That little boy in the back, open your eyes and stop sleeping." I was hit by double injuries at once, one was my gender, and the other was my eyes. Shot 2 times.

Now that I think back to that time, I feel quite silly. Isn’t it better to just be a pretty girl? What kind of pure man is that? I wasted so many years of my youth and missed flirting with little boys. opportunity, and even missed the opportunity for puppy love.