Who tells a few jokes? It's not cold. I want to tell them to my classmates and teachers.

1. A stupid thief was ordered to spy on a luxury villa in order to do it in the future. Walking through the Woods in the dark, he saw a pair of girls in the living room, playing the piano ensemble enthusiastically. When he came back, he said to the leader, "Let's not touch that place. They will not be rich. I saw two people sharing a piano inside. "

One night, I received a call from the telecommunications bureau: "Sir, we now suspect that there is something wrong with your telephone line. Please say a few words loudly into the microphone and sing some songs so that we can determine the fault. " So I shouted into the microphone, sang another song, and then asked the other end of the phone: "Is there something wrong with my phone?" I only heard a snicker on the phone: "There is nothing wrong with your mobile phone, there is something wrong with your brain."

A man found a magic lamp, and the genie in the lamp told him he could make a wish.

He said, "I want a sandwich."

The genie said, "Your wish is too small. You should make a bigger one. "

"Then," the man said happily, "I want three extra-large sandwiches."

Two idiots went fishing for a holiday. They rented all the equipment: fishing line, fishing rod, swimsuit, boat, car, and even rented a cabin in the forest, which cost them a lot of money. The first day they went fishing, but they didn't catch anything. The next day is the same, and there is a third day. This situation continued, and finally on the last day of their holiday, one of them caught a fish.

When they drove home, both of them were depressed. One of them turned to the other and said, "Do you know that this useless fish cost us 1500 yuan?" Another person said, "Wow! Luckily we only caught one! "

2. A ghost met God and quickly complained to God: Ghost: Oh, God, can I be an angel in the next life? God took a look at the ghost, yes. The ghost bowed his head shyly: but I still want to suck blood ... God: ... in the next life, you can make sanitary napkins. 3. The male teacher said angrily to a girl who was sleeping in class: I'm so tired up there, don't move down there! If you don't cooperate, you won't even respond If you have nothing in your stomach in the future, don't blame the teacher! As a result, the whole class fainted

4. A professor teaches in a foreign country: "Don't be afraid of being dirty in scientific research. . . "Then he squatted down, poked the cow dung on the ground with his finger, and then put his finger in his mouth and licked it clean. A classmate quickly said, "I'm not afraid of being dirty." . . "Then I poked the cow dung on the ground with my finger and licked it in my mouth. Professor: "Besides, I should be good at observation. I just poked dung with my middle finger, but I licked my index finger. . . "5. A polar bear stays in a daze on the ice, and when he is really bored, he begins to pluck his hair. A ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….